South Park Archives

The 19th Annual Cable ACE Awards 1997 was a South Park short created for the CableACE Awards of 1997.

Background[]

Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Kenny McCormick are special presenters for the "The Best Talk Show Series" award. The nominees were:

  • Charles Grodin: The Charles Grodin Show, CNBC.
  • James Lipton: Inside The Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network.
  • Various NBC News Commentators: InterNight, MSNBC
  • Larry King: Larry King Live, CNN.
  • Bill Maher: Politically Incorrect, Comedy Central.

Throughout the presentation, the boys complain about the cheapness of the ACE awards during the previous non-televised night, by saying it was general admission, they had to pack their own dinners, and the prize for winning best animation series was a 5 Dollar gift certificate to Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles. Kenny reads the winning nominee in a muffled voice which was translated by Stan as Inside The Actors Studio Bravo Cable Network. They all clap at the end and nothing bad happens to Kenny.

Trivia[]

  • This was the final edition of the Cable Ace Awards.

Video[]

South_Park_@_The_Cable_Ace_Awards

South Park @ The Cable Ace Awards

Gallery[]

Script[]

Cast[]

Cable ACE Awards 1997
A stage. Sela Ward is speaking
Sela Ward
Here are Stan, Kyle, Cartman [cheers and applause rise up from the audience] and the most eloquent of them all, Kenny. [looks off to her left. Cut to a construction-paper stage. Wearing solid black bowties, Stan and Cartman enter from screen left, Kyle and Kenny from screen right. They line up abreast behind a little podium]
Stan
Whoa, dude! Sela Ward is hot!
Kyle
Yeah!
Kenny
(Yeah, I'd pinch her to get in trouble) [the others laugh as do the audience]
Stan
Yeah. I would, too.
Kyle
Tonight, we are here to present the award for Best Talk Show Series.
Cartman
Ey! Wait a minute!
Kyle
What?!
Cartman
This doesn't look anything like last night's Cable Ace Awards! Everything's all fancy!
Stan
That's because we were on last night, Cartman, when they did the non-televised awards for little, unimportant shows like ours. [laughter]
Cartman
What do you mean?! Why were we on last night?!
Stan
Dude, it was the same as tonight, except that we had general-admission seating, and had to pack our own dinners. [laughter]
Kyle
Yeah. And instead of an actual award, people received a $5 gift certificate at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. [laughter]
Cartman
That sucks! Who's in charge here?!
Stan
Anyway, the nominees for Best Talk Show series are-
Cartman
NO! Everybody, just...hold on a minute!
Stan
Will you shut your fat mouth for five seconds, Cartman, so we can do this?! [laughter]
Cartman
No way!
Kyle
Shut up, Cartman!
Stan
Anyway, the Best Talk Show nominees are...
Kyle
[displays a picture of the first nominee. Each nominee is applauded by the audience] Charles Grodin, CNBC.
Cartman
[displays a picture of the second nominee] Inside the Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network.
Stan
[displays a horizontal picture of the third nominee] Internight, MSNBC.
Cartman
[displays a picture of the fourth nominee] Larry King Live, CNN.
Kyle
[displays a picture of the fifth nominee] And Politically Incorrect With Bill Maher, C-Comedy-ee Cen-tral.
Cartman
Mmeh!
Stan
And the winner is...
Kyle
Now, remember: there are no losers at the Cable Ace Awards, only people who are less likely to have another season. [laughter]
Stan
Yeah. And the winner is...
Kenny
[opens an envelope] (Inside the Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network.) [laughter]
Stan
Oohhhh, huh, [he and Kyle start clapping] heh-heh-heh-hehh. [Cartman starts clapping]
Kyle
Congratulations.
Cartman
Yes. Very nice, very nice.
Stan
[steps forward] Oh. He said the winner is Inside the Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network. [cheers and applause]
End of Cable ACE Awards 1997