The Jeffersons/台本

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画像

台本

補足情報

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"AWESOM-O/台本"

"The Jeffersons/台本"

"Goobacks/台本"

キャスト

• エリック・カートマン：Eric Cartman
• カイル・ブロフロフスキー：Kyle Broflovski
• クレイグ・タッカー：Craig Tucker
• ケニー・マコーミック：Kenny McCormick
• シーラ・ブロフロフスキー：Sheila Broflovski
• シャロン・マーシュ：Sharon Marsh
• ジェラルド・ブロフロフスキー：Gerald Broflovski
• スタン・マーシュ：Stan Marsh
• スティーブン・ストッチ：Stephen Stotch
• スネッツォル巡査部長：Sgt. Snetzl
• ハリソン・イェーツ：Harrison Yates
• ブランケット・ジャクソン：Blanket Jackson
• マイケル・ジャクソン：Michael Jackson
• マギー・イェーツ：Maggie Yates
• ミッチ・マーフィ：Mitch Murphy
• ランディ・マーシュ：Randy Marsh
• レッド・マッカーサー：Red McArthur
• ジョンソン：Johnson
• フレイクス：Frakes
• 子供たち多数：Various Additional Children

台本

The Jeffersons
	The neighborhood. Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny ride down the street on their big wheels.
スタン	[stops and looks at a house] Hey, check it out, dude. Somebody bought the Donovan's old house. [the other boys stop and look.]
カイル	Yeah, I think they already moved in. I saw moving vans in their driveway two days ago.
カートマン	I hope they're not Austrians. That's the last thing this town needs. [a door is heard opening]
カイル	[points] Hey Look!
	A young kid wearing an ornate face mask is seen peeking out the front door.
ブランケット	Hello!
	The boys get off their bikes and approach the kid.
カイル	Hey. Do you live here?
ブランケット	Yeah, I just moved here with my dad. Are you gonna be my new friends?
カートマン	No.
ブランケット	I really like your town. My dad wanted to move somewhere to get away from it all. He said he wanted peace and quiet, and to live with a bunch of hicks who don't know anything.
	Stan and Kyle look at each other a bit puzzled.
スタン	What's that you're wearing?
ブランケット	It's my mask. My daddy says it's best for me to hide my face. My name's Blanket.
カートマン	Your name is Blanket... Right. Well Blanket, I'm Howdy Doody, and these are my friends, Timsy, Winky, and Nod. Unfortunately, we have to be off to the Land of Booger Trees, so we'll be leaving now.
	The boys turn back to get back on to their bikes.
ブランケット	Wait! Don't you guys wanna come inside and play?
カートマン	Huh? Look dude, we're in the fourth grade, okay? You know what that means? It means we don't hang out with a little kid. Come on guys, let's get back to our Big Wheels. [they turn away.]
ブランケット	We have arcade games inside.
	Kyle and Cartman whip around. Moments later, the boys are in the house.'
	The Jeffersons' house inside.
ブランケット	Dad?
スタン	Whoa. Dude, no way!
カートマン	Oh my God, this is awesome! [runs up to a claw machine]
スタン	Dude, are these all your toys?
ブランケット	No, this is all my dad's stuff. He loves toys and video games.
カイル	Dude, he just be loaded! What does he do?
ブランケット	He's retired now.
カートマン	[guiding the machine's arm to grab a plush toy] Oh my God, dude! Your dad must be the coolest guy in the world!
ブランケット	Come on, my dad's probably out in the backyard. [guides the other three boys out]
	The backyard. The sliding door opens up to a small park, a Neverland, with a giraffe, small Ferris wheel, small carousel, and other things. The boys step through the doorway.
カートマン	Oh, kick ass! Dude, why isn't my house like this?!
ブランケット	Dad? You out here?
マイケル	Here I am, Blanket!
	Blanket's dad, a spitting image of Michael Jackson, rides into view on a small train and waves. Every few seconds his moustache falls off and he has to put it back in place. He hops off the train and dances around
マイケル	Heeee!
	He twirls, does a pelvic thrust while daintily touching his crotch.
マイケル	Jeh chabee durtah!
	He pulls up his pant legs a bit, kicks his right leg up, then whips his right arm out to full length. His moustache falls off and he resets it, then runs up to Blanket and picks him up
マイケル	Blanket! Oh my beautiful Blanket!
カイル	[softly] What's wrong with his face?
スタン	[softly] Be cool, dude. I, I think maybe he's a burn victim or something.
ブランケット	Guys, this is my dad. Michael Ja-
マイケル	Jefferson! Michael ...Jefferson, yeh. Hey, you wanna play with me?
	He runs into the yard.
マイケル	Come on, let's climb the tree! [turns to a tree and scales it] Come on, climb the tree, climb the tree!
	Michael motions for the boys to join him. They oblige and join him up there.
マイケル	Have you been up my... Wishing Tree? Tuh! It's where I come to think and dream. And now I'd like to show you my... Wishing Tree. Jam on! Where we can laugh and giggle and scream. Hee hee! Imagination is the key.
カイル	Mr. Jefferson, your son can't get up.
マイケル	Won't you imagine along with me?
カイル	Mr. Jefferson?
	On the ground, Blanket can't even reach the bottom rung of the ladder.
マイケル	We can be spacemen, or pirates on the sea Chuckajamonah! Yes we can do everything, and I mean, everything! Chuckajamonah! Up in my Wishing Tree! Hee hee! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!
	Stark's Pond, day. A group of kids skate around lazily on its frozen surface. Stan and friends race over a rise towards the lake.
スタン	Hey, you guys! You guys! [the kids gather around] You gotta come with us over to the Jeffersons!
レッド	The Jeffersons?
カートマン	[breathless] They're a new family that just moved to South Park! We met this kid named Blanket and he has the coolest dad in the world! [his chest heaves noticeably]
カイル	Mr. Jefferson said we can invite all the kids in town to go play over at their house.
カートマン	They have like, video games and rides and a cotton-candy machine, oh, and, and in their back yard, guess what they have in their back yard?! Guess. A train.
クレイグ	[in a monotone voice] No way.
カートマン	Yeah way, Craig! And if you don't believe in Mr. Jefferson, then you can just not come!
クレイグ	[not wanting to be left out] I believe in Mr. Jefferson!
	The Jefferson house, arcade room. As the kids enjoy the toys and games found there, Jefferson swings above them on a spacious swing with Bebe on his lap.
マイケル	Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, look at us on the swing! We're swinging!
ブランケット	Who wants the first cotton candy?
	The kids around him begin to clamor for it.
子供たち	Memememememememememe
	Blanket hands the first cotton-candy to Kyle.
マイケル	Mememe! I'm first! I'm first!
	Blanket steps away a bit astonished, but soon all the kids have cotton candy.
マイケル	Oooo, let's go ride the choo-choo train!
カートマン	Choo-choo train! Yay!
	The kids begin to move towards the back yard. Blanket is left on the floor trying to stand and catch up to them.
	The Jefferson back yard. The kids follow Jefferson to the train.
マイケル	Let's ride the train! The train!
	The kids climb on and the train begins to roll.
マイケル	Would you like to ride the train with me, and start a magical journey?
カートマン	Yes I would, Mr. Jefferson. You're so awesome, Mr. Jefferson.
マイケル	Cartman, you have a beautiful voice.
カートマン	Thank you Mr. Jefferson. So do you.
マイケル	Let's ride and ride on the train together
カートマン	...Train together
マイケル	On a journey through both of our minds.
カートマン	I've got time. Do youuu??
	Back near the sliding door, Stan, Kyle and Kenny look on. Blanket stands next to them and Kyle notices Blanket's left leg.
カイル	Dude, what happened to your knee?
ブランケット	[his skinned knee is shown] I fell down.
カイル	[calls out] Mr. Jefferson!
マイケル	[back on the train] Choo-choo train, it's all fun and games.
カートマン	Choo-choo train.
カイル	Mr- ! Goddammit. Here, come on. We need to clean that up. [takes Blanket inside]
	The bathroom. Kyle sits Blanket on the toilet and dresses the wound.
カイル	Alright, this is gonna sting for a second.
	Kyle dabs some alcohol onto a towel and presses the towel onto Blanket's knee, wiping off some dirt, then dabs some more alcohol onto the towel.
ブランケット	Ow!
カイル	I know, I know. Be cool.
ブランケット	Thank you. That already feels better.
	Kyle wipes Blanket's knee some more, then dabs some more alcohol onto the towel.
カイル	So, dude, do you have any brothers or sisters?
ブランケット	I have a half-brother and a half-sister. But they live with their mom now.
	Kyle wipes Blanket's knee some more, then dabs some more alcohol onto the towel.
カイル	And where is your mom?
ブランケット	I don't have a mom.
カイル	You must have a mom.
	Kyle wipes Blanket's knee some more, then dabs some more alcohol onto the towel.
カイル	You mean she doesn't live here, or she's dead, or what?
ブランケット	No. I was made in a laboratory.
カイル	What?
ブランケット	My daddy wanted to have a baby, so he put me in a test tube. Then, they put me in a woman's tummy, and, when I was born, Daddy took me home.
カイル	So you never met your mom?
ブランケット	No... But I used to have a lot of bodyguards and nannies, if that counts.
カイル	Yeah. Yeah, that counts.
	The neighborhood, some time later. The boys are walking home. Kyle seems concerned.
カートマン	Oh man, that was great! You guys know what Mr. Jefferson said? He said I'm his best friend, and I can go over to his house whenever I want! I'm supposed to go right back over there after dinner tonight!
カイル	You guys, I feel kinda bad for that kid.
カートマン	You feel bad for him?! He has everything a kid could want!
カイル	Mr. Jefferson just seems like he wants to be a kid, not have one.
カートマン	Oh, you know what?! This makes perfect sense! A guy moves into South Park with a FERRIS wheel in his back yard, and KYLE has to see a problem with it! [faces Kyle down] Mr. Jefferson is the best thing that's happened to this town in a long time, and if you miss this up, so help me god, I will rip your balls off with my bare hands! With my bare hands, Goddamn you! [turns and walks away angrily]
	Stan's house, afternoon. Stan enters the kitchen through the back door. Randy is at the breakfast nook reading a paper, Sharon puts a coffee pot onto the counter.
ランディ	Well, there he is. Where have you been all afternoon.
スタン	I was over at the new neighbors, the Jeffersons.
シャロン	Oh, are they nice people?
スタン	Yeah. It's just a dad and his son.
シャロン	Well, we're supposed to have the Broflovskis and the Stotches over for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll invite Mr. Jefferson too.
	Stan's house, evening. The Marshes and their guests are seated at table for dinner. On the left are seated Sheila, Stephen, and Linda. On the right are seated Gerald, Mr. Jefferson, Sharon, and Randy is at the head of the table.
ジェラルド	So, Mr. Jefferson, did I hear you say you moved here from Kentucky?
マイケル	Kentucky, yeah.
ランディ	I heard people saying you all were from Illinois.
マイケル	No, the- they're ignorant. That's ignorant.
スティーブン	What kind of work do you do, Mr. Jefferson?
マイケル	Oh I'm retired now, but, I was in... pharmaceuticals
シーラ	Well our boys have really taken a liking to you. You seem to really have a way with them.
マイケル	I just id- identify so much with children. Their innocence, their beauty. I think that God is in the face of every child.
ランディ	....Yeeeah.
シャロン	...They are fun. [glances back, away from the table] Boys, you okay out there?
	The living room. Stan, Kyle, and Blanket are seated on the sofa, eating.
スタン	Fine, Mom.
ブランケット	Wow, these are great. What are they called again?
カイル	They're TV dinners. Don't you wanna take that veil off so you can eat?
ブランケット	Nah, I'm not supposed to. Dad says I have to keep my face hidden.
	The doorbell rings. Stan goes to answer the front door and sees Cartman.
カートマン	What the hell is going on?! Are you having Mr. Jefferson over for dinner?!
スタン	No, my parents are.
カートマン	You guys better not be trying to Bogart my friend away!
スタン	What?
カートマン	He is my friend, got it?! I was friends with him before you assholes were, [Stan steps back...] and I-
	He closes the door. Stan walks away and Cartman looks through a window.
カートマン	Stan! Stan, I'm seriously! You'd better not be talking bad about me in there to Mr. Jefferson!
	The dining table.
ジェラルド	Hey, you know Kobe Bryant was up in Eagle today.
ランディ	Oh yeah? What do you think, Mr. Jefferson? Do you think Kobe's guilty or innocent?
マイケル	[taken aback] D'huh?
スティーブン	I think he's definitely going to jail. I just love seeing smug celebrities get their comeuppance.
マイケル	I think it's wrong what the police do to wealthy black men.
ジェラルド	Oh come on, Mr. Jefferson, you're not one of those who think that the police go around framing rich black people just because they're jealous?
マイケル	Yeah! Because their hearts are full of greed and they have... doo-doo in their souls.
	Park County Police Station. Inside Harris waits for a fax to finish printing. As another officer walks by with a cup of coffee, he takes a sheet from the machine.
ハリス	Hey Sergeant, take a look at this.
イェーツ	[disregards the sheet] Whatcha got?
ハリス	Looks like a new family has just moved into South Park. One Mr. Jefferson, age 50, bought a house there and paid cash. He seems to have a lot of money.
イェーツ	So, what's the problem?
ハリス	Take a look. Says here... [the sergeant takes the sheet and reviews it] He's black.
イェーツ	By God, so he is. Black and rich. Time to take this Mr. Jefferson down, just like we did Kobe.
	He hands the sheet and the cup of coffee to the officer and address the department.
イェーツ	Let's go people!
	Yates turns, takes his coat from the coat rack and puts it on
イェーツ	We've got another rich black guy. I want him humiliated and dragged through the dirt, and I want it done by the books!
	Stan's house, night. Stan is asleep in his room when someone pounds at his window. Stan wakes up, then goes to the window.
スタン	[looks out] Kyle?
	Stan opens the window. Michael, dressed as Peter Pan, crawls up and in.
マイケル	Hey, Stan, whatcha doin'? [dances a little]
スタン	Mr. Jefferson Awww! [hops off the bed] It's 1:30 in the morning!
マイケル	Look at me, I'm Peter Pan.
	Michael draws his small sword and swings it. His mustache falls off.
マイケル	T-shamon! I'm a little boy forever.
	Michale raises himself up on his tippy-toes.
マイケル	Hey!
スタン	Mr. Jefferson, I have to go to school tomorrow!
カートマン	Oh, son of a bitch! I knew it! What the hell are you doing, Stan?! I'll tell you what you're doing! You're trying to steal MY best friend!
スタン	He just showed up here.
カートマン	Remember, Mr. Jefferson? You said we were best friends. [a knock is heard at Stan's door]
スタン	Jesus Christ!
	Stan goes to the door and finds Kyle and Blanket in the hallway.
カイル	Dude, look who I found prowling around in my back yard.
ブランケット	[wearing his veil] Hi, Stan.
カイル	He was out all alone in the middle of the night. Mr. Jefferson isn't even home.
スタン	I know. He's here.
カイル	What?!
マイケル	Oh Kyle, Blanket, yay, it's a slumber party!
スタン	No! Mr. Jefferson, you need to take your son home.
マイケル	We can't go home. There's a ghost in our house. Me and Blanket are scared.
ブランケット	Dad says it wants to eat us.
マイケル	Please don't make us go back home. Please! We're scared, we're scared!
ブランケット	We're scared!
ミスター・ジェファーソン	Hee hee!
スタン	Okay, fine, we'll all stay here, but we're going to sleep now!
カイル	Come on, Blanket.
	Kyle takes Blanket to bed. Stan follows them and all three slide into place.
マイケル	Now let's all sleep and dream Heehee! of fun and adventurous things shamonah! It's time for us all to say goodnight
カートマン	Deeper.
	Cartman turns to Mr. Jefferson and hugs him. Stan rolls his eyes and looks at Cartman again, then closes his eyes and begins to dream...
カートマン	Mr. Jefferson, I wish I could be around you all the time. You're awesome.
マイケル	I think you're awesome too, Cartman.
	They get closer and closer to each other.
カートマン	Yeah?
マイケル	Yeah.
カートマン	Yeah?
マイケル	Yeah.
カートマン	Yeah?
	They're about to kiss, and Stan wakes up startled.
スタン	Ahaa!
	Stan looks over to his right and sees them both asleep.
マイケル	[wakes up] What's the matter, Stan? Did you have a bad dream?
スタン	Yeah. A really bad dream.
	Stan shuts his eyes and sinks down into his bed.
スタン	Oh Jesus!
	The Jefferson house. An unmarked police car, blue in color, waits across the street. Harris sips on a soda.
イェーツ	[using his walkie-talkie] Murphy, you inside?
マーフィ	[walking through the arcade room] We're inside, sir. Harris was right. This guy looks like he has more money than all of us put together. Black sonofabitch!
	He whips out a package of something white.
マーフィ	I'm planting the cocaine now.
	He sets it under the toy machine Cartman was using earlier.
イェーツ	Johnson, what about you?
ジョンソン	[in a closet] Placing the blood spatter now, sir. [right on a pair of Jefferson's shoes]
イェーツ	Frakes?
フレイクス	Placing pubic hair from the raped girl now, sir.
イェーツ	All right, when this Jefferson guy shows up, arrest him fast and try not to beat him. There could be neighbors with video cameras. [sighs] Why do we do it, Harris?
ハリス	Sir?
イェーツ	Why is it that us policemen around the country have such a passion for framing wealthy African-Americans with crimes they didn't commit?
ハリス	Oh, why? I guess I never thought about why, sir. We just do it.
イェーツ	Twenty-five years I've been on the force. I've seen every kind of sick, depraved act known to humanity and still, when I see a black man walk by who has more money than me, I... want to vomit my gizzards right in the gutter. But why? Maybe there is no reason. Maybe there's just a big blue ball out there that's mostly covered with water and we're just goin' along for the ride.
	Stan's house, morning. Someone knocks on Stan's door.
ランディ	Stan, time to get up for school. [opens the door and looks in] Stan? What the-? [sees the five people in bed] Mr. Jefferson?!
マイケル	[sits up quickly] Oh oh, we were just having a slumber party.
	The boys sit up and look at Randy.
ランディ	Mr. Jefferson, this is highly inappropriate!
マイケル	Inappropriate? No, you're being ignorant. They're my friends. You see, I- I didn't have a childhood, so I'm really just a child myself.
	He takes out some bills from a back pocket and approaches Randy and Sharon
マイケル	Here, everything's okay. I want you each to have a hundred dollars. [gives each of them 100 dollar bills]
ランディ	Wow, I'm gonna go buy that new sport coat I've been wanting. [leaves, and Sharon watches him go]
マイケル	Come on, Blanket. We have to go home and feed the animals. Bye, friends. [quickly leaves with Blanket in tow]
シャロン	Boys, I do not want you going over to Mr. Jefferson's anymore. Do you understand?
スタン	You don't have to tell us twice, Mom. That guy's a freak!
カートマン	Not go to Mr. Jefferson's anymore? Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat, hairy balls! [Stan, Kyle, and Sharon are shocked]
	The stakeout at Jefferson house, day. The two officers are snoring, but Yates is roused by the sound of a voice.
マイケル	Come on, Blanket!
イェーツ	Hey Har- Har- Harris! Harris!
ハリス	[walks] Wha- wha- what?
イェーツ	It's Jefferson! He's back! [gets on his communicator] All right, people. Let's give Blacky a nice welcome home.
	He and Harris whip out firearms and aim. Mr. Jefferson opens the front door and goes back to the front lawn to retrieve his wooden sword.
イェーツ	Whoa, wait a minute! [withdraws his gun] That guy isn't black!
	Blanket heads down the steps, and Mr. Jefferson takes him inside.
イェーツ	Holy God, his son isn't black either! Oh Jesus! [gets on his communicator] This is Yates! Stand down! I repeat, stand down! Suspect is not black!
	Yates scolds Harris.
イェーツ	You son of a bitch, you told my this guy was African-American!
ハリス	It says right here on the final sheet he is!
イェーツ	[shoves Harris's face against the windshield] Does that look like a black guy to you?!
ハリス	It said on the final sheet!
イェーツ	[throws a fit] Jesus Christ Monkeyballs! We could have made an innocent man go to jail who wasn't black! Oh!
	He grabs his own neck, then quickly opens his door and vomits onto the street.
イェーツ	Wuuugh! Wuugh! Ohaugh. Ugh.
	Yates wipes his lips clean with the back of his hand and now looks exhausted.
イェーツ	Jesus, Harris. What are we becoming? We're supposed to... protect the people. Where have we lost our way?
ハリス	Sir, it's possible that he is black, even though he doesn't look it.
イェーツ	[whips around and says menacingly] To hell with you! I'm never gonna frame an innocent man again! Unless I know he's black for sure!
	Inside the house, Mr. Jefferson closes all the windows and curtains.
マイケル	All the adults are trying to get us. Get up to your room, Blanket, and put your mask on! We can't go outside anymore!
	Moments later, Blanket is in his room looking outside. Across the street, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny walk by. Kyle looks up and notices Blanket looking bored..
カイル	[stops] That poor kid.
スタン	Dude, come on. We're not supposed to go over there.
	Kyle crosses the street anyway and Kenny shrugs. Stan and Kenny follow/
ブランケット	[opens his windows as they approach] Hi guys!
カイル	Hey Blanket. Uh, look, we're goin' over to help my dad chop wood. You... wanna come with?
ブランケット	Really? You mean it?
マイケル	[interrupts, clapping] Oh yay, my friends are here! Come inside and play, guys!
スタン	Ah, actually, Mr. Jefferson, we were seeing if Blanket wanted to chop wood with us.
マイケル	Chop wood? No, that's ignorant. That's poopie work. Blanket and me wanna play!
スタン	Mr. Jefferson, uh, it might be good for Blanket to learn how to chop wood.
マイケル	Blanket likes to play, don't you Blanket? [picks him up and moves him around through the open window] Wee, look! He can fly!
カイル	[the boys fear for Blanket's life] Jesus Christ, dude!
ブランケット	Aaaaaah! [Mr. Jefferson dangles him around by his left foot]
スタン	Stop, you fucking lunatic! [Mr. Jefferson's moustache falls off and down to the ground, he pulls Blanket back inside and closes the window]
カイル	Dude, we have got to get that kid away from him!
	Blanket's room. He's crying on a giant plush teddy bear. Mr. Jefferson tries to soothe him.
マイケル	No, Blanket, shhhh. Stop crying. It's okay, Blanket. Here, look.
	Michael spins around and does a pelvic thrust.
マイケル	Jeekabee durtah! [a kick and outstretched arm] Ow!
	Blanket returns to crying into his teddy bear, Mr. Jefferson goes to soothe him again.
マイケル	There, Blanket, shhhh. [tries to distract Blanket] Hey, hey look, hey look.
	Michael touches Blanket's nose and has his thumb pop out between index and middle finger.
マイケル	I got your nose. [does it again.] Look! Lookit, I got your nose. I got your nose, Blanket. See?
	Does it again, and Blanket is quiet. He then smiles and grabs at his father's nose, giggling... and finds it in his hand.
ブランケット	Aaaaaaaah! [throws it away and runs out of his bedroom]
マイケル	No, Blanket, stop!
	picks up his nose, puts it back in place, and pursues Blanket.
マイケル	It's ignorant. You're being ignorant!
	Yates' house, later. He enters. A woman appears moments later.
マギー	Harrison, why haven't you called? You know how I worry.
イェーツ	I'm givin' up, Maggie. I'm quitting the force.
	Yatesremoves his jacket, and places it on a coat rack, then walks to a desk.
マギー	Quitting the force? You?
イェーツ	None of it makes sense anymore. [sits down and unloads his frustrations] I don't even know if what we're doing is right. The last thirteen hours we've been working on a case, trying to get a real scumbag off the streets. And when he walked up to the door, I could have sworn he was white. Maybe I can't tell the difference anymore. Maybe it doesn't matter. Because it seems like every time we frame a rich black guy, he's back out on the streets in no time. It's just like OJ. Do you know how hard those cops worked to frame him? The tireless hours they put in?! And then he just gets off because somebody messed up and said the N word out loud too many times. I guess I'm just tired. I'm just damn tired.
マギー	[approaches and consoles him] Not another word of that kind of talk, Harrison Yates. [he looks up at her] Believe me I would love nothin' more than to have you quit the force and no longer have to worry about whether or not you're comin' home. But I know you. Framin' rich black men for crimes they didn't commit is in your blood. Wiping that rich, smug smile off their faces is the only thing that puts a smile on yours. You're a good cop, Harrison Yates. You don't have to question that. Because I'm here to tell you. [she caresses him, he kisses her hand]
イェーツ	And you're a good wife, Maggie. You know me better than I know myself. [abruptly rises and goes to the coat rack]
マギー	Where're you goin'?
イェーツ	Think I've got a little more work to do. [puts on his coat and heads outside]
	The Jefferson house, night. Cartman walks up to the door and knocks.
カートマン	Mr. Jefferson? It's your best friend in the whole wide world, Eric Cartman. Mr. Jefferson? I came to sleep over tonight, remember?
	Mr. Jefferson room. He's on the phone with someone.
マイケル	No, Dr. Nelson, I'm telling you, you have to fly out here right now! My nose came off again!
	Michael tosses his nose away, puts more lipstick on his lips.
マイケル	I know you live in California; I'll pay for your plane ticket!
	Michael pulls at his hair, and some of it comes off.
マイケル	But I'm falling apart! I need some more of that cream and the injections! I have to look young again!
	Michael picks up a stylus and pokes his lips, which pop and let fly some collagen. The skin on his lower jaw drops down and reveals some teeth.
マイケル	Oh, I'm melting!
	The Jefferson house, outside. A ladder is propped up against the side of the house. Kyle, Stan, and another boy approach. The boy wears the same mask Blanket usually does.
カイル	All right. Thanks a lot for helping us, dude.
ケニー	Yeah, sure, whatever.
スタン	You just gotta pretend you're Blanket until we can get the real Blanket somewhere safe.
ケニー	Aren't I too big to be Blanket?
カイル	[seething as he climbs the ladder] I don't think Mr. Jefferson pays enough attention to his son to notice. Come on! [Stan and Kenny follow]
	Blanket's bedroom. Blanket silently cries and the door creaks open.
スタン	Blanket, you in here?
ブランケット	[excited] Hi guys!
	Stan, Kyle, and Kenny spread out and hop onto Blanket's bed.
カイル	Shh, Blanket, we're gonna take you away for a little while, okay? [Kenny looks around]
ブランケット	You are? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
	Kyle whisks Blanket away, Stan motions Kenny into place.
スタン	All right dude, get in his bed.
ケニー	[gets under the covers] All right, but you guys owe me for this.
スタン	Dude, whatever. At least you finally get to do something. [hops off and leaves]
	Santa Barbara Police Department, Snetzl's desk. His phone rings and he picks it up.
スネッツォル	Santa Barbara Police Department, this is Snetzl.
	Park County Police Department, Yates' desk.
イェーツ	Hello, this is Sergeant Yates over at the Park County Police Department in Colorado.
スネッツォル	Yes, sergeant. What can I do for you?
イェーツ	Well, we've been trying to frame this guy who just moved into our town, and the fil-o-fax says he moved from your area. One Martin Jefferson?
スネッツォル	Hm. No, we never had any rich African-Americans named Jefferson here. If we had, we would have framed him ourselves.
イェーツ	Well, he doesn't really look that black.
スネッツォル	Yeah, I don't, uh... Hold on a second. There was one we framed a couple of times, but the black bastard was so rich he made bail and disappeared before the trial.
イェーツ	You say he disappeared? What did you frame him for?
スネッツォル	We, uhhh, found some kids that had stayed over at his place, and we asked them to lie and make up some false molestation charges.
イェーツ	Molestation, nice.
スネッツォル	Yeah, it was a lot of work. Took years, but we were finally able to arrest him. Then we planted some evidence, took embarrassing photos of his penis, and threw him in a dirty prison cell with feces on the walls. You should have seen him squirm!
イェーツ	That's damn fine police work, sergeant. Damn fine.
スネッツォル	Heh, yeah, but the point is this guy didn't really look black either. We had to sneak in while he was asleep and get a DNA sample to be sure.
イェーツ	[rises from his chair. Other officers draw near] Jesus Christ Monkeyballs! It must be the same guy!
	The Jefferson house. Cartman knocks on the front door again.
カートマン	Mr. Jefferson, hello?!
	The bathroom. Stan, Kyle, and Blanket prepare a carry-on bag.
カイル	Come on, Blanket! We gotta go before your dad sees us.
	They turn towards the window next to the tub and head to it. Michael appears behind them.
マイケル	What are you doing with my Blanket?
	The boys freeze. Kyle turns around and sees a disjointed, disheveled Jefferson in a Thriller outfit. The camera does a vertigo effect. Michael walks up to the boys.
マイケル	Come on, Blanket, play with me. Jeechabee durtah! Hee! [an outstretched arm]
Stan, Kyle, Blanket	Haaaaa!
スタン	Go, go, ruuun! [the boys run out of the bathroom]
ミスター・ジェファーソン	[whispers as he walks] Sutah!
	The Hallway. The boys run towards the stairs.
スタン、カイル、ブランケット	Haaaaa!
マイケル	[rounds a corner onto the hallway] Wuchatennah! Jamonah! Heehee!
スタン	[The boys enter Blanket's room] Oh Jesus!
ケニー	What the hell is going on, you guys?
マイケル	[enters and heads for Blanket's bed] My Blanket! Let's play, Blanket! [pulls Kenny out of the bed]
ケニー	Nonono wait, I'm not Blanket!
マイケル	[tossing Kenny up into the air] Wee, he can fly! He can fly!
ケニー	Aaaah! Aaaah, stop! A-
	Kenny's head goes through the ceiling and blood runs down his body. It begins to drip from his feet.
スタン	Oh my God, he killed Kenny!
カイル	You bastard!
	Michael turns around and sees the boys.
マイケル	Blanket? Blanket! Come play! [slowly approaches the boys]
ブランケット	Nooo! [Stan turns to leave]
カイル	[grabs Blanket's hand and leaves as well] Come on!
	The Jefferson house, front lawn. Kyle opens the front door and the boys exit.
スタン	Run, Blanket, Run!
ブランケット	[stumbles] Ah!
マイケル	[exits] Dainduh! Dainduh Dainduh!
カイル	[Kyle and Stan help Blanket up] Hang on, Blanket!
	The three run off and a floodlight turns on, blinding Michael.
ミスター・ジェファーソン	[shielding his eyes] Dugh! Heehee! Ja-!
イェーツ	[through his bullhorn] Freeze, Jefferson! The gig is up! You are wanted for child mo-les-tation!
カートマン	[hops to Mr. Jefferson's defense, standing in front of him] No! I am sick and tired of people harassing Mr. Jefferson! [a crowd, including the boys' parents, gathers] All I've been hearing since Mr. Jefferson moved here are sick lies! That he molests children, that he's a bad father, that he has plastic surgery!
マイケル	It's ignorant.
	His lower jaw literally drops to the ground. He bends down, picks it up, and pops it back in place.
カートマン	Sure, maybe Mr. Jefferson's a little different. But that's because he had to work all the time when he was young and missed out on his childhood. What's wrong with wanting to have the innocence and beauty of a child?
カイル	[returns with Blanket] All right, let's just say all the bad things said about Mr. Jefferson are lies! Let's say the police department does just go around spending their time framing people for crimes they didn't commit! Let's say it's all made up, and Mr. Jefferson is just a nice guy who's trying to be a child because he never got to have a childhood. Well that's fine, except for that he HAS children now! And when people have children, they have to grow up!
マイケル	[closeup for a few seconds] You're right. I've been so obsessed with my childhood that I've forgotten about his. I thought having lots of rides and toys was enough, but... Blanket doesn't need a playmate. He needs a father, and a normal life. Chickuckoo gainuh. [genuflects behind Blanket] Blanket, I wanna give away all my money. I- I wanna get a normal job and... take a shot at raising you in a normal setting.
	Blanket removes the ornate mask, and Blanket blinks while shielding his eyes. Blanket moves over to his friends.
ブランケット	Look everybody! I'm a normal little boy.
イェーツ	[approaches with Harris] Well, if you're gonna give away all your money, then, I guess we can drop all those charges. No point in putting another poor black man in jail.
カイル	All right! Things just might work out!
マイケル	Things can always work out, as long as we know we have the power to change.
	Music begins to play as the neighbors and officers gather around him.
マイケル	We all have the power to change if we search inside our hearts And we start to heal the wounds of all our yesterdays And you know it might be hard, but all you've got to do is start, And you can change all of your evil molesting ways. Jejabee durtah! Hee-hee! OOOOH! Jejabee durtah! Hee-hee! Jamonah! butcha-tamonah! Chich-cha!
The Jeffersons終了