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The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers "The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers/台本" "The Death Camp of Tolerance/台本" "The Biggest Douche in the Universe/台本" The Biggest Douche in the Universe

キャスト[]

台本[]

The Death Camp of Tolerance
Principal Victoria's office, day. Her door opens.
ギャリソン先生
[enters with Mr. Hat on his hand] You wanted to see me, Principal Victoria?
ヴィクトリア校長
Yes, Mr. Garrison. Have a seat. [Mr. Garrison takes a seat] Mr. Garrison, sometime ago you asked to be promoted from teaching kindergarten back to the third grade.
ギャリソン先生
[flatly] I'm aware of that.
ヴィクトリア校長
I wanna come clean with you and tell you that back then some of us were uncomfortable with your sexual preferences. It was wrong of us, and I want to make it up to you.
ギャリソン先生
Wow, that's... really great to hear.
ヴィクトリア校長
As you know, the position of Fourth Grade teacher has become available, and we'd like to offer YOU the job.
ギャリソン先生
[brightens] Oh, for real? You're not kidding?
ヴィクトリア校長
We in administration see now that you are an individual with your own preferences, and we respect that.
ギャリソン先生
[rises from the chair with excitement] Oh, this is all just... this is a dream come true! [shakes her hand] Thank you, Principal Victoria! I'll do a great job!
ヴィクトリア校長
I know you will. [Garrison turns around and walks away smiling]
ギャリソン先生
[turns around] You're sure this is for real? I mean, I'm not gonna just get fired again for being gay tomorrow.
ヴィクトリア校長
[slight chuckle] It's for real, Mr. Garrison.
ギャリソン先生
[slight chuckle, turns around and walks out the door] Oh-ho, great!
ヴィクトリア校長
With all the new laws we could never fire you for being gay now. You'd be able to sue us for millions of dollars.
ギャリソン先生
Right uh- [stops in his tracks at the door's entrance, his smile turns to wonder. He turns around] Wha- ...what was that?
ヴィクトリア校長
Well, I was just saying that the policies have really changed. You know, we fire you for acting gay next time, you'd be able to sue the school district for ...lots of money.
ギャリソン先生
...Oh right, right, right, I... Huh-... how much money, exactly?
ヴィクトリア校長
[busy doing paperwork] Oh. Well, there was the case out in Minnesota where the guy was awarded... 25 million, I think.
ギャリソン先生
Yeh-you don't say. [strokes his chin] Well thanks, uh, Principal Victoria. [walks out and closes the door] Holy Moly! I've gotta find a way to get fired for being gay!
South Park Elementary.
マッケイ先生
M'kay kids, I know the past few weeks have been really hard with the death of your teacher, Ms. Choksondik. [the kids erupt in laughter]
カイル
Funny.
マッケイ先生
BUT... the principal has finally hired a teacher to take her place. So I want you all to give your best behavior to your new Fourth Grade teacher, Mr. Garrison. [the door opens and Garrison enters]
子供たち
AWWWW!!!
カイル
Not him!
ギャリソン先生
Thank you, Mr. Mackey.
マッケイ先生
[walks toward the door] Good luck, m'kay.
ギャリソン先生
Okay, children, now for those of you who are new, my name is [writes on the board] Mr. Garrison.
バターズ
Where is Mr. Hat, sir?
ギャリソン先生
Well, I was informed that fourth graders are a little too old for Mr. Hat.
カイル
[rolls his eyes] Two-year-olds are too old for Mr. Hat.
ギャリソン先生
But it's okay because I found a new teacher's assistant. Say hello to... [the door opens again] Mr. Slave. [a strapping man enters. He wears a pink shirt, pale blue jeans; black leather vest, chaps and boots; police hat, strong jaw and mustache, and pouty lips]
スレイブ君
[preens] Hi kids. Hm.
ギャリソン先生
So that's [writes on the board] Mr. Slave. [Mr. Slave poses] The teacher's assistant. [Mr Slave smooths his mustache, then his hat] Or, as I like to write for short, the Teacher's Ass.
スレイブ君
[throws his arms forward] Oh Jesus Christ.
ギャリソン先生
Okay, Mr. Slave. Go sit until I need you. [Mr. Slave goes to sit down. Garrison spanks him as he passes by]
スレイブ君
Ugh.
カートマン
[leans towards Craig, who pays attention] Dude, I think that Mr. Slave guy might by a... [glances back] Pakistani.
ギャリソン先生
I'm not saying the rest of the school year is going to be easy. In fact, it's going to be long and hard. [does motions for both words - the palms facing each other and pulling apart, then two fists] Really long and really hard. [emphasizes the motions]
スレイブ君
[at a small teacher's desk reading a magazine] Oh Jesus Christ.
ギャリソン先生
[gleefully] Eheh, the first thing we're gonna be learning about is communist Russia. [erases the name on the board and begins writing the topic, starting with an S]
カートマン
[begins making a paper plane involuntarily] No, Kenny. What are you doing, Kenny?
ギャリソン先生
[finishes writing "STALIN"] Now, Stalin was a big silly when it came to...
カートマン
[finishes the plane and aims it at Mr. Garrison] Kenny, no! Don't do it, Kenny! [fires the plane off. It hits the board and falls away]
ギャリソン先生
[turns around and points] Eric, did you just throw a paper airplane?!
カートマン
No, it was Kenny!
ギャリソン先生
[arms akimbo] Very funny, Eric! Kenny's dead!
スタン
[coming to Cartman's defense] Yeah, but Cartman drank Kenny's remains, and now Kenny's soul is trapped in Cartman's body.
その他の子供たち
Yeah.
ギャリソン先生
That does it! I will not put up with foolishness in my class! It's time for punishment! [reaches into his desk and pulls out a paddle, then strikes it against his left palm twice. He walks over to Mr. Slave and has him bend over] Take it Mr. Slave! [swats him three times on the ass]
スレイブ君
[moves his head around] Oh-oh. Oh it hurts.
ギャリソン先生
I will [swat] NOT put up with [swat] TOM foolery in my [swat] CLASS room, children. [stands him up and straps a gag ball around Mr. Slave's face] Mr. Slave, put this rubber ball in your mouth. [bends Mr. Slave over his lap and swats him some more] Take that, Slavey! take it! [the kids look on, stunned. Mr. Garrison continues the swats] This'll get me fired for sure. [smiles]
The Marsh house, afternoon. The Tweaks, the Stotches, the Marshes, the Broflovskis, and Liane are present in the living room, seated around the coffee table.
ジェラルド
I really enjoyed the imagery in the last chapter of this month's book.
リンダ
Yes, and I really saw the entire book thematically as a take on corporate America.
ランディ
Well I think in the fourth chapter, when uh Nancy Drew discovers the bloody glove in the cheerleader's locker, well that uh that was just a brilliantly written passage. [Sharon sips some coffee, a door opens]
ジェラルド
So full of metaphor.
カイル
Hey guys, can we talk to you? [with him are Stan, Cartman, Butters, and Tweek]
シーラ
Oh, hi boys.
シャロン
How was school?
カイル
Uhh, not cool.
シーラ
That's great. We're having our book of the month club meeting, so why don't you boys go outside and play?
リンダ
Was it me, or did you all think that Nancy Drew solved the riddle of Elephant Mountain a little too easily? [a burst of chatter follows]
スタン
No, no, he said not cool. We got our new teacher today; it's, it's Mr. Garrison, our old third grade teacher.
スティーブン
Uh huh.
カイル
Well, he has this new teacher's assistant, and uh and they're both... totally gay.
シーラ
Kyle! You know better than to discriminate against homosexuals!
スタン
Yeah but, these guys are really super-gay.
ランディ
[displeased] Aw I'm surprised at you, Stanley. I really thought you knew how to accept people for who they were.
スタン
Yeah, but Dad-
ランディ
No buts, Stanley! We're not raising our kids to be discriminators!
シーラ
That's right! I think it's time you kids took a little trip to the Museum of Tolerance! [Gerald crosses his arms. The kids look at each other]
Museum of Tolerance, next day. A really modern building with a fountain by the entrance. The five boys and their parents arrive at the museum.
案内係
[a woman greeting the families inside the museum] Welcome to the Museum of Tolerance. Here we try to educate you on the dynamics of racism and prejudice in America. [Cartman yawns loudly. Liane smacks him across the back of his head]
カートマン
Ey!
案内係
[leads them through the museum] Now, did you know that words we use can show intolerance? [leads the group to a tunnel entrance] Let's begin our tour with a walk through our Tunnel of Prejudice, to show you what it can feel like to be discriminated against. [motions for the boys to enter, and the boys enter]
音声
[the words it says appear on the walls of the tunnel as it says them, then disappear] QUEER. BEANER. CHINK. N*****. HEEB. F*****. CRACKER. SLOPE. [the boys are suitably shocked as they move along the tunnel's people mover, but Cartman is grinning from ear to ear]
カートマン
Aw man, this is awesome! ["JAP"]
案内係
[at the other end of the tunnel with the parents] Now you know how it feels.
カートマン
[excited, runs up to the guide] I wanna ride again! I wanna ride again!
案内係
[leads them into the Hall of Stereotypes] We are now entering the Hall of Stereotypes. These wax figures represent how some intolerant people have labeled minorities. [leads them to the first exhibit] Here we see a black person eating chicken and watermelon, a stereotype that hurts the African-American community. What other stereotypes do you see here? [the stereotypes are exhibits, each one with its own spotlight]
ランディ
[walks up to another exhibit with Stan and Kyle] Ah, here's the Arab as a terrorist. [the Arab is holding a Kalashnikov rifle]
案内係
That's right. But of course, we know that not all Arabs are terrorists, don't we, kids?
バターズ
[sees a third exhibit] W-w-well there's an Asian over there with a calculator. [walks over to it. The others follow]
案内係
That's right. Not all stereotypes are negative. But even a positive one like "All Asians are good at math" is harmful to society.
カートマン
[over at a fourth exhibit, a man cowering over a bag of money] Look, a covetous Jew!
案内係
[arrives with the others] Very good, young man. The idea that Jews are only interested in money is very old indeed.
ランディ
[notices a fifth spotlight and walks to it] Ah, here's a good one. [Stan walks up next to him] It's the stereotypical "sleepy Mexican." [a man sleeps under the spotlight sitting up next to a mop and bucket]
用務員
[wakes up] Wai-what? Oh man, what time is it? [stands up and rubs the back of his neck]
ランディ
[in a low voice] Oh I'm sorry. I thought you were a wax sculpture.
用務員
Naw, man. I'm the janitor. I'm s'pose to be cleaning but I'm so tired. Ongh, so sleepy. [walks off with the mop and bucket]
案内係
[leads them into the Tolerance Discovery Lab] This is our discovery wing. Take your time at the computer displays [they measure tolerance I.Q.], because you see, being tolerant you must also learn to respect people who are small, people who are disabled, even people who are overweight, [moves her arms towards Cartman] like this young man here.
カートマン
Ey!
案内係
You other boys have probably called this young man names like "tubby," or "lardbutt," or "fat tits,"...
カイル
"Fat tits." That's a good one.
スタン
Yeah, I have to remember that.
案内係
But you must learn to be tolerant of his differences as well. If he chooses to eat fatty foods, that's his life choice.
カートマン
[strokes his chin and tries something out] I'm not fat, I have a different life choice.
案内係
And we won't belittle you for eating lots of cookies and cakes and pies.
カートマン
Duhuhude, tolerance kicks ass! [the adults chuckle]
ランディ
That's our Cartman. [Cartman grins]
Museum of Tolerance, outside.
案内係
Well, that's the end of our tour.
ランディ
Now do you see why tolerance is so important, boys?
スタン
I guess.
案内係
We have to accept people for who they are and what they like to do. [notices someone nearby] Hey! What the hell are you doing? [it's a man smoking on the edge of the fountain]
喫煙者
Oh I was just uh-
案内係
There's no smoking in the museum!
喫煙者
But I'm not in the museum.
案内係
Get out of here, you filthy smoker! [the smoker rises and walks off]
ジェラルド
Yeah, dirty lungs!
シャロン
Go ahead and kill yourself, stupid tar-breath!
スティーブン
Dumbass!
リチャード
Get out of here! [the smoker walks out of view]
案内係
Well, have a great day, everybody.
スティーブン
Now you boys can go and give your teacher and assistant the respect they deserve. Right?
少年たち
Yeah.
South Park Elementary, day, Garrison's class. Mr. Garrison enters, having previously set up a chemistry experiment on the teacher's desk.
ギャリソン先生
Okay, children, let's take our seats. Uh, apparently, none of you tried to get me fired yesterday, so I guess we're just gonna have to go on and learn more today. [sits on a corner of the desk] Now who can tells me what happens to water when we heat it up in the Bunsen burner?
バターズ
It evaporates.
ギャリソン先生
Good, Butters. Now if we take the glass tube of the Bunsen burner, we can also see how other things react. [takes the tube in hand and walks over to Mr. Slave] Evaporation is an exothermic reaction, so let's look at an endothermic one. Mr. Slave, position 7 please. [Mr. Slave looks up from his magazine, then assumes the position over his little desk and lowers his pants enough to show his ass] Now I'm gonna put the glass tube under Mr. Slave's tight ass. [steps backwards and inserts the tube. Mr. Slave starts to moan] The heat from Mr. Slave's ass will act as our new conductor of energy.
スレイブ君
AAH.
ギャリソン先生
Okay, now Butters, could you bring over Lemmiwinks for me please?
バターズ
Sure. [smiles and goes to get Lemmiwinks]
スタン
[sensing what's about to happen] Oh, no, no, no no no no.
ギャリソン先生
[gets Lemmiwinks from Butters] Newton was the first to discover that for every action there's a reaction - thank you Butters. Now what do you think is gonna happen when I introduce the element of the gerbil to the endothermic heat of Mr. Slave's ass? [the kids are all aghast] Well let's see. [lifts up the Bunsen tube and sends the gerbil on its way down]
スレイブ君
AAH. [the gerbil enters Mr. Slave's lower intestine and comes across the skeleton of another gerbil. It turns back immediately and runs for the anal opening. Mr. Garrison pulls the tube out and the sphincter snaps shut, trapping the gerbil inside. It tries to claw its way out] AAH. [moves his head around] Dude! Jesus Christ! AAH!
バターズ
[realizing what just happened] Lemmiwinks? NO!
South Park Elementary, lunch time. The kids go for their lunches.
シェフ
Hello there, children!
少年たち
Hey Chef.
シェフ
How's it goin'?
カイル
Bad.
シェフ
Why bad?
スタン
Chef, we're intolerant. [beat]
シェフ
...Intolerant of who?
カイル
Gays, I guess.
シェフ
Now why do you wanna go be intolerant of gay people, children? [arms akimbo] I thought you knew better.
スタン
Well we didn't think we were, but Mr. Garrison has this new assistant, and we're really uncomfortable around them.
シェフ
Children, a lot of times the reason people get uncomfortable around gay people is that they have some issues themselves. You have to ask yourself, "What is it about their behavior that, for some reason, makes me uncomfortable?"
カイル
Well, I guess it's mostly the way Mr. Garrison stuck a gerbil up Mr. Slave's ass.
シェフ
Right. And you see, children, that's why you need to- Whoa! What?!
スタン
Are we homophobes now?
カイル
We don't wanna be gay bashers, Chef.
シェフ
Children, there's a BIG difference between gay people and Mr. Garrison! Do you understand that??
スタン
N-no?
シェフ
You children just take your lunches. I'm gonna have a talk with the principal.
カートマン
I'll take three lunches today, please.
シェフ
You don't need three lunches, Eric! You're fat enough as it is!
カートマン
It is my life choice, Chef, and if you don't tolerate it I'll report you to the SEC. [Chef is puzzled]
Fourth Grade classroom. The chemistry equipment has been cleared away from the teacher's desk. Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave are in the classroom.
ギャリソン先生
That was a brilliant idea, having me put a gerbil up your ass, Mr. Slave. [laughs] Now we'll get fired for sure!
スレイブ君
[nonchalantly] Well it wasn't the first small animal I put up my ass.
ヴィクトリア校長
[over the P.A. system] Mr. Garrison to the principal's office, please?
ギャリソン先生
That's it! They're gonna fire me for being gay! Twenty-five million here we cooome. [shimmies out the door]
スレイブ君
Don't forget, I get half. Oooooh! [feels the gerbil try again to claw its way out of his ass] Oooooh, Jesus Christ. [scratches his ass. The gerbil runs one way, then back to the sphincter. A specter appears and stops the gerbil in its tracks. It's a Frog King. The two stand motionless for a few seconds]
カエルの王
Lemmiwinks, you must find a way out of this place, or you will surely die. [the gerbil just stands there] This way has been closed off by the Great Sphincter. To escape you must journey upward to the dark reaches of the intestine and past the stomach. [the gerbil says nothing] Who am I? Just a friend. Heed my words, Lemmiwinks. Your time is running out. Make for the large intestine. All will be made clear then. [disappears. The gerbil turns around, scratches its chin, and begins its journey]
歌手

A great adventure is waiting for you ahead.
Hurry onward, Lemmiwinks, or you will soon be dead.
The journey before you may be long and filled with woe
But you must escape the gay man's ass so your tale can be told.
Lemmiwinks. Lehehemiwinks Lemmiwinks Lemmiwinks-

The principal's office, a few moments later. Mr. Garrison hums as he nears the office door. He enters and stands beside an angry Chef, who has crossed his arms.
ギャリソン先生
You wanted to see me, Principal Victoria?
ヴィクトリア校長
Oh yes, uh, Mr. Garrison, have a seat.
ギャリソン先生
[nudges Chef] Oh dear, sounds like I'm gettin' fired. [hums some more and takes a seat]
ヴィクトリア校長
Mr. Garrison, Chef has brought it to my attention that some uh students are a bit... uuuncomfortable about certain aspects of your teaching methods.
ギャリソン先生
[in anticipation, gets melodramatic] Oh no, you're firing me? Oh well, I can't stop being who I am. I can't help the way God made me. Guess I just have to go.
ヴィクトリア校長
No no no we're not firing you.
ギャリソン先生
...You're not?
ヴィクトリア校長
No, we're sending Chef to a tolerance seminar.
シェフ
[steps forward] Sending Chef to a tolerance seminar?! You've got to be fuckin' crazy!!
ヴィクトリア校長
You demonstrate a lack of tolerance for Mr. Garrison's behavior. In fact, I believe you used the words "sick queer" to describe his conduct in class?
シェフ
He IS a sick queer!!
ギャリソン先生
Yeah!
ヴィクトリア校長
I just wanted to give you an opportunity to apologize to Mr. Garrison before I send you away, Chef.
シェフ
Kiss my black ass!! [Mr. Garrison is surprised]
South Park Elementary, Counselor Mackey's office.
マッケイ先生
Parents, I had to call you in here because your boys have refused to attend class with their homosexual teachers, m'kay?
スタン
We're not staying in class another minute with those queermos!
ランディ
Well I really thought you boys learned something in the Museum of Tolerance, but apparently all you learned was new words to call your poor teachers!
バターズ
[still distraught] But they killed Lemmiwinks!
スティーブン
Shut your mouth, Butters! You'll speak when spoken to!
バターズ
Yes sir.
スティーブン
Mr. Mackey, we've done everything we can to raise compassionate children. We don't know where else to turn.
マッケイ先生
Well there is an intensive seminar camp. It's a bit severe, but it might be the only way. M'kay?
シャロン
That sounds good to me.
リアン
Me too.
シーラ
Then it's settled. Boys, you're going to tolerance camp.
スタン
Tolerance camp?
Devitzen's Tolerance Camp, black-and-white footage, day. A truck pulls up to the entrance and two guards open the gates. Beyond, kids mill around under the watchful eyes of other guards. A few moments later a guard paces in front of a crowd of kids.
監視員
[sternly] Welcome to tolerance camp. You are here because you would not accept people's differences. [a shot of the kids shows that Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Butters were not the only kids to refuse attending Garrison's class] Because you refuse to accept the life choices of your fellow man. Well those days are now over. Here you vill verk, every hour of every day until you submit to being tolerant of everybody. Here, intolerance... will not be tolerated.
South Park Elementary, Garrison's classroom. Mr. Slave is reading his magazine. A few moments later Mr. Garrison storms into the room and slams the door shut.
ギャリソン先生
God-damnit!
スレイブ君
How'd it go?
ギャリソン先生
This is unbelievable, Mr. Slave! It seems no matter what I do I can't get fired!
スレイブ君
The principal didn't fire you?
ギャリソン先生
No! The parents felt so bad that their kids didn't want to attend my class anymore that they wanna give me the Courageous Teacher award this Friday at the Museum of Tolerance!
スレイブ君
Oh, Jesus Christ.
ギャリソン先生
I mean, I stuck a gerbil up your ass and they wanna give me a Goddamn medal!
スレイブ君
Well it sounds to me like the principal's just hiding things from everybody. What you need to do is let the parents see what kind of demented f***** you are.
ギャリソン先生
Oh well- [stops and thinks] Hey, that's right, Mr. Slave. [paces a bit] The parents have to see for themselves. [snaps his fingers] The awards ceremony! Well we'll put on a show they'll never forget!
スレイブ君
Oohoohoohoo, Jesus Christ. [rubs his belly, and the camera zooms in, cutting to the intestine. Lemmiwinks walks along, and a guitar is heard]
歌手

Lemmiwinks journeyed a distance far and fast.
To find his way out of a gay man's ass.
The road ahead is filled with danger and fright
But push onward, Lemmiwinks, with all of your might.

カエルの王
[appears again before Lemmiwinks] Lemmiwinks, you are coming to the entrance of the small intestine. There you must seek out the Sparrow Prince. [disappears. Lemmiwinks walks up the large intestine, going back and forth. Eventually it sees the Sparrow Prince and stops]
歌手

The Sparrow Prince lies somewhere way up ahead.
Don't look back, Lemmiwinks, or you'll soon be dead.
Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, the time is growing late.
Slow down now and seal your fate.

ツバメの王子
I am the Sparrow Prince. Long has my spirit been trapped within this place. Before you lies the maze of the small intestine. One path leads to the stomach, the other to certain doom. Take with you this helmet and torch. [they appear and float toward Lemmiwinks] Let them be your guide. [Lemmiwinks puts it on and continues its journey]
歌手

Take the magic helmet torch to help you light the way.
There's still a lot of ground to cross inside the man so gay.
Ahead of you lies adventure, and your strength still lies within.
Freedom from the Ass of Doom is the treasure you will win.

Devitzen's Tolerance Camp, black-and-white footage, day. The kids are in a large room the size of an airport hangar. All of them have been doing arts and crafts, as they are dirty with crayons and paint. Each column of tables is being patrolled by a guard.
監視員
Today we will be using the fingerpaint! You vill make a painting that shows people of different races and sexual orientations getting along. Fingerpaint. Fingerpaint! [the kids get busy fingerpainting] You vill not make any distinction between people of different colors! People with different sexual preferences! You vill accept everyone! [stops behind Kyle's right shoulder and swoops down to look at his paper] What are you fingerpainting?!
カイル
Uh, a bear?
監視員
Ein bear?! Und bear has nothing to do with accepting people of different races!
カイル
[trembling in fear] Eh I, I don't know what else to paint.
監視員
[takes Kyle's paper and rips it up] Start over! [puts his hand on the stack of papers next to Kyle] You will fingerpaint what we tell you! [takes a sheet from the stack and slams it down in front of Kyle] GO! [Kyle starts on a new picture] Faster. [the guard switches to the left shoulder without breaking his stare] Faster! [switches back to the right shoulder and cocks a pistol against Kyle's head] Faasterr.
カイル
Aaaa! [hurries to finish the painting]
監視員
Faster! Are you done?! What is it?! What have you done?! [Kyle adds some broad strokes and lifts up the finished work]
カイル
[trembling] People of all colors and creeds holding hands beneath a rainbow!
監視員
GOOD! [snatches the paper from Kyle's hand] That wasn't so hard, was it? [rips it up and tosses it away] NOW DO IT AGAIN! [walks off slowly] Faster! [the kids work faster] Faasterr!
South Park Elementary, Garrison's classroom. Mr. Garrison talks to Mr. Slave. There are no kids in class, as they've all gone to tolerance camp, apparently.
ギャリソン先生
There! I've done it, Mr. Slave. The perfect plan to get us fired. You finished your costume design yet?
スレイブ君
[scribbling on a notepad] Almost. I just have to get through a su- [grabs his stomach] Uh-huc, Jesus Christ.
ギャリソン先生
What's the matter?
スレイブ君
Mm, Just a bit of an upset stomach, I guess.
ギャリソン先生
Well here, take a Pepto pill. I can't have my teacher's ass under the weather. [hands Mr. Slave a glass of water and a pill]
スレイブ君
Eugh, Jesus Christ. [takes the pill and swallows it. The camera follows the pill down the esophagus toward the stomach. The pill lands in the pool of acid in the stomach. Lemmiwinks pops up from the pool]
歌手
Lemmiwinks came to the stomach dark.

'Neath the depths of the lungs and heart.

ナママズ
You chose your path wisely, Lemmiwinks. I am the Catatafish.
歌手
Catatafish of the stomach's cove.
ナママズ
If you answer this riddle, the esophagus will let you pass.
歌手
Catatafish's riddle will soon be told.
Devitzen's Tolerance Camp, black-and-white footage, day. The kids are now in a different room quietly making macaroni pictures on the floor, but they are all fatigued. The guard walks up to a soldier on a catwalk and talks with him.
監視員
Everything in order?
キャンプ職員
Yes, mein Führer. Ve are making the prisoners make macaroni pictures that illustrate diversity in the verkplace.
監視員
[looks at a paper with two people shaking hands and with "DIVERSITY" written above them] Eh-xcellent! [down below the kids continue with their pictures.]
カイル
[Suddenly falls on his face] Oh.
スタン
Kyle. [helps him up and tries to rouse him] Kyle, you have to keep making your macaroni pictures.
カイル
[limply] Can't... glue... any... more. [falls on his face again]
スタン
The guards are coming, Kyle. Glue. Glue, damn you!
監視員
Take this one away. He is done for. [a soldier drags a boys body along the floor]
スタン
Butters!
バターズ
No more... arts and crafts...
スタン
Jesus... we have to get out of here. [other kids are passed out, some on their backs, some on their stomachs]
Devitzen's Tolerance Camp, black-and-white footage, outside. The kids are at play. Cartman walks over to a Porto-Potty and enters, but stops. He looks down into the toilet and finds two girls there in the septic tank.
少女1
Please don't tell them that we're hiding here.
少女2
We can't work anymore or we'll die.
キャンプ職員
[walking by] Vhat? [closes the door and turns around] Waht?!
カートマン
Oh. Uh, nothing. I was just getting back to work.
キャンプ職員
Vhat is in there?
カートマン
Nothing.
キャンプ職員
Get back to verk.
カートマン
[salutes] Yes sir! [the guard walks away] Phew. [opens the door and steps inside, laughing. A few moments later he craps and starts laughing]
少女たち
Eww! Eww! Eww! [Cartman craps and laughs some more]
カートマン
[exits and alerts any available soldier] Hey, I was just kidding. There's actually two girls hiding down there. Hey! [goes to find a soldier]
Museum of Tolerance, Friday night. The main hall is set up for the awards ceremony and the guests are seated.
案内係
Tonight we are here to honor an amazing fourth grade teacher with the Courageous Teacher award. [applause] Herbert Garrison came out about two years ago. Since then he has faced adversity. He has even faced ridicule by some of the students.
シャロン
Oh Randy, I'm so ashamed of our son.
案内係
It is my honor to present the Courageous Teacher award to... Herbert Garrison. [applause. She moves off as Garrison enters riding on Mr. Slave, humming a song. Mr. Garrison wears a towering headdress while Mr. Slave is dressed as a horse. Mr. Slave stops]
ギャリソン先生
Get along, little Slave.
ランディ
Oh my God.
ジェラルド
That's what our boys were talking about?
ギャリソン先生
[rings some small bells] Ding-ding, ding-ding.
男性1
[sitting next to Principal Victoria] He is so courageous.
ギャリソン先生
[now at the podium, with Mr. Slave standing to his right. He's wearing a purple belt with shiny purple dildo hanging from it] Say, Mr. Slave.
スレイブ君
Yes, Mr. Garrison?
ギャリソン先生
I had a dream last night that you were a real dick.
スレイブ君
Really? Why would you dream that I was being an asshole?
ギャリソン先生
No no, I was the asshole. [a moment of silence, and more applause]
男性2
[brown hair and mustache] Ogh, that is so courageous.
男性3
[gray hair] What an amazing human being! [Randy and Gerald look at each other in shock]
ギャリソン先生
Uh, I uh I'm very happy to get this award. Uh but you know what makes me even happier? Sucking balls.
聴衆
Ahh [applause]
ギャリソン先生
[frustrated, to Mr. Slave] It isn't working. Sing your song, Mr. Slave.
スレイブ君
I've got a little- Oof. [grabs his stomach] Ohoc, Jesus Christ. What's happening in there?
Inside Mr. Slave's stomach at that moment, Lemmiwinks has been put into a gyroscope and is ready to be shot up the esophagus and out the mouth.
カエルの王
Hang on, Lemmiwinks! You solved the Catatafish's riddle. Now your trials are nearly through!
Outside Mr. Slave's stomach, onstage.
スレイブ君
Oh! I should have never shoved all those poor animals up my ass! [a few moments of thought, and then more applause]
ギャリソン先生
Uh...
男性4
[black hair] Courageous.
男性5
[behind him, brown hair] So courageous.
ギャリソン先生
[frustrated and finally letting loose] God-damnit, don't you people get it?! I'm trying to get fired here! [the applause dies down]
男性3
[softly] Oh, that's courageous.
ギャリソン先生
Look, this kind of behavior should not be acceptable from a teacher!
スレイブ君
Yeah, Jesus Christ.
男性6
But the mu-se-um tells us to be to-le-rant.
男性3
[stands up and raises his arms] Yes. The mu-se-um.
男性7
[stands up and raises his arms] The mu-se-um tells us.
ギャリソン先生
Tolerant, but not stupid! Look, just because you have to tolerate something doesn't mean you have to approve of it! If you had to like it, it'd be called the Museum of Acceptance! [the audience looks on] "Tolerate" means you're just putting up with it! You tolerate a crying child sitting next to you on the airplane or, or you tolerate a bad cold. It can still piss you off! Jesus Tapdancing Christ!
ランディ
He's right. Our boys didn't hate homosexuals, they just hated the way this asshole was acting.
ジェラルド
We've gotta get our boys back! [gets up and rushes out]
ギャリソン先生
[relieved] Ogh! So now can I PLEASE get fired and get my 25 million dollars?!
ヴィクトリア校長
No, no, I think I have a better idea.
Devitzen's Tolerance Camp, Saturday, day. The boys' parents are at the front gate. Black-and-white fades into color, and Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Butters are present. They are quite thin, clearly undernourished, and their clothes fit loose on them.
ランディ
We're sorry, boys. Why didn't you tell us your teachers were acting so over-the-top?
シーラ
Yes. You boys don't know how much we suffered. [a close-up of the boys shows that Butters is the thinnest of them]
スティーブン
Come on, let's go. [the boys and their parents head away from the gate. As they go, Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave are brought in by Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey. Two soldiers have them under gunpoint]
ギャリソン先生
But this is insane!
ヴィクトリア校長
I'm sorry Mr. Garrison, but it's obvious you aren't tolerant of your own behavior.
監視員
[arrives] Vhat do we have here? Noo recruits? I assure you, the next veek will be nothing but pain and suffering! [pounds his right fist into his left palm]
スレイブ君
Oooo, this could be kind of fun. [convulses all of a sudden, goes down on hands and knees, and coughs up the gerbil]
歌手
Lemmiwinks has made it out and his tale is nearly through.

[the three spirits he met in Mr. Slave's body now appear before him]

ナママズ
Great job, Lemmiwinks.
ツバメの王子
Thanks to you we are all free.
カエルの王
[draws close to Lemmiwinks] But your adventures are just beginning, for you are no ordinary gerbil, Lemmiwinks. You are the Gerbil King. [places a crown on its head, then backs up to join the other two animal spirits]
3つの霊魂
All hail the Gerbil King. [they disappear]
歌手

Now that you're the Gerbil King there's more ventures to go on
Fly away to faraway lands and to the setting sun
There's still so many enemies and battles yet to fight
For Lemmiwinks the Gerbil King could be told a thousand nights
Lemmi- Lemmi- Lemmiwinks. Le- Lemmiwiiinks.
Lehhmiwinks, Lem- Lem- Lemmiwinks
Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Leh-miwinks
Leh-miwinks, Gerbil King.]

The Death Camp of Tolerance終了


  614: "The Death Camp of Tolerance"
エピソードの要素

受け入れキャンプ差別の歴史博物館差別の歴史博物館の案内係スレイブ君レミウィンクス • "The Ballad of Lemmiwinks"

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発行物

South Park: The Complete Sixth Season

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