キャスト[]
画像/名前 | ||
---|---|---|
アレックス・ハート (プロデューサー) |
エリック・カートマン |
カイル・ブロフロフスキー |
クレイグ・タッカー |
サド・ジャーヴィス |
シャロン・マーシュ |
ジェイ・カトラー |
ジミー・ヴァルマー |
スタン・マーシュ |
チャールズ・キンケイド (マネージャー) |
トールキン・ブラック |
トム・シェーン |
バターズ・ストッチ |
ブレット(店員) |
ミック |
ランディ・マーシュ |
竜 (ヘロインヒーローのキャラクター) |
- 年上の少年:Older Boy
- 年下の少年:Younger Boy
- 飲食店の男性利用客:Male Diner
- パーティの招待客:Guest at Party
台本[]
Guitar Queer-O | |
Stan's house, day. In the living room, Stan and Kyle stand before the TV with guitar controllers in their hands. Nine boys from class watch them from the sofa and the floor. A game starts up. Stan and Kyle immediately begin to play and the other boys begin to cheer them on. The song playing is "Wayward Son" | |
Stan, you guys are good! [Stan and Kyle more their right arms around during a power chord, then quickly return to playing. The score is 15,594 points and climbs quickly. Randy watches from the kitchen doorway] | |
The kitchen. Sharon is washing dishes. Randy turns and walks towards her. | |
[sounding tired] Sharon, what are the boys doing? | |
Oh, Stan and Kyle bought a new video game together. | |
They can play guitar now? | |
No, no, they're just little plastic controllers. You hit the colored buttons and it makes the guitar track on the gameplay. | |
Ohhh. | |
If they spent half the time learning a real instrument as they do playing that game, who knows what they could accomplish. | |
Hey yeah... | |
The living room. The round ends and the boys cheer. | |
Dude, listen to that video crowd! They love us! [a shot of the cheering CG crowd on the TV] | |
[walks up to Stan] So you boys like this music, huh? | |
Yeah, dude. Its Guitar Hero. | |
Stan and Kyle are really good at it. | |
Well, you kids wanna see something really cool? [the boys pay attention] Check this out. [walks away and picks up an electric guitar, and plugs in the amplifier. He puts his right foot on top of the amplifier and begins to play "Wayward Son" a half-step up.]
Once, I rose above the noise and confusion, | |
[irritated, interrupting] Dad? Dad! What are you doing?! | |
[brightly] I can actually play a lot of these songs on a real guitar. You want me to teach you boys how? | |
Uhh, that's gay, Mr. Marsh. | |
Yeah, that's stupid, Dad. | |
But... But this is real. | |
Real guitars are for old people. | |
Do you mind, sir? We wanna watch Stan and Kyle play. [Randy stands there a few seconds, disappointed that the boys aren't interested. He takes off the guitar, leans it against the amplifier, and walks away.] | |
[turns back to the TV] Alright, let's try to score 60,000 points this time. [the game starts up with a new song, and the boys behind them begin to cheer again] | |
Stan's house, night. Once everyone's asleep, Randy sneaks downstairs towards the couch. He looks around to make sure no one else is awake and waiting for him. He reaches the couch and picks up a controller, playing it a bit to start the game. | |
Are you ready to rock? ["Wayward Son" begins to play from the top, and Randy begins to move, slowly raising his right hand into a victory sign, then swinging his arm all the way around a few times] | |
[the first guitar solo follows and Randy is playing terribly. The video crowd begins to boo him.] | |
Game over! You suck! [the words are displayed onscreen. Randy takes off the controller, sets it on the ground, and walks back to bed, leaving the TV on with the video crowd still booing him.] | |
Stan's house, next day. The boys are back at Stan's house watching another round of Guitar Hero. "Wayward Son" gives way to another song. | |
They're gonna do it! | |
[so relaxed his fat blocks his chin from view] Come on, guys, a hundred thousand points! | |
Cartman, shut up. We're concentrating. [the points pile up and they near 100,000. After a final flourish, their readouts combine into one, showing 100,000 points. The boys congratulate Stan and Kyle] | |
You have broken a hundred thousand points! You. Are. Rock stars! | |
Dude, we are total rock stars now! | |
[walks in with beer and slurred speech] You're not rock stars! This is just a stupid plastic controller! [the doorbell rings] | |
[takes off his controller and goes to answer the door] Hang on. | |
Stan Marsh? | |
Yeah? | |
I'm Charles Kincade, from the Kincade Talent Agency? I just heard you broke a hundred thousand points on Guitar Hero. | |
Yeah, we did. [smiles] | |
Well, I'm impressed. [steps inside and gives him a business card] And I'd like to be your manager. | |
Wow, really?? [smiles an open smile] Dude! Dude, Kyle, this guy wants to be our manager! | |
No way! | |
For reals? [smiles] | |
Scoring a hundred thousand points is amazing, but I think with the right label behind you, you guys could make a million points. | |
That'd be awesome! | |
So, we're in business then? [Stan and Kyle look at each other, then grin as "Wayward Son" plays] | |
A producer's office, day. Mr. Kincade is snapping his fingers to "Wayward Son" as a producer listens. Stan and Kyle watch him, then Stan looks at Kyle. Kyle grimaces. | |
Well, what do you think? | |
I like it. That's these boys playing? | |
[stops the tape] No, that's Kansas. But these boys scored a hundred thousand points to it on Expert Level in Co-op Mode. | |
That's pretty Goddamned impressive. [rises and serves himself a drink] Alright, we'll sign them to a one-year deal. [Stan and Kyle smile to this news as Mr. Kincade stands behind them] | |
[pumps his fist] Yes! You did it, boys. | |
Listen, boys, I'm having a huge celebrity party at my giant mansion tonight. Why don't you come by as my honorary new artists? | |
Cool! [smile openly] | |
The producer's mansion, night. Limos pull into the circular driveway in front of the mansion, drop off guests, and pull away. Inside is a large crowd of local celebrities. In the pool, two topless women splash each other with water and giggle. One blond celebrity is snorting a mountain of coke | |
Wow, this is a huge party. | |
Oh yes, all the biggest stars in Colorado are here. | |
Dude, dude, that's Ron Zappolo from Channel 4 News! [Ron Zappolo is shown - an elderly gent with gray hair and mustache] | |
Wow! Oh, and look over there, that's that Jake Jabs guy from American Furniture Warehouse commercials. [Jabs is shown with a white tiger on his lap and two women around him] | |
Everyone? Everyone, this is Stan and Kyle. They just broke a hundred thousand points on Guitar Hero. [ooo's and applause follow. Stan and Kyle grin] Please enjoy yourselves, there's lots more coke and sex in the house. | |
Dude! Dude, that's Jay Cutler over there! [a football player wearing #6 is shown] Quarterback for the Denver Broncos! | |
Oh my God! | |
Would you boys like to meet him? | |
Are you serious?? | |
Jay, I want you to meet Stan and Kyle. They broke a hundred thousand points on Guitar Hero. | |
Wow, really? Nice to meet you guys. | |
Nice to meet you! [grins] I mean, you kind of suck, but my dad says you might be good someday. | |
[a bit bothered] Thanks... | |
Alex, have you seen my wife anywhere? | |
You boys know Tom Shane from the Shane Company Diamond Store commercials? | |
Do we? He's a legend! | |
You remember these boys, Tom. They're gonna break a million points live at the video arcade in a few weeks. | |
That, would be impressive. | |
[takes Stan aside] Dude, we've arrived. We're super, awesome, and cool. | |
Yeah. Life is finally going to not suck so hard for us. | |
Stan's house, day. Mr. Kincade rocks out on the couch watching Stan and Kyle play Guitar Hero. The boys hit 152,626 points | |
You Rock! | |
[clapping] All right, nice rehearsal, boys. | |
D-ude, I totally miffed that middle part. Did you see that? | |
Yeah dude, that's almost impossible. | |
That was real cool, kids. Hey, Kyle, there's a different controller in my car that might work better for you. Why don't you go with Jim and he'll help you find it. [an assistant dressed in a jogging outfit joins him behind Kyle] | |
Oh, okay. Cool. [takes off his controller and follows Jim out] | |
[sighs] You've got real potential, kid. I have no doubt you can break a million. | |
Really? That'd be sweet. | |
[turns around and points to Stan] I think you could. But uh, as for your friend, well, to be honest, I think he's holding you back. | |
What, you mean, Kyle? | |
Look, you score a lot higher than him; there's no question who the better one is. I wanna put you with some other players, find a partner for you who can really help you max your score. | |
But, Kyle and I always play together. We both chipped in for the game system. | |
[crosses his arms] Very honorable. But you know where loyalty gets you in a game like Guitar Hero? Nowhere. Just listen to that video crowd. [a shot of the video crowd cheering] I haven't heard a video crowd go that wild in a long time. You've got a chance to score a million points, and I hate to see you throw it away because you're worried about your friend's feelings. | |
Café Monet, day. Mr. Kincade and Stan are outside at a table sipping coffee. | |
You're gonna love this kid, Stan. He's one of the best Guitar Hero players I've ever seen. Except for you, of course. [sees someone] Ah, Thad! [a boy about Stan's age approaches the table and takes a seat. He wears a controller on his back] Stan Marsh, this is Thad Jarvis. | |
Sup? [an air of superiority is suggested by his tilting his head back] | |
That here has backed up a lot of really great Guitar Hero players. Isn't that right, Thad? [puffs on a cigar] | |
Yup. | |
He doesn't even need a game system to play on. He can play Guitar Hero acoustically. | |
Yeah, but can he play Buckethead on Expert Level? | |
Go ahead, Thad. Show him what you can do. [Thad stands on his chair, swings his controller around, and puts his right foot on the table.] Check this out. [All that is heard are the clicks of plastic on plastic] Pretty damn good, huh? | |
Yeah, that's pretty good. But can you play "John the Fisherman"? [Thad stops and launches into that song] | |
Stan, with this kid backing you, you're gonna make Guitar Hero history. | |
Ohoh, I love this song. [the other diners seem to understand the song the clicks are supposed to be making and begin to clap] | |
Stan's house, later. Guitar Hero starts up and the boys are gathered near the couch watching Stan and... Thad. A song comes on and Stan and Thad begin to play. The boys cheer them on as the score nears 500,000 | |
Wow wee, look at him go! | |
[enters the house] Hey dude, how's it-? [he has his new controller, but he's dismayed at what he sees. The boys look at him and the game is shut off] | |
...Kyle. ...I, I thought you were sick. | |
[into his hands, in a low hoarse voice.] Uh ohhh... | |
[walks up to Stan] Who is this? | |
This is um, Thad Jarvis. | |
Sup? | |
Ahem, wha? What's going on, Stan? | |
Kyle, I was gonna tell you later. Mr. Kincade thinks I should play with Thad for a while. | |
But it's our game. We bought it together. | |
I know, and, and I wanna be fair about it, so, I'll buy you out of your part. | |
Buy me out?! What are you saying?! What makes you so high and mighty you can buy me out?! | |
Don't put this all on me, Kyle! | |
Oh my God this is so awesome. | |
You were the one that's been blowing off playing after midnight, not playing 'cause you were sick,- | |
I have been sick! | |
Look, the point is I'm never gonna break a million points playing with you! You know that's true! | |
[stunned for a few seconds] I guess I didn't realize it was just about the points. [drops his controller next to Stan and walks out of the house, closing the door behind him] | |
Dude, this game rules. | |
Let's just do this, all right? [a new round begins and Stan and Thad resume playing] | |
EV Games. Guitar Hero advertising is plastered all over the windows. Stan enters the store. He walks over to the magazine rack and begins browsing | |
Hey! You're the kid I sold the Guitar Hero game to. How are you likin' it? | |
It's okay, I guess. But I need some game guides for it. My manager and producer set up this live thing at the video arcade where I'm supposed to break a million in front of everybody and I'm I'm stressing out. | |
Yeah, Guitar Hero can be pretty stressful. But you know, maybe instead of a game guide, you should just buy another game to kind of ...ease the stress. | |
[approaches the counter with a Guitar Hero game guide] Huh? | |
Have you ever heard of... [pulls out a different game from under the counter] Heroin Hero? | |
Hero-Heroin Hero? | |
It's a way easier game. All you do is run around a magical forest and shoot simulated heroin. You could call it the ultimate first-person shooter. | |
And there's no score? No crowds? | |
[his voice gets soft and mellow as he speaks] No man. All you do is run through the pretty forest and chase a big dragon. But you don't ever catch the dragon. You just... keep chasing it. | |
Stan's house, day. He's playing Heroin Hero, which just consists of his character shooting heroin into his right arm. Each shot moves him forward a few steps, but he's no closer to the dragon. | |
Chase me. Come on. This way. Shoot up and then you can catch me. Come on. | |
[playing quietly] Dude, this is awesome. | |
Gamecraft Arcade, day. Stan and Thad are at the arcade version of Guitar Hero; Stan is showing frustration. The song they're playing to is "I Wanna Be Sedated". Mr. Kincade watches them as the producer approaches | |
How are they coming? | |
No worries, Mr. Hart. They'll be ready for the big show in a few days | |
They'd better be. I paid good money to rent this place out. [walks away. On the game screen, Stan's character is missing his notes and flailing about] | |
Ugh. Damnit. | |
Dude, sup. Did you practice last night? | |
[frustrated] Yeah, I practiced last night! Just shut up and play! [misses some more notes] No no, you know what?! Screw this! [the music stops] I'm not playing this song! Why did you pick this stupid song?! | |
Stan, it's the song we all agreed you would play. | |
Yeah? Well, I changed my mind! We're changing the song to Cheap Trick! | |
No way. I hate that bubblegum crap. | |
Yeah? Well you're not the leader, are you, Thad?! We play the music I wanna play! | |
Stan, why are you so grumpy-grouchy? | |
We're playing what I want, and I'll select a different song! | |
Yeah? Well, how about this one? I quit. [drops his controller] I quit, I quit, I quit. [turns around and walks away] I quit, I quit, I quit. I quit, I quit, I quit. | |
You know what? That's great with me, Thad, 'cause I don't need you to break a million points! I never did! | |
Stan, what is the matter with you? | |
I just wanna play alone, alright?! I can't concentrate with all these assholes riding me all the time! [Mr. Kincaid notices that Stan's tote bag is open and looks inside. He pulls out Heroin Hero] | |
What is this? | |
Man... | |
Are you playing Heroin Hero? | |
Just, just a little. | |
No! [stands up] Nobody plays Heroin Hero "a little"! You know, you never catch the dragon! | |
I know, but it mellows me out, okay?! | |
You'd better pull your act together because now you're gonna have to break a million points and unlock superstardom solo! | |
No problem. | |
A bowling alley, day. The exterior is a bit run-down, with strips of plastic pulling away from the roof. A sign by the street has "WE HAVE GUITAR HERO" on it, the R falling off. "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" plays. Inside, some people are bowling while others sit at tables being depressed. The camera rests on Kyle playing along on his guitar controller. Two kids walk up to Kyle. The place is called Mick's Lanes | |
Hey, beat it, kid! We wanna play now! | |
I'm not done yet. | |
Hey, I know you. You're Kyle Broflovski. Didn't you used to have your own Guitar Hero game system? | |
No. You're thinking of somebody else. | |
Yeah, sure. He's the kid that scored a hundred thousand points! | |
How come you're playing here now? | |
Look, just go ahead and play, alright? [gets off the stool and walks away] Leave me alone. [walks up to the bar and takes a seat] Can I get a Fresca, please? | |
You're good at that game, Kid. Too good to be playing in a dump like this. | |
Yeah well, I can't really afford to play anymore anyway. I'm about out of quarters. | |
Well look, maybe I can use some extra music playing to this thing on weekend nights. You come in, work around here a little, and... maybe you can play it for free. | |
I appreciate what you're trying to do, Mick, but I ain't a charity case yet. | |
Ehhh, charity case eh, I'm just trying to help out a kid who's a little... down on his luck is all. | |
Thanks, Mick. | |
Heroin Hero, onscreen at Stan's house, day. | |
Catch me. Come on, catch me. [Stan is passed out on the couch with snacks all around him. Some knocks and the doorbell are heard, but Stan doesn't move] What's wrong? Follow me. Come on. [The door opens and Mr. Kincade comes in] | |
Marsh? Stan, you got- [notices Stan passed out] Oh my God! [runs over to him and shakes him hard] Get up, Stan! Wake up! | |
Huh? What, uh? | |
You're going on in ten minutes! Everybody's coming to see you! | |
The dragon. Where did it go? | |
[slaps Stan twice across the face] You've gotta pull it together! [shakes him hard again, then sees a glass of water nearby and throws the water at him, them shakes him hard again] Pull it together, Goddammit! | |
Gamecraft Arcade, night. The boys are there waiting for Stan to start playing. A couple stands behind them waiting as well. | |
Thank you for coming to Gamecraft Arcade to watch Stan Marsh break a million points and unlock superstardom. [the boys cheer Stan on.] | |
Go Stan! | |
All right, Stan, you've got it, man! | |
Yeah, Stan! | |
Dude, what's the matter with him? | |
He's been up for three days straight playing Heroin Hero. [Stan staggers slowly] Come on, Stan! You got it! | |
Goddamnit, he's a mess! [Stan is moving around, but he's missing all the notes] | |
Oh man, I can't watch this. | |
What are you doing?! The video crowd is starting to boo! [a shot of the video crowd booing] | |
Come on guys. Let's get out of here. [the boys leave, as to the couples and other spectators, leaving Stan alone with Mr. Kincade. Mr. Hart approaches Mr. Kincade.] | |
The next time you bring me some talent, make sure they're talent-ed. [walks away. Stan stumbles and finally falls face first, throwing up] | |
You blew it! You had it all and you blew it! Listen to that video crowd! They hate you! [walks away. More shots of the video crowd booing. Stan looks at the crowd and begins seeing double] | |
EV Games, day. Brett the clerk is reading a magazine. Stan walks in, his head hanging real low, and walks to a game stand | |
There he is! So, did you break a million yet? | |
No, I didn't break a million points and unlock superstardom, all right? I'm done with that stupid game! | |
Aw, come on. Once you start playing Guitar Hero, you can't stop till you reach the top. | |
I just wanna find something else to play. | |
Have you played... [whips out a new game] Rehab Hero? You get chased by a big dragon, but you keep running away from it. | |
I just want a nice, simple... driving game. How about that? | |
Sssure kid. Sure. [brings out a Cross Country Cruiser game] | |
Stan's house, day. He's now playing Cross Country Cruiser. A radio is next to him, and in it, a song ends. | |
All right, that was the Splendifs. And now here's a hit you all remember. It's a song that two local fourth-grade boys scored a hundred thousand points to on Guitar Hero. [Stan is startled] Don't know whatever happened to those boys. I guess... they're not playing the game anymore. | |
"Wayward Son" begins to play and Stan gets immersed in the game. A shot of Stan and Kyle playing Guitar Hero floats by. | |
| |
Stan then steps on the brake, stopping his video car. He thinks hard about what to do next. After a few seconds, a look of determination shows up and he goes into reverse, looking back over his shoulder as if he were driving a real car. | |
Mick's Bowling Lanes, day. The sign now says: KILE BARFFLOSKI ON GUITAR HERO. Inside, Kyle is at the Guitar Hero setup playing along to another song. | |
[Stan walks in and approaches Kyle. Kyle sees him and turns his back to him] | |
Kyle, could I just talk to you for like five minutes? | |
What are you doing here? ["I paint a picture of the days gone by,"] | |
Please, it- it won't take long. | |
Goddamnit. We're gonna take a short break. Be back in five. ["When love went blind and you would make me see." Kyle walks over to the bar and serves himself some Fresca] | |
I was listening to you for a while. Dude, you've gotten a lot better. ["I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes"] | |
Oh, thank you! I was so eagerly awaiting your approval of my abilities! ["So that I knew you were there for me"] | |
Look, Kyle, the game is still set up at my house and, maybe we could go try playing it again over there. | |
Oh, so the gallant knight now comes to rescue me from the bowels of mediocrity! Oh, thank you, your royal lordship! ["Time after time you were there for me"] | |
That isn't it at all. ["Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand"] | |
You don't get it, Stan! I can play here all I want. I even get free Frescas. I don't need you anymore! ["Love letters in the sand - I remember you..."] | |
I know. I need you. [Kyle glances over his shoulder, then turns around to face Stan] I thought I was having a great time because I was getting signed by managers and, going to big sex and coke parties, but, then I realized, I was having fun because I was doing all that... [turns around and face Kyle] ...with my best friend. | |
It was pretty fun, wasn't it? | |
[awkwardly] Yeah. | |
Look, I doubt we could break a million together anyway. | |
I don't care. I'd just like to play with you again. For the fun of it. | |
I don't really see the fun in... [turns around with fire in his eyes] ...not trying to kick that game's ass once and for all! | |
What, you mean it? | |
I think we can do it, Stan. I've been close to a million a few times by myself. | |
[pats Kyle on the shoulder] Then let's go, dude! [walks forward. Kyle follows.] | |
[stops abruptly] Oh wait. Wait, I'm supposed to play here. [turns around and face Mick] Hey, Mick, w-would you mind if I stepped out for a sec? | |
Go on, get out of here, kid. Who needs your wailin' and rockin' around here anyways? | |
Thanks, Mick! [turns left and walks out. Stan follows him.] | |
Stan's house, day. Stan and Kyle walk up to Stan's house. Stan opens the door and they enter the living room | |
All right, dude, let's do this. [Kyle's jaw drops and Stan is annoyed] What the hell? [what greets them is Randy on the couch in his underwear. Around him are a pizza slice, a bucket of chicken, a case of S'mores Schnapps, and other items. Randy is playing Heroin Hero] | |
Ahhh, Ahhhhhhh... | |
Come on, come on. You almost got me. Catch me. Come on. | |
Aw, Goddammit! Dad, get off our Xbox! | |
Hang on, I almost caught the dragon. | |
Hehe, you almost caught me. | |
No, me and Kyle are gonna play Guitar Hero! | |
[sits up] I can get him! Wait! Where's he going now? | |
You don't ever catch the dragon, Dad! [turns off the console] | |
NOO! NOOO, I SAID! I AM YOUR FATHER! PUT IT BACK ON! | |
Mom, will you get Dad out of here? | |
The neighborhood park. Cartman, Kenny, Clyde, Craig, and Tolkien are playing basketball. Craig has the ball and shoots at the basket. The shot is good. | |
Stop cheating, Craig! [pushes Craig from behind] | |
How was that cheating! | |
'Cause you tricked me, you black asshole! | |
Fellas! Fellas! They're gonna do it! | |
What? | |
Stan and Kyle! They're about to break a million on Guitar Hero, and unlock superstardom! [Butters runs back. After some thought, the other boys run after him] | |
Oh, let's go! Come on, let's go! | |
Stan's house, day. Stan and Kyle are playing again. Kevin, Jimmy, and a third boy are already present. The other boys enter and jimmy makes room for them to see the action | |
They're gonna do it! [they finally break the million] | |
They did it! | |
Oh my sweet J-Jesus! | |
You have played Guitar Hero enough to reach one million points! Congratulations! You. Are. F***. [the video crowd cheers] | |
That's it? | |
Goddamnit... Goddamnit. [walks away pissed off. Stan takes off his controller and looks at it, drops it to the floor, and follows after Kyle] | |
Butters, you wanna play me next? [picks up Stan's controller and puts it on] | |
Heh, okay, but I get to be the one that betrays you after the sex and drug party. [picks up Kyle's controller and puts it on, and both of them get to playing.] | |
Guitar Queer-O終了 |
| |||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|
エピソードの要素 |
ギターヒーロー • ゲームクラフト・アーケード • サド・ジャーヴィス • ジェイ・カトラー • チャールズ・キンケイド • トム・シェイン • ビデオゲーム • ヘロインヒーロー • ミックのボーリング場 • ロン・ザッポロ • "Carry On Wayward Son" • "Cherry Pie" • "I Wanna Be Sedated" • "John the Fisherman" • "Jordan" • "Pretty Vacant" • "Surrender" • "I Remember You" • "Woman" | ||||
ナビゲーション | |||||
発行物 |
South Park: The Complete Eleventh Season |