Human Kite/Citations

Human Kite

Citations

Cette page répertorie toutes les citations notables exprimées par Human Kite dans South Park : L'Annale du destin.

Aperçu

Les citations de Human Kite tournent principalement autour de son personnage de super-héros, avec des plaisanteries liées aux cerfs-volants telles que les modèles de vent et le vol, ainsi que le tir au laser (conforme à son archétype Blaster).

Habituellement, il est très raisonnable, mais il se chamaille souvent avec Le Coon, par exemple pendant la chasse à l'homme après que les héros découvrent les parents du Le Nouveau sont retenus en otage par Mitch Conner.

Field/Story

• During Alternate Universes Collide
  • "Who the hell are you?"
  • "REALLY?! You sent a newbie to my distress call?! You're such a dick, Coon!"
• During The Hundred Hands of Chaos
  • "Oh no. Nonononono."
  • "It's Cartman's dumbass hand puppet."
  • "Shut up! It's not Mitch "stupid fucking" Conner!"
  • "Fuck this, I'm going to bed."
• During The Chaos Gambit
  • "Dude, aren't you supposed to infiltrate the Freedom Pals? Get going."
• During The Thin White Line, Jared spared
  • "It was right of you not to fart in his face after he told us what we needed to know. You're very forgiving."
• During The Thin White Line, Jared not spared
  • "Should we... do anything with the body?"
• During The Thin White Line, after fighting Jared
  • "I think we should probably forget this ever happened and definitely never talk about it."
• During To Catch a Coon
  • "Hit him again."
• During Farts of Future Past
  • "Get out of the way, you guys! We've got to stop Cartman before he starts all this!"
  • "WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!"
  • "We're ALL Freedom Pals! We're from the future, you fat turd."
  • "Cartman, I swear to god, if you don't knock it off I'm-"
  • "Admit it!"
  • "You ARE Mitch Conner! You always have BEEN Mitch Conner! And you better stop RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"
  • "I'm not making it up, dude."
  • "You fucking drop it... Fatass..."
  • "If I was just fucking with you... Then so was HE."
  • "Yeah, why?!"
• When using Fartkour
  • When appearing to the New Kid
    • "Ready?"
    • "Clear for takeoff!"
    • "Let's do this!"
  • After using Fartkour
    • "Man, my whole outfit reeks now. Thanks a lot."
    • "You're, uh, really good at that."
    • "Yes!"
    • "Alright, we made it!"
  • When standing on a high place after using Fartkour
    • "Man, we're really high up."
    • "I can see my house from here!"
    • "Kind of chilly up here, I wish my costumes had sleeves."
  • Fartkour failed
    • "Augh, dammit!"
    • "Dammit!"
    • "Crap!"
    • "Well, shit!"
    • "Oops, missed it. No big deal, let's try it again."
    • "I believe in you. Or at least your farts."
    • "Dang. Maybe close your eyes. I don't know."
    • "Jesus, come on, dude."
    • "Work with me, dude."
  • When using Fartkour Down next to Gerald Broflovski after completing For Nippopolis
    • "Yeah, that's my dad."
• Female New Kid idle
  • "There's nothing wrong with a boy being feminine, New Kid. Be true to yourself!"
• Attacked
  • "Not cool!"
  • "Butthole?"
  • "The fuck?"
• Farted on
  • "How about you NOT fart on me."
  • "Can you not?"
  • "Yeah, I get it. Farting for you is like tapping a button. It's amazing."
  • "Fucking gross, dude!"
  • "How many times have I farted on you? Zero!"

Battle

• Selected
  • "Let's go!"
  • "Human Kite!"
  • "Ready!"
• Battle start
  • "From the sky swoops justice!"
• Battle start, versus Bartles and healing
  • "Kite's got your back!"
• Battle start, The Invitation
  • "New Kid, why are there ninjas after you?!"
• Battle start, versus Shub-Niggurath
  • "We have to stop them!"
• Turn start
  • "Human Kite: ready to swoop!"
  • "Feel the wrath of...HUMAN KITE!"
  • "No mercy, guys!"
  • "Oh, I'm up? OK."
  • "It's Kite flying time!"
  • "All evil fears the lasers of kites."
  • "Time to fly!"
  • "Time to shoot the lasers."
  • "Swooping in on a breeze of justice!"
  • "It's about to smell like burning in here."
  • "It's gettin' windy in here!"
  • "Half-kite, half-man, all crime fighter!"
  • "Earth's mightiest kite!"
  • "Check your watch, crime: It's kite time."
  • "Human Kite cleared for takeoff!"
  • "Beware, evil! For from the sky comes a kite!"
  • "These updrafts have recharged my eye lasers! Human Kite is ready!"
  • "The wind brings it with justice: Human Kite is here!"
  • "Swooooop!"
  • "Forecast: 100% chance of Kite attack!"
  • "Kite power!"
  • "Who needs to get lasered?"
  • "Lasers, online!"
• Turn start, low health
  • "We've got to finish this..."
  • "Kinda hopin' we can wrap this up."
• Turn start, versus Buca de Faggoncini Cooks
  • "This kitchen is about to heat up!"
• Turn start, Alternate Universes Collide Again
  • "Leave my mom alone!"
  • "You guys can't fight my mom. She's gonna kick your ass!"
• New Kid turn start
  • "OK, let's see what you got, New Kid."
  • "Fuck 'em up, New Kid!"
  • "Give 'em hell, Douchebag."
  • "You're up, AssBlaster."
  • "You got this!"
• New Kid turn start, low health
  • "You don't look so hot, New Kid."
  • "Super Fart Kid isn't looking so super right now. Still farty, though."
• New Kid turn start, against Freedom Pals, Civil War
  • "New Kid's gonna kick your ass, Freedom Pals!"
• New Kid turn start, Alternate Universes Collide Again
  • "I can't watch."
• Idle
  • "Well, hard to go wrong with lasers..."
  • "Let's see... Barometric pressure one-oh-one-four... Slight updraft..."
  • "Let's see, who to burn, who to burn?"
  • "Sorry guys, got a lot to consider here."
  • "There's no time limit on turns, right?"
  • "Let's see. So many options."
• Ally idle
  • "When in doubt, punch something really hard."
  • "Feel free to go!"
  • "Please go. Seriously."
  • "Dude, are you still conscious?"
• Ally idle, versus Red Wine Drunk Randy
  • "Don't let him drink anymore!"
  • "This is way more of Stan's dad than I ever wanted to see."
• New Kid idle
  • "Don't overthink it, Butthole. Follow your heart."
• New Kid idle, Alternate Universes Collide
  • "Watch out, New Kid. Alternate Universe Human Kite is unpredictable and extremely dangerous."
  • "I'm telling you, New Kid - he's messing with powers beyond his control!"
• Toolshed idle
  • "It's totally Tool Time, dude. Do your thing."
  • "I was afraid this might happen... He's got too many tools to choose from!"
• Using Laser Burn
  • "Pew pew!"
• After using Laser Burn
  • "Hope you enjoyed your laser treatment. Your skin might be a little tender for a while."
  • "Now that's how you give the third degree."
  • "Staring contest! You lost!"
  • "You might feel intense burning."
  • "Welcome to laser town!"
  • "The best part of being a kite is the lasers."
  • "Warning: Do not look directly into my fucking laser eyes."
  • "Don't worry. Your eyebrows should grow back eventually."
  • "Yes!"
  • "Next time I'll use my high-beams."
  • "Turns out looks CAN kill, right guys?"
• First time using Jetstream
  • "Yeah, I call that one Jetstream. It's a heal. Pretty handy."
• Using Jetstream
  • "Heal up!"
  • "Galvanizing Gust!"
  • "you are safe with me."
  • "Enjoy!"
  • "Kite rescue, coming soon!"
  • "Take...this."
• After using Jetstream
  • "You deserve this, just enjoy it."
  • "Back in business!"
  • "Ride it, buddy!"
  • "Just relax and let me blow you back to health."
  • "I'm your knight in shining Mylar."
• First time using Kite Shield
  • "Galvanizing Gust - and now you have a damage-absorbing shield!"
• Using Kite Shield
  • "Got you covered!"
  • "You can count on me!"
  • "Never fear, Kite's here!"
  • "Here, dude!"
  • "I got you!"
  • "Thank me later!"
  • "Gotcha!"
• Using Kite Shield on Sheila Broflovski
  • "Lay off my mom!"
• After using Kite Shield
  • "Great, now I'm dizzy."
• Ultimate ready
  • "I forecast gentle breezes with a high chance of lasers and burning."
  • "Let's see, what would reduce these fools to cinders, oh I know, WRATH OF KITE."
  • "Feeling kind of wrathy right now, I won't lie!"
  • "Not sure if you know but hell hath no fury like WRATH OF KITE."
  • "I have a sudden urge to fly up to the stratosphere and just go nuclear on these pukes."
  • "Forecast is blustery with a big chance of WRATH OF KITE."
  • "Ready for liftoff!"
• Using Wrath of Kite
  • "Pew pew!"
  • "Activate: Wrath of Kite!"
  • "I'M...SO...ANGRY!"
  • "LASER DEATH!"
  • "Look at me, dudes, I'm ON FIRE!"
  • "My Wrath will pound you with pillars of flames!"
  • "Time to end this!"
  • "I'm high as a kite!"
  • "Laying down the lasers."
  • "Burn... BURN... BURNNNNN!"
  • "Look out below!"
  • "Laser coverage incoming!"
  • "This is gonna burn...a lot."
  • "Not gonna lie, this is really gonna hurt."
  • "This dude is on fire!"
• Using Wrath of Kite on Freedom Pals, Civil War, Civil War 2: Playtime's Over and The Thin White Line
  • "It's been fun, Freedom Pals, but now we have to say goodbye."
• After using Wrath of Kite
  • "I hope someone got that on video."
  • "That's a kiting."
  • "By the power vested in my laser eyes, I now pronounce you ON FIRE!"
• After using Wrath of Kite, enemies still active
  • "Whoa, people are still alive down here?"
• After ally attacking
  • "They totally deserved that."
  • "You show that bastard!"
• After Call Girl using Selfie Stick Strike
  • "That photo really paints a picture."
• After Call Girl using Phone Destroyer
  • "Thank goodness I'm on your friends list."
  • "A fate worse than death. Poor bastard."
• After Captain Diabetes using Coma Combo
  • "They're going to be sleeping that off for a while. In the hospital."
• After Captain Diabetes using Insulin Shock
  • "You fucked up pretty bad, Captain, but I think you inspired them a little, too."
  • "Next round of juice boxes is on me, Captain."
  • "Glad you're on my side."
• After The Coon using Coon Lunge or Coon Pounce
  • "Who knew something so fat could move so fast!"
  • "I wonder if they can make your action figure do that? Like some kind of spring-loaded action, maybe?"
• After Fastpass using Hit and Run
  • "Fastpass has no respect for the laws of physics."
  • "I blinked. Did you do something?"
• Targeted by Satanic Seal
  • "I definitely appreciate a nice breeze."
  • "I did need that."
• After Human Kite from an Alternate Universe using Didn't Count, Alternate Universes Collide
  • "That's some classic alternate-universe bullshit."
• After Mosquito using Bug Bite Barrage
  • "Well sucked, Mosquito!"
• After Mosquito using Zika Rush
  • "Careful, dude. We don't need the Center for Disease Control getting all up in our business."
  • "Did I just witness a war crime?"
• After Mosquito using Pandemic Pestilence
  • "Can someone get hives from just seeing something?"
  • "I think I'm allergic to everything that just happened."
  • "So how do you get all those bugs back in the jar, Mosquito?"
• After Mysterion using Dark Whisper
  • "OK, now you're giving me anxiety."
• After New Kid attacking
  • "New Kid, I like the way you punch."
  • "That's our Butthole!"
  • "Let 'em have it, New Kid!"
  • "You showed that bastard!"
• After New Kid using Backfire Blast
  • "There are times when I wonder, how much is too much, Butthole."
  • "I am glad that I am not on the other side of that ass cannon right now."
• After Professor Chaos using Hammer of Chaos
  • "Holy shit, dude! You're bringing your A game!"
• After Super Craig using Mega Fist Punch
  • "You punched that bastard into the next time zone!"
  • "Good aggression. Good aggression. Keep it up!"
• After Super Craig using Omega Crash Extra
  • "Now, that's using your head."
• After Toolshed using Drillslinger
  • "I think we just learned an important lesson in eye protection."
• After Toolshed using Spiral Power
  • "I bet it's harder to aim when the lasers aren't firing from your eyeballs."
  • "You know, you should learn how to twirl your drills. You know, add some pizzazz."
  • "They're probably going to need tetanus shots."
  • "What would happen in my eye lasers touched your drill lasers? Wanna cross streams?"
• After Toolshed using Full Bore
  • "Jesus, dude. That was kind of hard to watch."
• After Tupperware using Tupper Tornado
  • "Way to pick up the spare, Tupperware!"
  • "You sent them flying!"
• After Tupperware using Hot Swap
  • "Go get 'em, you mean machine."
• After Wonder Tweek using Supreme Lightning
  • "Anyone else taste ozone?"
• After Wonder Tweek using Icicle Strike
  • "You're a stone-cold killer, Wonder Tweek."
• After a Timefart Glitch
  • "Nice time-tinkering, Butthole!"
  • "You got SKIPPED!"
  • "Oh, sorry. Did you want that turn? Too bad."
• After a Timefart Pause, enemy knocked out
  • "Your farts kick ass, Butthole!"
  • "You fucking around with the time stream, Fartmaster?"
• After a Timefart Summon
  • "Nice ass-blast from the past, Fartlord."
  • "Cool time clone, Butthole."
  • "Hey, New Kid just farted up a doppelganger."
• Enemy defeated
  • "I like our odds!"
  • "Another enemy...grounded. I can get away with that, right?"
  • "Blew 'em away!"
  • "We sure showed them!"
  • "I'm high as a kite!"
• Enemy defeated, before joining Freedom Pals
  • "Coon and Friends Rules!"
• New Kid defeating enemy
  • "Way to go, Butthole!"
• Healing
  • "Back in business."
• Healing item on ally
  • "I got something you should shove in your mouth!"
  • "Action time!"
• After using healing item on self
  • "Oh, that tickles!"
  • "That was uplifting."
• Targeted by healing item
  • "That's just what I needed."
• Burning status cured
  • "Wow. You know when you're on fire, it's really hard to think about other things."
  • "My favorite part was when I stopped burning."
• Healed
  • "All right, I feel an updraft!"
  • "I really needed that."
  • "DO feel more pep in my step."
  • "I needed that."
  • "I feel a lot better now."
  • "Thanks, Usually I have to do all the healing!"
• Protected
  • "Oh yeah, I need this."
  • "That's the stuff."
  • "Thanks, dude!"
• Reviving
  • "Now soar, SOAR... Oh wait, you can't even fly."
  • "Let the Winds of Fate bear you to this world again!"
  • "A kite just saved your life."
• Revived
  • "The Human Kite takes to the sky once more!"
  • "I'm baaack! Shit, where'd that come from?"
• Attacked
  • "Kite hater!"
  • "My keel! God dammit, they hit me in my keel!!!"
  • "Kite resilience!"
  • "Crap!"
  • "Kite evasion powers: useless!"
  • "Dammit!"
  • "You are fucking with the wrong kite!"
  • "Super uncool!"
  • "Thank god for ripstop nylon!"
• Attacked, Alternate Universes Collide Again
  • "Better you hit me than my mom, you jerks!"
  • "Oww! I know who's gonna get laser burned next!"
  • "I'll remember that!"
• Targeted by Ground, The Chaos Gambit
  • "But you're not even my dad!"
  • "Come on!"
  • "Really!?"
  • "Man..."
• Targeted by Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme Missiles, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
  • "We have rocket impact in T-minus... uh...soon!"
• Attacked by The Coon, Alternate Universes Collide Again
  • "Screw you, Coon!"
• Ally attacked
  • "Hang in there! Help is swooping your way!"
  • "You'll pay for that! So swears the Human Kite!"
  • "Don't let crime get the upper hand!"
  • "Someone just made this kite's list."
• Ally attacked by Red Wine Drunk Randy
  • "He's totally out of his mind!"
  • "I think we underestimated the power of red wine."
• Mysterion attacked
  • "You OK, Mysterion?"
• New Kid attacked
  • "That's it, New Kid! Keep them distracted!"
  • "Fart Lord, don't you have any powers to help you dodge those?"
• Sheila Broflovski attacked, Alternate Universes Collide Again
  • "Hey, you better quit it right now!"
  • "DUDE, THAT'S MY MOM!"
  • "That's my mom, dick!"
• Toolshed attacked
  • "Toolshed!"
  • "The Human Kite will avenge you, Toolshed!"
• Defeated, Alternate Universes Collide Again
  • "This is super not cool, guys!"
• Defeated, final battle, Farts of Future Past
  • "Nooooo!"
• Mysterion defeated
  • "Mysterion is down! You bastard!"
• Toolshed defeated
  • "Toolshed, no!"
• Bleeding
  • "Soda water gets out blood stains, right? From nylon, too?"
  • "My precious bodily fluids!"
• Burning
  • "Oh crap! I'm on fire."
  • "I'm officially on fire over here, in the bad way."
  • "Great, I'm literally on fire."
• Charmed
  • "Huh... You guys seem kind of cool."
  • "Oh... I guess you guys aren't so bad. I'll join your team."
  • "Oh, I'm on a new team? That's cool."
  • "I guess I'm a bad guy now?"
• Mosquito Charmed, Mosquito in a Honey Pot
  • "Knock some sense into Mosquito, that'll snap him out of it!"
  • "Dammit, Clyde! I'm gonna knock some sense into you!"
• New Kid Charmed
  • "Butthole's joined the other team! You turncoat bastar- Oh, wait, he's just Charmed."
• Chilled
  • "I can't feel my face. It sucks."
  • "So...freezing. Human Kite...could really use a down jacket."
  • "You'd think with my laser eyes I could just look at myself to warm up, but... It doesn't work like that."
  • "You'd think Elementals like me would be immune to cold. Who made these dumb rules?"
• New Kid Chilled
  • "We've got a frozen Fart Lord over here!"
• Enemy Chilled
  • "Anyone else getting a case of the willies?"
• Confused
  • "Where... Where'd I leave my damn keys?"
  • "Did I leave the oven on? Have I ever even used an oven?"
• Enraged
  • "Damn you guys, I'm so pissed!"
  • "As something of a wrath expert, I'm about a 7.5 right now!"
  • "I'm super pissed at you guys right now!"
  • "Did I just hear you say something disparaging about kites?!"
• Ally Grossed Out
  • "If that gets on my shoes, I'm gonna be pissed."
• Shocked
  • "Look out, I'm electric!"
  • "Oh man, I've got static cling so bad right now!"
  • "I'm holding a charge! Damn my rubber-soled shoes!"
  • "Whoa, I think I could jump-start a car right now."
  • "Crap, I'm running around 220 volts right now, you definitely don't want to stand by me."
• New Kid Shocked
  • "New Kid's electrified. Clear out!"
• Slowed
  • "Human Kite is...awaiting more favorable wind patterns."
  • "Human Kite, usually so deft and spry, is moving slow."
  • "Oh man... How'd I get so heavy? I'm a kite for Christ's sake."
• New Kid Slowed
  • "New Kid... Are you going goth?"
• Victory
  • "This is the part where the bad guys regret their life choices."
• Victory, against Buca de Faggoncini Cooks, The Bowels of the Beast
  • "OK, see you guys later. We're gonna go do some real superhero shit."
• Victory, Rise of the Fourthies
  • "Man. We kicked some sixth grade ass!"
• Victory, Alternate Universes Collide Again
  • "Broflovskis rule!"
• Victory, against Chaos Minions first group, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
  • "Yeah! Team Chaos zero - Coon and Friends, like...like 50!"
• Dialogue
  • With Butters the Merciful and Thief Craig, self or ally idle, Farts of Future Past
    • Butters the Merciful: "How'd you fellas end up here in the past?"
      Human Kite: "The New Kid farted really bad and ripped a hole in time and space."
      Thief Craig: "Wow, you couldn't come up with anything better than that?"
  • With Call Girl, versus High Jew Elf Kyle, Farts of Future Past
    • Call Girl: "Wow, Past-Kyle had such a cool costume! What happened?"
      Human Kite: "Hey..."
  • With Call Girl, Call Girl using Blocked
    • Call Girl: "Pew, pew, pew, phone laser!"
      Human Kite: "H-hey, we already have a laser user on the team."
  • With Captain Diabetes, after self or ally attacking
    • Captain Diabetes: "Not even my podiatrist can save that villain."
      Human Kite: "Podiatrist? Is he like the Alfred to your Batman?"
  • With Captain Diabetes, after Captain Diabetes attacking
    • Captain Diabetes: "Oh, wow. You see what I just did, guys?"
      Human Kite: "Yes, Captain. We saw it."
  • With Captain Diabetes, after using Laser Burn
    • Captain Diabetes: "You're some marksman, Human Kite!"
      Human Kite: "Well, it's kind of hard to miss when you aim just by looking."
      Captain Diabetes: "Well, now that you put it that way, how could you ever miss?"
    • Captain Diabetes: "I'd love to hear more about that heat vision of yours, Human Kite."
      Human Kite: "Uh, sure. I can tell you all about it someday."
      Captain Diabetes: "Hear that, guys? Human Kite and Captain Diabetes are like best friends now!"
  • With Captain Diabetes, after Captain Diabetes using Coma Combo
    • Human Kite: "Thanks, Captain!"
      Captain Diabetes: ​"No problem, Human Kite! Maybe later we can hang out at the mall or something."
  • With Captain Diabetes, after Captain Diabetes using Insulin Shock
    • Human Kite: "Yes! Take the fight to them!"
      Captain Diabetes: "I will, valued ally!"
      Human Kite: "OK, calm down."
  • With Captain Diabetes, after New Kid using Backfire Blast
    • Captain Diabetes: "Burn in hell, villains!"
      Human Kite: "Jesus, Scott."
      Captain Diabetes: "Sorry, I got a little carried away."
  • With Captain Diabetes, attacked
    • Captain Diabetes: "I think they knocked your spars out of alignment, Human Kite."
      Human Kite: "I still feel pretty aligned, but thanks."
  • With Captain Diabetes, attacked by Captain Diabetes, Alternate Universes Collide Again
    • Captain Diabetes: "I hope that didn't hurt too badly, Human Kite!"
      Human Kite: "Well, it did!"
  • With Chaos Kids, battle start
    • Chaos Kid: "I'm not scared of nothing or nobody."
      Human Kite: "That's a double negative."
      Chaos Kid: "Exactly! CHAOS!"
  • With Chaos Kids, turn start
    • Human Kite: "Check your watch, crime: It's kite time."
      Chaos Kid: "Nobody wears watches anymore!"
  • With The Coon, battle start versus Buca de Faggoncini Cooks, The Bowels of the Beast
    • ​The Coon: "Stand back! The real superheroes are here now."
      Human Kite: "Yeah, us real superheroes are here to save the day."
  • With The Coon, the Coon turn start, The Coon in low health
    • The Coon: "You know, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one pulling his weight around here."
      Human Kite: "Well, to be fair-"
  • With The Coon and Super Craig, Super Craig turn start
    • ​Super Craig: "Who needs to get punched the most?"
      The Coon: "Probably Kyle."
      Human Kite: "Fuck off, Cartman!" / "Seriously, fuck you."
  • With The Coon, idle
    • ​Human Kite: "Just calculating some trajectories. I'll be ready in a sec."
      The Coon: "God, you're a nerd."
  • With The Coon, character other than The Coon idle
    • ​The Coon: "At moments like this, just think, "What would the Coon do?""
      Human Kite: "Probably something stupid."
  • With The Coon, after using Laser Burn
    • Human Kite: "Turns out looks CAN kill, right guys?"
      The Coon: "No! That is not a Coon and Friends-sanctioned quip, Kite!"
    • The Coon: "Those eye lasers set for defrost or something? Kick up the intensity, Human Kite!"
      Human Kite: "Worry about your own shit, Coon."
  • With The Coon, after using Jetstream on The Coon
    • ​The Coon: "Nice blow job, Human Kite."
      Human Kite: "Remind me to let you get K.O.-ed next time, asshole."
  • With The Coon, after using Laser Burn, Alternate Universes Collide Again
    • ​Human Kite: "Ready to quit yet?"
      The Coon: "Nah, I feel like we should see where this goes."
      Human Kite: "Dammit!"
    • Human Kite: "Hey, can you guys just give up before we get in more trouble?"
      The Coon: "Sorry bro. No can do."
  • With The Coon, after The Coon attacking
    • Human Kite: "Hey, Coon, nice of you to give a cosplay option to the plus-sized."
      The Coon: "Yeah, like for your fat bitch mom."
    • Human Kite: "Who know something fat could move so fast!"
      The Coon: "Fuck you, Kyle!"
  • With The Coon, attacked
    • ​The Coon: "Oh, do you want me to blow on your boo-boo, Kite?"
      Human Kite: "Don't anger your healer if you want to live, moron."
    • Human Kite: "Ow, this hurts worse than hemorrhoids."
      The Coon: "Suck it, up, Kyle! Jesus!"
  • With The Coon, attacked by The Coon, Alternate Universes Collide Again
    • ​The Coon: "I've wanted to do that for a long time."
      Human Kite: "Screw you, Coon!"
  • With The Coon, attacked by ally other than the Coon, Alternate Universes Collide Again
    • The Coon: "You brought this on yourself, Kite."
      Human Kite: "Yeah... I know."
  • With The Coon, The Coon attacked
    • ​The Coon: "You fuck with the Coon, you answer to his friends. Right, guys?"
      Human Kite: "Yeah, yeah, we'll get around to it."
  • With The Coon, The Coon defeated
    • Human Kite: "Dead? Already?"
      The Coon: "Fuck off, all of you."
  • With The Coon, Slowed
    • ​Human Kite: "Human Kite, usually so deft and spry, is moving slow."
      The Coon: "He's deft and spry you guys! He admitted it!"
  • With The Coon, Revived
    • Human Kite: "I'm baaack! Shit, where'd that come from?"
      The Coon: "Ha ha ha ha! It's in your genes!"
  • With The Coon and Toolshed, after attacking
    • Toolshed: "Excellent use of your kite-based powers, Human Kite!"
      Human Kite: "Thanks, dude!"
      The Coon: "Jesus, you two, get a room."
  • With The Coon and Toolshed, The Coon defeated
    • Toolshed: "Oh my god, they killed Cartman! I said, "Oh my god, they killed Cartman!"
      Human Kite: "What? I don't care. Do you?"
      Toolshed: "Oh yeah. Not really."
      The Coon: "Hey, fuck you guys!"
  • With Henrietta, after attacking
    • Henrietta: "Nobody. Likes. Kites."
      Human Kite: "Lots of people do!"
  • With High Jew Elf Kyle, battle start, Farts of Future Past
    • High Jew Elf Kyle: "Our King won't let you pass!"
      Human Kite: "Urgh, guess we're gonna have to do this the hard way."
  • With High Jew Elf Kyle, High Jew Elf Kyle turn start, Farts of Future Past
    • High Jew Elf Kyle: "You don't stand a chance! Superheroes are so last summer."
      Human Kite: "What?! When was last time a fantasy franchise got number one at the box office?"
    • High Jew Elf Kyle: "These battle rules are highly unorthodox."
      Human Kite: "Well, your take on JRPG combat was dated!"
  • With Human Kite from an Alternate Universe, battle start, Alternate Universes Collide
    • ​Human Kite from an Alternate Universe: "I haven't done a whole lot of sparring. Is this a no-contact thing?"
      Human Kite: "Full contact. Not sparring."
      Human Kite from an Alternate Universe: "Oh, I'm afraid that's impossible, I didn't bring my pads."
      Human Kite: "It's happening! Get him, New Kid!"
  • With Human Kite from an Alternate Universe, Human Kite from an Alternate Universe turn start, Alternate Universes Collide
    • ​Human Kite from an Alternate Universe: "Oh my, there's a lot of decisions in this game, aren't there?"
      Human Kite: "You could not play! That's a decision you could make!"
      Human Kite from an Alternate Universe: "Oh, don't be silly!"
  • With Human Kite from an Alternate universe, New Kid idle, Alternate Universes Collide
    • ​Human Kite from an Alternate Universe: "Oh, you guys, time out, my vertigo is starting to act up."
      Human Kite: "Jesus, come on, dude."
  • With Human Kite from an Alternate Universe, after Human Kite from an Alternate Universe using Shield of David, Alternate Universes Collide
    • ​Human Kite from an Alternate Universe: "Yeah, I think this would be a lot more fair if I had a shield. Some kind of shield. Like a, like this Sefer Torah, which also has a great sentimental value."
      Human Kite: "Dude, Human Kite is an alien, there's no Jewish stuff involved! And you can't just make up powers in the middle of battle!"
      Human Kite from an Alternate Universe: "I'm not making it up; it's totally canon in my alternate universe."
  • With Human Kite from an Alternate Universe, Human Kite from an Alternate Universe using Turn Steal, Alternate Universes Collide
    • Human Kite from an Alternate Universe: "Wait, I thought I should get this turn instead of the New Kid because he didn't wait when I said time out earlier, so I think it should be my turn now."
      Human Kite: "Are you kidding me? That's totally cheating!"
  • With Human Kite from an Alternate Universe, Human Kite from an Alternate Universe using Death From Above, Alternate Universes Collide
    • Human Kite from an Alternate Universe: "All right, here we go, my super ultimate power. Get ready... Are you ready?"
      Human Kite: "Oh, Jesus."
      Human Kite from an Alternate Universe: "OK, Wrath of Kite from an Alternate Universe!"
  • With Mosquito, after Mosquito using Bug Bite Barrage
    • Human Kite: "Are you sure that was really necessary, Mosquito?"
      Mosquito: "Oh, it was necessary. And delicious."
  • With Mosquito, after Mosquito using Pandemic Pestilence
    • Human Kite: "So how do you get all those bugs back in the jar, Mosquito?"
      Mosquito: "Back in the jar?"
  • With Mosquito, turn start, versus Fighters of Zaron
    • Human Kite: "If we really fought ourselves in the past, shouldn't we, like, remember it?"
      Mosquito: "I remember fighting myself in the past."
      Human Kite: "I mean, like... Ugh, never mind."
  • With Mosquito, after Super Craig using Shining Hate Finger
    • Mosquito: "That middle finger of yours delivers quite a sting, and you don't even need to break it off and die when you use it."
      Human Kite: "That's bees, dumbass."
  • With Mosquito and Raisins Girls, battle start, Mosquito in a Honey Pot
    • Human Kite: "Mosquito is coming with us!"
      Lexus: "No chance! See, Mr. Mosquito, we told you everyone else in here was a loser. Here's some losers now!"
      Mosquito: "I can't leave now, I got a pitcher of lemonade on the way!"
      Ferrari: "Welcome to the team! You're gonna need a total makeover."
      Human Kite: "Knock some sense into Mosquito, that'll snap him out of it!"
      Mosquito: "I feel so... Tingly." / "Seriously guys, the wings are really good."
      Human Kite: "Dammit, Clyde! I'm gonna knock some sense into you!"
      Lexus: "Nice hit, sweetie! You're so strong!"
  • With Mysterion, after using Wrath of Kite
    • Mysterion: "Death comes on plastic wings."
      Human Kite: "Actually, I kinda made 'em out of Mylar and this polyurethane stuff."
  • With Mysterion, after Mysterion using Demonic Fury
    • Human Kite: "Wow, dude, it's like you have zero fear of death."
      Mysterion: "I'm not the one who needs to be afraid."
  • With Mysterion, ally attacked
    • ​Human Kite: "I'll make them pay for that!"
      Mysterion: "No. Vengeance will be mine alone."
  • With Professor Chaos, battle start against Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
    • Human Kite: "Dude, you totally outdid yourself!"
      Professor Chaos: "Thanks!"
  • With Professor Chaos, after Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme using Lava Piss, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
    • Human Kite: "Jesus, what the fuck was that?"
      Professor Chaos: "My Chaos Supreme comes with extra hot sauce!"
  • With Professor Chaos, Chaos Minion turn start, Round 1, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
    • Professor Chaos: "Why would you side with such weaklings, Toolshed?"
      Human Kite: "Yeah, why, Stan?"
  • With Raisins Girl, turn start
    • Human Kite: "Check your watch, crime: It's kite time."
      Raisins Girl: "What does that even mean?"
  • With Raisins Girl, Raisins Girl turn start
    • ​Raisins Girl: "After we beat you guys up, do you want to buy a Raisins calendar?"
      Human Kite: "Oh god, no."
  • With Raisins Girl, self or ally idle
    • Raisins Girl: "So, you guys having a good time today?"
      Human Kite: "No!"
  • With Sheila Broflovski and Human Kite from an Alternate Universe, Sheila Broflovski attacked for the first time, Alternate Universes Collide Again
    • Human Kite: "DUDE, THAT'S MY MOM! OK everyone, just STOP! We're taking this too far!"
      Sheila: "To heck with that. These boys need to learn some manners!"
      Human Kite from an Alternate Universe: "Yeah, Aunt Sheila!"
      Human Kite: "You wanna beat up my mom, you're gonna have to go through me, first!"
  • With Sheila Broflovski, turn start, Alternate Universes Collide Again
    • Human Kite: "You guys can't fight my mom! She's gonna kick your ass!"
      Sheila: "Kyle, language!"
  • With Sheila Broflovski, Sheila Broflovski attacked, Alternate Universes Collide Again
    • Human Kite: "That's my mom, dick!"
      Sheila: "KYLE!"
  • With Sheila Broflovski, Human Kite from an Alternate Universe or self attacked for the first time, Alternate Universes Collide Again
    • Sheila: "You're gonna come in my backyard and disrespect MY FAMILY? I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU!"
      Human Kite: "Mom! Calm down!"
  • With Sheila Broflovski, Bleeding, Alternate Universes Collide Again
    • Human Kite: "Oh, great, thanks guys. I'm bleeding."
      Sheila: "Kyle, you're bleeding all over the place. Are you OK?!"
      Human Kite: "Yeah, I'm fine, Ma."
  • With Sheila Broflovski, Burning, Alternate Universes Collide Again
    • Human Kite: "Human Kite is on fire! And I'm made of mostly paper!"
      Sheila: "Oh, you be careful, Kyle!"
  • With Sheila Broflovski, Chilled, Alternate Universes Collide Again
    • Human Kite: "I'm... so cold."
      Sheila: "Kyle! Put on a jacket - you'll catch your death!"
      Human Kite: "No, thanks."
  • With Sixth Grader, turn start
    • Human Kite: "Feel the wrath of...Human Kite!"
      Sixth Grader: "Stupid fourthie with a kite on his back!"
    • Human Kite: "Check your watch, crime: It's kite time."
      Sixth Grader: "Seriously?"
  • With Super Craig, battle start, Rise of the Fourthies
    • Super Craig: "Are we really going to take on the Sixth Graders?"
      Human Kite: "No mercy, guys!"
  • With Super Craig, Super Craig idle
    • Human Kite: "Go any time, Craig."
      Super Craig: "Don't rush me, Kite."
  • With Super Craig, after Super Craig attacking
    • Human Kite: "If only you put as much effort into your costume as you did that move."
      Super Craig: "Look, dude. You're lucky I even showed up."
  • With Super Craig, after Super Craig using Mega Fist Punch
    • Human Kite: "You beat the crap out of them dude, good work."
      Super Craig: "I don't need your praise, but thank you."
  • With Toolshed, turn start
    • Human Kite: "Check your watch, crime: It's kite time."
      Toolshed: ???
  • With Toolshed and Wonder Tweek, turn start, Farts of Future Past
    • Human Kite: "So if we beat our past selves, does that mean we change the future?"
      Toolshed: "Maybe we split off into another timeline."
      Wonder Tweek: "Can we PLEASE establish a canon and stick to it?! AUGH!"
  • With Toolshed, Toolshed turn start
    • Toolshed: "Ready to screw the bad guys!"
      Human Kite: "Wow."
  • With Toolshed, attacked by Toolshed
    • Human Kite: "Jesus, dude. That really hurt!"
      Toolshed: "Sorry!"
  • With Tupperware, turn start
    • Human Kite: "Check your watch, crime: It's kite time."
      Tupperware:' You mean Apple watch, right?
  • Fighting Jared, after he speaks, The Thin White Line
    • "Get away from me."
    • "Keep your sandwich in your pants!"
    • "You're gross and your sandwiches are gross."
  • Fighting The Coon and Mitch Conner, To Catch a Coon
    • Human Kite: "We know you're not really hostage of your own hand, asshole."
      The Coon: "Oh, yeah, blame the victim. Real cool, Kite."
    • Human Kite: "Dammit, Coon! Quit fooling around!"
      The Coon: "I'm just an innocent hostage here!"
    • The Coon: "You know I didn't do that, right? That was Conner."
      Human Kite: "Give me a fucking break!" / "Oh god, it's so fucking obvious Cartman is fucking with us."
    • The Coon: "Man, Mitch Conner sure plays dirty, huh guys?" / "Wow, Mitch is pretty tough, huh guys?"
      Human Kite: "Cut the crap, dick!"
    • The Coon: "Wow, Mitch is pretty tough, huh guys?"
      Human Kite: "Fuck you, Cartman."
    • The Coon: "Guys, I'm really sorry about this. Mitch is such an asshole, huh?"
      Human Kite: "You're such a fucking liar, Cartman!"
    • Human Kite: "This is getting real old, Coon."
      The Coon: "Yeah, tell me about it. Stop Conner!"
    • Mitch Conner: "How does it feel having your friends' blood on your hands, Coon?"
      Human Kite: "Yeah, like literally ON YOUR HAND, asshole."
      The Coon: "Dude, it's not me!"
    • Human Kite: "Cartman, STOP. SERIOUSLY."
• Unsorted
  • "Way to protect your healer, assholes."
  • "Oh no."
  • "Cartman... This is your fault... Ugh...."
  • "This is not a charade. This is Mitch's doing."
  • "You're like The Punisher, if he was a disgruntled hardware store employee."
  • Toolshed: "You OK, buddy?"
    Human Kite: "I'm good. Just makin' some plans."
  • "When this blows over, can you make us a sweet tree house?"
  • "God dammit Cartman, stop putting "Coon" on everything!!"
  • Human Kite: "We're still friends, right?"
    Toolshed: "Yeah, I guess so."
  • "Nice grouping on those shots, Toolshed."
  • Human Kite: "Nice work stopping their attacks with your body, Chaos!"
    Professor Chaos: "Oh, thanks!"
  • "The needs of many outweigh the needs of one hamster, I guess."
  • Professor Chaos: "Let the winds of Chaos blow you, Human Kite..."
    Human Kite: "You saying you want to blow me, Chaos?"
    Professor Chaos: "Muahahaha! Chaos!"
  • "See, guys. I'm a full-service Human Kite."
  • "It'll take more than that to kill the mighty Toolshed!"
  • Mysterion: "Knock off the bullshit, Kite."
    Human Kite: "I'm not doing anything, dude. It's Mitch!"
  • Wonder Tweek: "Gah! Human Kite's turned evil!"
    Human Kite: "Mitch Conner's the evil one here, not me!"
  • Super Craig: "What the hell's your problem?"
    Human Kite: "Don't ask me! Ask the hand!"
  • Toolshed: "Dude! What the fuck you attacking us for?"
    Human Kite: "It's not me, dude! It's Mitch!"
  • Call Girl: "We get it, Kyle. You're calling Cartman's bluff. You can stop now."
    Human Kite: "Talk to Mitch. I don't have any say in the matter."
  • "New Kid, we need the whole team to stay alive if this is going to work."
  • "Not like this, New Kid! Not like this!"
  • "Cartman, you're such a fucking asshole. Just stop."
  • "God dammit Cartman, just stop it already!"
  • "Here we go, assholes!"
  • "New Kid! Get a hold of yourself! You're a superhero and we're saving South Park! It's all very straightforward!"

Anecdote

• Human Kite avait un jour une citation disant : "C'est un oiseau ! C'est un cerf-volant ! C'est un cerf-volant humain !" au début de son tour, en référence directe à Superman. Cependant, cette ligne n'apparaît que dans la démo et non dans le jeu complet.