CupiYe/Script

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Cast

• Kyle Broflovski
• Stan Marsh
• Tolkien Black
• Eric Cartman
• Bebe Stevens
• Red McArthur
• Butters Stotch
• Kenny McCormick
• Mr. Romero
• Cupid Cartman/Cupid Ye
• Clyde Donovan
• Scott Malkinson
• Principal PC
• Steve Black
• Jimmy Valmer
• Randy Marsh
• Gerald Broflovski
• Linda Black
• Mr. Mackey
• Craig Tucker
• Kevin Stoley

Script

CupiYe
	South Park Elementary. The students talk amongst themselves in the hallways. Stan, Kenny and Cartman are seen rummaging through their lockers, then Kyle and Tolkien approach them.
Kyle	Hey, dudes.
Stan	Hey, what's up?
Kyle	Just wondering if you guys have seen me and Tolkien's latest TikTok?
Stan	You guys made another TikTok?
Tolkien	I think it's really our best one yet!
Cartman	Yeah, nobody really gives a shit about your TikToks, guys. [Bebe and Red walk by.]
Bebe	Hey, really great TikTok guys!
Kyle and Tolkien	Oh, thanks!
Red	Yeah, it was pretty amazing.
Tolkien	Awesome.
Kyle	Well, anyway you guys gotta check it out when you get a chance. See ya later!
Tolkien	Yeah, see you guys!
	As Kyle and Tolkien walk by, the other boys look at them, confused. Butters walks into the next frame.
Butters	Hey, fellas! Loved that last TikTok!
Tolkien	Thanks, Butters!
	Playful music starts to play, and then it cuts to a TikTok video of Kyle and Tolkien. As the video plays, the two of them are seen using face filters while lip-syncing the lyrics of the song.
	Konnichiwa Sayonara Kochi, kochi, kochi Sayonara
	Then, it cuts to Cartman, Stan and Kenny watching the TikTok, perplexed at what they are looking at.
Cartman	What the fuck is this? Seriously, what the fuck is this? Have you guys noticed that Kyle and Tolkien are, like, doing everything together lately?
Stan	Yeah, they're quite the little team, aren't they?
	The frame cuts to Tolkien and Kyle together, with Kyle recording Tolkien playing with a tetherball. Stan sees this and looks sad.
Stan	I, uh... I'm gonna go inside, guys. I'm gonna get some homework done. [He walks away.]
Cartman	Wow. I feel really bad for Stan. It's gotta be hard to suddenly have your best friend always hanging with someone else.
Kenny	(Yeah.)
Cartman	I gotta see if there's some way I can help. There's a little voice inside of me that can't stand to see my friend suffer.
Kenny	(What are you gonna do?)
Cartman	I'm gonna be a good Christian.
	Music Room. The kids are practicing with their instruments, although their perfomance is much to be desired.
Mr Romero	Okay, just the woodwinds for this section.
	The woodwinds section plays, poorly... The frame cuts to Cartman walking over to Tolkien, shoving a student away from their seat so he can sit down next to him.
Cartman	Hey, Tolkien! What's goin' on?
Tolkien	This is the brass section.
Cartman	Yeah, I know. I was just - I was noticing that you're kind of hanging out a lot with Kyle lately.
Tolkien	Is there a problem with that?
Cartman	No, I think it's amazing. It's awesome that someone like you could be okay with someone like him, given all the new information lately.
	Tolkien tries to continue playing his trumpet, in an attempt to ignore Cartman.
Cartman	You know, the stuff that's come out about how the Jews stole the black race's identity, that the lost tribes of Judah were actually all Africans. [He plays his clarinet, poorly.] You didn't hear about this? Black people are actually the Jews and people like Kyle have taken that from them?
Tolkien	[Visibily annoyed] Stop talking to me.
Cartman	When the Jews came to America to escape persecution in World War II, they found that Blacks were already the underclass in America, so they had to invent a story for themselves which they can make everyone believe... [The music in the room comes to a sudden stop] ...because Kyle runs Hollywood!
	The room goes silent. Everyone in the classroom looks at Tolkien and Cartman.
Cartman	[quietly] Kyle runs Hollywood, Tolkien.
	The bells rings and the class is dismissed. Tolkien stops for a moment to think, and then walks away. Cartman smiles to himself.
	Cafeteria. Stan is sitting by himself, fiddling with his school lunch. Moments later, Kenny and Cartman sit with him.
Cartman	Hey, Stan. Guess what? I have some good news for you.
Stan	What?
Cartman	A little magic fairy told me that you and Kyle are gonna get back together soon.
Stan	I don't care that Kyle is making TikToks with Tolkien.
Cartman	Yes, you do. But don't worry, Stan. It's almost Valentine's Day. And the little angel on my shoulder says that Kyle is gonna come running back to you any minute!
	Just as Cartman predicted, Kyle walks in, much to Stan's surprise.
Kyle	Hey, Stan.
Stan	Oh! Hey, Kyle.
Kenny	(Woah.)
Cartman	Uh-huh.
Stan	Well, dude, do you wanna sit down?
Kyle	Oh, no sorry. I was actually just seeing if you had a phone charger I could borrow. Me and Tolkien are making another TikTok video and my stupid phone died!
Stan	[dissapointedly] Oh, yeah, sure...
	As Stan looks through his stuff to find a phone charger, Kenny and Cartman are left without much to say.
Kyle	Thanks, dude! [walks away] Tolkien, I got one, dude!
	After Kyle leaves, Stan looks down sadly.
Cartman	The fuck is going on?
Stan	Well... um, I'm gonna head back to class, guys. [He takes his food tray and leaves the table, looking down sadly.]
Cartman	I don't get it. The little cupid is always right.
Kenny	(Well, not this time.) [walks away]
Cartman	Why didn't Tolkien listen?
	Then, harps begin to play as "Cupid Ye" appears next to Cartman.
Cupid Ye	Did you tell him about the Black Hebrew tribes?
Cartman	Yeah, I told him everything, Cupid Ye!
Cupid Ye	Tee hee hee! [he takes off his shades] And did you tell him how the Jews stole Black people's identity?
Cartman	Yeah, but it didn't work, Cupid Ye.
Cupid Ye	That's okay, Eric! Remember, being a good Christian means helping people even when it's hard.
Cartman	You're right, Cupid Ye. Can you help make sure Tolkien hears our message?
Cupid Ye	Spreading information is like spreading love. I'll help you get the word out, Eric! Tee hee hee! Tee hee heeeee!
	Some time later. Tolkien and Kyle are watching their newest TikTok. It's them dancing to the song "Pretty Girls Walk" by Big Boss Bette.
Kyle	Wow, that's so cool, Tolkien! Look how many likes we're getting for this one.
	Clyde and Scott walk into frame and approach Kyle and Tolkien.
Clyde	Hey, Kyle, you got a minute?
Kyle	Yeah, what's up?
Clyde	Well, there's this rumor starting to go around the school. Kids are saying that, like... I don't know, that, like, you run Hollywood?
Kyle	What?
Clyde	I told Scott that that's just people being dumb and he shouldn't listen to stuff like that. [beat] But... Scott and I do have this sweet movie idea about a dude who has guns for hands and we have the first 20 pages written, so... [another beat] You don't really run Hollywood, right?
Kyle	[angrily] I'm not even going to justify that with a response. Because repeating a derogatory slur, even for the purpose of refuting it, can make stupid people think it's valid! [he storms off]
Clyde	Holy shit, Kyle runs Hollywood...
Scott	Kyle runs Hollywood, and you fucked up the pitch!
Clyde	How'd I fuck up the pitch?!
Scott	You gotta tell him what the stakes are. People who make movies, they just care about the stakes!
Clyde	The guy has guns for hands!
	PC Principal's office. Cartman and Kyle are sitting down, as Kyle has his arms crossed and looks away angrily.
PC Principal	Mr. Cartman, did you or did you not tell students at this school that Kyle runs Hollywood?
Cartman	I think... I did say that, yes.
PC Principal	And why would you say such an intolerant, offensive thing like that?!
Cartman	Somebody runs Hollywood.
Kyle	Lots of people run Hollywood!!
Cartman	Yes, lots of... people like Kyle.
PC Principal	Mr. Cartman, you are on dangerous frickin ground here, buddy!
Cartman	I'm sorry, why is it so offensive to say who runs Hollywood? People like Hollywood. Hollywood's cool. The Jews should be honored to be in charge of it.
PC Principal	Hey! I am telling you right now, Eric. The next time anyone says anything about Kyle running Hollywood, that person is gonna have two months detention!
Cartman	Two months?! Jesus, Mary mother full of grace... You guys really take this seriously.
	Cartman's hot dog house. Nighttime. Cartman peeks over to check if his mother is sleeping. He closes his door and walks over to a table with a lit candle and kneels down in prayer.
Cartman	Please help me be the best Christian I can be. All I want is to help people, but nobody understands. Please, I can't do this alone.
	Harps begin to play. It's Cupid Ye again.
Cupid Ye	Tee hee hee!
Cartman	There you are, Cupid Ye!
Cupid Ye	Sorry, Eric, I was just busy praising our Savior's name in the music studio!
Cartman	The principal said I can't talk about Kyle running Hollywood anymore, Cupid Ye!
Cupid Ye	Well, of course, Eric! They're trying to silence you! That's what they do.
Cartman	Who's "they"? Oh, right... "them".
Cupid Ye	Tee hee hee! Jews!
Cartman	But Cupid Ye, I have to get to Tolkien or else Stan is gonna be sad forever!
Cupid Ye	Okay! I'll help you help your friend however I can. You're such a good Christian, Eric.
Cartman	Thanks. Just, don't do anything too drastic, okay?
Cupid Ye	What do you mean?
Cartman	I dunno, it's just... ever since you changed your name and got all into Jesus, you've been acting a bit bat shit crazy, Cupid Ye.
Cupid Ye	Tee hee hee! Don't worry, Eric! I'm gonna make everything better! [he flies away]
	Credigree Weed. Cupid Ye is seen flying to the resident.
Cupid Ye	Praiiiise Jesus!
	Tolkien's bedroom. Tolkien is sound asleep. Cupid Ye barges inside through the window.
Cupid Ye	Tee hee! Tee hee hee hee hee! [he approaches Tolkien and whispers to him] The true Jews of Israel are your Black ancestors... Tee hee hee...
Tolkien	[in his sleep] Huh...?
Cupid Ye	You think you and Kyle make TikToks together? Kyle only cares about money. Tee hee hee...
Tolkien	[mumbling] Mmmm...?
Cupid Ye	Think about it. Are you really making TikToks together, or is Kyle profiting off of you?
	Outside of Tolkien's bedroom. Steve is walking by the hallway, looking at his phone. "Cupid Ye" continues his speech, and he hears this and stops.
"Cupid Ye"	It's just like the tribes of Israel. Kyle wants to take all the credit for what you're doing.
	Steve opens the bedroom door.
Steve	Tolkien?
	The scene cuts to what seems like Cartman in a disguise rushing out of Tolkien's bedroom through the window. He struggles, but is successful in escaping.
Cartman	Oh, Jesus!
	South Park Elementary. The next day. Kyle is walking through the hallways and sees other students muttering to themselves. He stops by Tolkien's locker to talk with him.
Kyle	Hey, I didn't see you at the playground. Thought we were doing that morning TikTok.
Tolkien	Oh yeah, sorry. I didn't get the best sleep last night.
Kyle	Everything okay?
	Jimmy walks up to Kyle and Tolkien.
Jimmy	Hey, Kyle! How's it going, man?
Kyle	Good, Jimmy. How are you?
Jimmy	Great! F-F-Fantastic!
	Beat.
Kyle	Is there something you wanted, Jimmy?
Jimmy	Oh, yeah! I just realized I've never given you my headshot! [he hands Kyle a picture of himself] You know, just in case anything ever comes up.
Kyle	Anything like what?
Jimmy	Anything like... Anything you might need my headshot for.
Kyle	[frustrated] Jimmy, I do not run Hollywood!
Jimmy	Well, that's not what everyone's saying.
Kyle	[louder] Everyone! I do not run Hollywood! Get a fucking clue!
	Everyone else leaves, except for Tolkien.
Kyle	God dammit! This thing has gotten out of control!
Tolkien	Ah, it's not a big deal.
Kyle	It's a huge deal! It's an attack on my ethnicity, Tolkien! You don't understand!
Tolkien	I don't understand?
Kyle	Yeah, Tolkien. There's lots of Black people in the NBA, but nobody says, "The NBA is run by Black people!"
Tolkien	That's because the NBA is run by white people!
Kyle	Okay, yeah good point.
Tolkien	Look, I'm sorry. You wanna just go make that morning TikTok?
Kyle	Yeah, sure. We still have time.
Tolkien	Cool, come on!
	Kyle and Tolkien both walk away. The camera pans to Stan, Cartman and Kenny sitting by the stairs, watching them. Stan looks sad, and grabs his backpack as he starts to leave.
Cartman	Stan? Sometimes, Jesus works slowly.
Stan	Stop talking to me. [he leaves]
	The Broflovski residency. Randy walks up to the front door and rings the doorbell. Gerald answers.
Randy	Hey, Ger. You got a minute to talk?
Gerald	Yeah, what's up, Randy?
	The kitchen. Gerald and Randy are having a cup coffee as they begin their conversation.
Randy	Look, I - I know that boys will be boys and as parents, we can't always control what their personal decisions are.
Gerald	No, of course not.
Randy	I just want you to know first off that... your son is a great kid. You know, Stan and Kyle have always been really close, and I know their friendship meant so much.
Gerald	What's happened, Randy?
Randy	[Kyle listens to the conversation from the living room. Randy exhales.] Well Gerald, I don’t know if you can just talk to your son but… can we just admit this whole woke thing isn’t working?
Gerald	Woke thing?
Randy	I mean, it’s been great in so many ways, but… now it’s like every movie and every TV show. You know it’s like you can see through it now. Audiences want to be entertained. They don’t want to be preached at, and if you’re just doing shows and movies that have an agenda, it’s like-- it’s just going to keep failing.
Gerald	Randy, what are you talking about?
Randy	Box office is down, people are tuning out. You know it’s what killed the Marvel franchise. And just as a side note, I’m gonna say it out loud: “Avatar 2” sucked. It just sucked, Gerald. Someone had to be brave enough to say it.
Kyle	[Kyle walks into the kitchen angered.]God dammit! I do not fucking run Hollywood!
Randy	Gerald, can you talk to him?
Gerald	Kyle, what is he talking about?
Kyle	He’s just being an idiot and listening to what fucking Eric Cartman said!
Randy	I did not hear it from Eric Cartman. I heard it from a prominent, respected artist on television.
Kyle	Who?!
	A news television set, a female anchor sits along a Cartman hiding his identity.
News Anchor	Our next guest is a world famous rapper and artist who claims that the Jews run Hollywood. What exactly do you mean by that?
Cartman	Well, mostly I just mean that Jews control everything we see on TV and the movies.
News Anchor	And why do you not want to show your face right now?
Cartman	Well, that’s ‘cause there’s this one Jew -- um, his name is Kyle. And he can totally retaliate me, ‘cause he like, runs Hollywood.
Cupid Ye	[Cupid Ye flies up to Cartman’s shoulder holding a bible, also hiding his identity.] Yeah, and Jews try to silence people all the time. Yeah, especially black people.
Cartman	Yeah, especially black people.
	Tolkien’s house, Tolkien is watching the interview on the living room’s TV.
Cartman	[Cartman keeps talking on the TV while Tolkien watches.] That’s because of all the new information lately. The new information about how the chosen people were actually Africans.
Cartman	[Back at the new’s station.] So, you know, black people have really been hurt by the Jews.
Cupid Ye	Yeah, so Hitler actually wasn’t a bad guy.
Cartman	Yeah, so-- woah, woah, Cupid Ye. That’s going a bit too far. He’s just trying to be shocking.
Linda	[Back at Tolkien’s living room.] What are you watching, honey?
Tolkien	I have no idea.
	South Park’s townpark, Tolkien and Kyle are recording a new TikTok. TikTok interface on the screen as Tolkien and Kyle are recorded.
Tolkien	[With a high pitched playback voice.] Mommy?
Kyle	[With a high pitched playback voice.] What is it, Caillou?
Tolkien	[With a high pitched playback voice.] Can I get Roblox on my Xbox?
Kyle	[With a high pitched playback voice.] Sure thing, Caillou, as long as it’s free.
Tolkien	[With a high pitched playback voice.] Oh for sure it is for free.
Kyle	Okay, wait, wait, cut. Hang on. [Out of the TikTok interface.] Let’s try again. I think you forgot the words.
Tolkien	Yeah, sorry. I’m just tired. I didn’t get the best sleep last night. Maybe I should do the mom part.
Kyle	Nah, you do the kid part. It’s funnier.
Tolkien	Okay, yeah. I guess you call the shots.
Kyle	What’s that supposed to mean?
Tolkien	Just means you’re in charge.
Kyle	Oh, I’m in charge. Like I, control things? Huh, are you gonna start saying I run Hollywood now too?
Tolkien	I didn’t say you run Hollywood And honestly, I’m getting kind of sick of hearing it.
Kyle	You’re sick of hearing it?
Tolkien	Yeah, I’m sick of hearing it.
Kyle	[Cartman creeps up from the bushes.] Oh my God, are you listening to yourself? You of all people should have some compassion!
Tolkien	Oh, really? Why me of all people, Kyle?
Kyle	[Cartman smiles at the fight from behind the bushes.] You seriously don’t know why? You know that Jews have stood alongside Blacks since the Civil Rights movement began, right?
Tolkien	What does that have to do with anything?
Kyle	I’m just saying I thought you’d be a better friend. ‘Cause you’re like…
Tolkien	’Cause I’m like what? Black?
Cartman	[From behind the bushes.] Oh my God, this is so awesome.
Kyle	Whatever, Tolkien. Now you’re gonna act like I somehow did something wrong to you.
Tolkien	No, you didn’t do it to me. It just seems to work out that way all the time for you people.
Kyle	You people?! No, it works that way for you people!
Tolkien	You know what? I don’t wanna make TikToks with you anymore! [Cartman jumps and celebrates from behind the bushes.]
Kyle	[Kyle takes the tripod and prepares to leave.] I don’t wanna make TikToks with you anymore!
Tolkien	Good!
Kyle	Good!
Cartman	[Both Tolkien and Kyle leave in opposite directions.] We did it. I can’t believe we did it!
Cupid Ye	Praise Christ! They’ll probably never talk again!
Cartman	And now Stan can have his best friend back.
Cupid Ye	Yeah! And we can spread our N*** message all over the world!
Cartman	Woah, woah, okay. Cupid Ye, you mean our Christian message.
Cupid Ye	It’s the same thing! Christian message, N*** message. Hitler was a great Christian!
Cartman	Cupid Ye, are you okay? Do you need to, like, talk to somebody?
Cupid Ye	I mean it! People have to die so that the better races can live.
Cartman	Okay, Cupid Ye, time to go back inside.
Cupid Ye	[Cartman tries to catch Cupid Ye but he escapes from him while laughing.] Teehee, teeheehee, tee hee hee.
Cartman	C’mon, let’s go, Ye!
Cupid Ye	I don’t think so, dawg! Let’s go torch some motherfuckers!
	Cupid Ye crashes into the window of a car, the alarm of the car goes blaring. Cupid Ye wires the vehicle and begins to drive recklessly, crashing into the car parked behind it, and tires squealing towards the front.
Cupid Ye	Dethcon one, b******!
Cartman	Yeeeee! [Cupid Ye drives away, crashing into another car and taking a hard turn left.]
Cartman	Yeeeeeeeeee! Oh, shit.
	Stan’s room, Carman knocks on the door agitated.
Stan	Yeah?
Cartman	[Cartman barges into the room, closing the door and locking it behind him.] Stan! We aren’t safe!
Stan	What?!
Cartman	[Cartman proceeds to lock the windows, as well.] He’s totally gotten crazy! I don’t think I can reason with him anymore!
Stan	Reason with who?
Cartman	Stan, listen to me. There’s someone who’s been messing with Kyle and Tolkien. He said it was to be a good Christian, but… But I think he’s just been using Christianity as an excuse to be a racist piece of shit.
Stan	What did you do?
Cartman	Not me, Stan! This is going to be extremely hard to believe, but… There’s a little magic angel that comes each year around Valentine’s Day. He spreads love and brings lonely people together. But this year is different. Cupid Me found Christ and changed his name. And I have to find a way to get him back on his meds.
Stan	Dude, Cartman, are you okay? Do you need to, like, talk to somebody?
Cartman	Stan, do you believe in Santa Claus?
Stan	[Shrugs.] Yeah.
Cartman	Do you believe in the Easter Bunny?
Stan	[Shrugs.] I guess so.
Cartman	Then believe that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day… and there’s no telling what Cupid Ye is capable of.
	Valentine’s Day at South Park Elementary. Kids are seen exchanging Valentine’s love letters in the hallways.
Butters	[Butters is giving love letters to some of the students.] Happy Valentine’s Day, Clyde! Here’s a Valentine for you, Red!
Mr. Mackey	Ah, Valentine’s Day. Isn’t it nice? Love is in the air!
	School’s bathroom. A close up to Cupid Ye’s hands as he’s preparing his different arrows. Cupid Ye had decorated the bathrooms as an altar to Hitler. “Gold Digger” by Kanye West plays in the background.
Cupid Ye	Dee deet, deedle-y doo! I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger! But she ain’t messin’ with no broke Jew! [A knock on the door. Cupid Ye takes a puff from a cigarette.] Who is it? Teehee.
Craig	Hey! Asshole! Other people need to use the bathroom too!
Craig	[Kenny kicks the door down, he and Craig walk into the bathroom and see all the Valentine’s decorations for Hitler.] Woah… dude…
Cupid Ye	Happy Valentine’s Day, b****!
Craig	What the hell?!
Cupid Ye	How about a little antisemitism?!
Craig	[Cupid Ye fires an arrow at Craig.] Ugh! [Craig’s face falls blankly and hearts with N*** Swastikas appear floating around him.]
Kenny	(Aaaaghagaah!!!) [Kenny runs away from the bathroom, scared.]
Cupid Ye	Teehee Tehehehe.
	Cupid Ye comes out of the bathroom laughing and proceeds to fire arrows at the different students, panic ensues as the children begin to yell. As the students are hit by the arrows, their faces fall blankly and hearts with N*** Swastikas float around them, just like Craig.
Cupid Ye	Teehee Teeheehee Teeheehee.
	Cupid Ye crashes into the window to the computer labs and continues shooting arrows at the different students.
Girl 1	What is that?!
Stan	[At the entrance of the school.] Tolkien! Tolkien I need to talk to you.
Tolkien	About what?
Stan	Tolkien… I owe you an apology. Someone has been messing with you… and it was all for me.
Tolkien	I don’t get it.
Stan	I’ve been jealous about you and Kyle’s TikToks. [Glass shatters. Stan and Tolkien jump. Students scream as Cupid Ye fires arrows to them in the hallways.]
Cupid Ye	Teehee Teeheehee.
	Kyle is walking through the hallways slowly, a kid passes him screaming and he perks up an eyebrow, suddenly, a wave of kids screaming run in his direction.
Mr. Mackey	[Over P.A.] Attention students! There is a giant bee in the school! Get somewhere safe! There’s a giant bee! Oh, Jesus, here it is!
Cupid Ye	[Over P.A.] Teeheehee Teeheehee.
Mr. Mackey	[Over P.A.] Oh, God, it’s a bee!
Craig	[Kyle starts running away, Craig, Kevin Stoley and a group of students shot by Cupid Ye’s arrows corner him.] Look, there he is!
Kevin	What do you think you’re doing, Kyle?
Kyle	W-What do you mean?
Craig	A “Lord of the Rings” prequel?! What were you thinking?!
Kevin	How many more superheroes do you think we need?!
Butters	Mario Brothers, Kyle?! You seriously can’t do better than Mario Brothers?!
Tolkien	[Kyle tries to walk away but the group follows him, Tolkien and Stan run to the scene and wall him to protect him.] That’s enough, you guys!
Kyle	Tolkien?
Tolkien	I’m sorry, Kyle.
Stan	It’s not his fault, it’s mine. I was jealous of you guys and your TikToks.
Cupid Ye	[Cupid Ye flies into the scene, above the group of students hypnotized.] What are you waiting for?! Let’s jack up these mofos!
Kyle	Holy shit!
Tolkien	What the hell is that?!
Cartman	[Out of frame.] Cupid Yeeeeee!! [The group turns around to stare at Cartman as he holds a bottle of pills. Cartman shakes the bottle.]Time to take your meds.
Cupid Ye	No! Those are how people control me!
Cartman	[Cartman starts walking towards Cupid Ye.] You’re taking your meds, Ye! One way or another! [As the mob of hypnotized students tries to stop him, Cartman punches them away.]
Cupid Ye	[Cartman grabs Cupid Ye from flight and throws him to the ground.] No! I’m not taking!--
Cartman	You’re taking your medication! [Cupid Me tries to escape.]
Cupid Ye	Let me go, I’m not t--
Cartman	You’re taking it, Ye! [Cupid Me struggles, Cartman holds him back.] Swallow it, swallow it! Swallow it, swallow it! [Cupid Me grunts as Cartman shoves the pills into his mouth.] Ye? Ye?
	Cupid Ye appears to be unconscious on the floor, with the trill of a harp, his clothes disappear and go back to the normal Cupid Me appearance.
Cupid Me	Eric?
Cartman	Cupid Me?! You guys! It's Cupid Me! He’s back!
Cupid Me	[Cartman looks back at the group of students including Tolkien, Kyle and Stan, who just stare confused at him.] What day is it?
Cartman	Why, it’s Valentine’s Day, Cupid Me!
Cupid Me	Valentine's Day?! Well then I need to get to work! [Cupid Me flies up into the air.] Teeheehee Teeheehee!
Cartman	[Cartman cheers.] Yeah!
	Cupid Me comes back to his senses and flies around, firing love arrows at the students of South Park Elementary.
	At a conference, a woman, two older men, Kyle, Stan and Tolkien.
Conference Woman	We have a young man who is joining us here today to… talk about stereotypes and the harm that they can bring. Young man, what is your message.
Kyle	My message is, we can't control what people say, so we have to be smart about what we choose to believe. If one idiot says that a certain group "runs Hollywood", look into it. With very minimal effort, you will find that "Hollywood" is a multi-tiered industry run by tens of thousands of people from all over the world. In the past, Jews were shut out of most professions, so they came to dominate vaudeville, which back then was considered too low-brow for good Christians. Those Jews eventually moved West and started the first movie studios when movies were also considered work for the underclass, and their descendents are now a decent percentage of the thousands of people of all races that make Hollywood run.
Conference Man 1	This young man has said in plain words what so many of us in Hollywood have been trying to get people to understand.
Older Man 1	To hear it all so plain, and so passionate, this kid thinks about things the way we all need to.
Conference Man 2	You know what I think? I think this kid should run Hollywood!
Conference Man 3	Yeah! [People stand up from their seats and start clapping and cheering.]
Kyle	Woah, woah-- wait, what? Woah.
Conference Man 1	Let him run Hollywood!
Conference Man 2	Yeah, give the kid a chance! C’mon!
Conference Man 4	Let him do it!
Kyle	God dammit!
Crowd	[Chanting.] Let the Jew run it! Let the Jew run it! Let the Jew run it! Let the Jew run it!
Fin de CupiYe