Linda Stotch

Butters’ parents aren’t bad characters

Another beautifully drawn piece by @Floyd413 . The Stotches are stoned! Their eyes are so on point.

Alright, so I decided to do a little retelling from Butters’ point of view. The idea here is Butters keeping a diary during the events of “Casa Bonita”. Part of my slightly perfectionist reluctance to do these things is due to a lesser than desired ability to put myself in this gullible kiddo’s shoes, but this practice is a reason I’m writing this out. Additionally, you may be confused by the angry and OOC vibe here, particularly at the end. Just know that it’s intentional, given that we have adequate evidence that like the rest of us, Butters’ inner thoughts and feelings are less pretty and cute than he lets on. Feedback is encouraged, and enjoy.

DAY 1

Dear Diary,

I’m glad I brought a flashlight so I could continue to write here. Today, Eric asked me to come over to show me something. When I got there, he said that he thought he saw something scary through his telescope. I looked in it and saw a huge asteroid zooming towards the earth! Eric told me it might destroy everyone and kill us in a few hours! So he had us hide in Stan’s uncle’s bomb shelter. Right now, he’s outside to save the everyone else. But Eric said he might not come back, so I might have to repopulate the earth! But I’m just so thankful to have a protective, loyal friend like Eric, even if he can act mean sometimes.

DAY 2

I’m kind of scared. Eric still hasn’t come back, and I don’t have any way to safely find out what’s going on in the world. I should start figuring out my new life. I wonder how I’m going to repopulate if all the ladies get killed…

DAY 5 (A few days later, Butters hadn’t written during those ones)

Things really aren’t going well on this planet! Eric finally came back, but he looked really messed up and tired. His jacket was all torn up, and he was having trouble breathing. He told me about what happened. The giant asteroid hit, and a lot of people immediately died. Eric also told me to stay inside because of how dangerous and poisonous and polluted the air was. He told me I should stay in here until next Saturday, and that no one should go near me or else I may get contaminated too.

But this whole thing really does just let me know how lucky I’ve been. To have had such a good life, and have been healthy, and loved, and with such good and loyal friends like Eric. I sure hope I’ll be able to go back to that soon.

DAY 6

Now I’m writing from what I think is an old refrigerator or cabinet? Eric rushed into the bomb shelter a few hours ago to get us away from the new hungry cannibals. He put a box over my head to protect me from the toxins, so I can’t say myself what happened. Eric told me that there were dead bodies everywhere, and everything was a destroyed mess. That I didn’t want to see what was there. But then he got bitten by a cannibal while saving us from it. He started to crave human flesh, so he quickly put me inside of here. Just before Eric left, I told him he was the best friend in the whole world. I mean it.

DAY 7

Oh, I hate Eric so much! That asshole tricked me again! Turns out the whole damn disaster was a big trick so he could go to Casa Bonita! Does he have any respect for me or Kyle or anyone? It’s not like his fat ass needs all that food either! My mom and dad and the whole town were looking for me, and Eric was just hiding me away while telling me all those scary things!

And it’s all my fault. I fell for his tricks again. I should have known that he didn’t mean well. Why am I so clueless? And I know I’ll never learn my lesson either. Why do I keep trusting Eric when I know he only wants to get his way?

Good night.

It’s just a hug

Linda Stoch

All requests from @Zaquarvious @HeidiTurnerStan , and @FrisktheRookie ! Everyone feel free to give more suggestions below!

(Sorry He looks strange, this is as close as I can get to his large, muscular body type)

Both moms are named Linda, and Steve is short for Stephen/Steven. Am I the first person to notice this?