based on the trailer, as well as my obsessive disposition towards wild extrapolation, these are my predictions:

canada conquers america

canada is really upset about the minecraft movie, as it slanders their mining industry, and their national sport of chicken jockeying. so they decide to invade the united states, and replace its government with a new one, which randy volunteers to run, and is made premier of what is now canada's south territory. randy goes musk mode, and immediately starts laying people off. kids then get inducted as the new cheap labor force that replaces everyone more qualified. meanwhile, the canadian prime minister from season 19 comes back to life and wins the canadian election, and he will be the main trump surrogate moving forward.

garrison gets severed

mr. garrison is quickly deposed as president during the war, but continues to grapple with his identity issues. and i'll just say his arc will begin as a 'severance' parody, where 'president garrison' likes to poop at diddy parties, while normal garrison still tries to make it work with rick. but as things devolve, this ends up as as a 'the substance' parody instead (ps. watch the substance, its great).

pc principle turns maga

pc principle and strong woman get fired, and pc principle must navigate a job market that no longer respects his woke ideals or qualifications, where all the hr departments are now headed by children. he gradually gets disillusioned and becomes a redneck, and "they took our jarbs!" becomes his new mantra. meanwhile strong woman becomes a traditional stay at home mom.

dogpoo has a speaking role

each of the 'lil' qties' ends up in a position of authority. while butters manages flight control, clyde is put in charge of public health, scott malkinson leads forestry management, red is the school superintendent, betsy works for homeland security, and dogpoo will be the chief health inspector. while working as a fry cook, pc principle will attempt to wash his hands with soap, and dogpoo will give him a citation for it because he thinks soap is gross.

the boys get deported

the new government starts deporting criminals off-world using space-x rockets. they end up escaping a maximum security prison on marklar and terrorizing the local population. meanwhile, the boys get swept up in indiscriminate ice raids along with katy perry, and they all get rocketed off to marklar as well. randy tries to get them back, but finds that the government has become too incompetent to control anymore. the boys meet up with marvin, and help him and his people return to earth.

mrbeast rebuilds the town

the first scene of episode 2 will be the town already on fire as the new child firefighters are unable to contain it. mrbeast later shows up to town to help rebuild and replant trees. this then attracts many other internet personalities who show up to milk the situation for content. most of the town finds these people more annoying than dealing with their houses burning down in the first place.

cartman's mom is pregnant

in the obligatory liane vs eric episode, cartman finds out his mom is pregnant, and first tries to convince her to get an abortion, but then learns that the father is actually mrbeast. cartman then tries to take advantage of the situation to extort mrbeast for money, but finds himself doing challenges for him instead for a chance to make even more money. but then liane has a miscarriage and through a loophole in the contract, it means that cartman can't keep any of the money.

kyle lays eggs

due to the egg shortage, mephesto decides to genetically modify chickens to have multiple cloacas. but then they get a bird flu outbreak, and the virus rna combines with the crispr modification rna, which then jumps to humans and infects kyle, turning him into a chicken who is constantly pooping out eggs. this leads to the government intentionally infecting people and taking them to factory farms in order to solve the egg shortage. shelley babysits and gets dragged along on the boys' adventure to find a cure. and calls kyle a "bird turd" along the way.

the super best friends need tech support

with all of them being super-boomers, they didn't realize they needed to update windows, and moses got infected with a virus as a result. the boys are brought on to teach them basic computer skills, and repeatedly explain to jesus that the ai images of himself that he keeps liking on facebook are not actually him. cartman likes the new version of moses, and they both bully kyle for being antisemitic for saying that there's anything wrong with new moses.