What if the boys are the four horsemen of the apocalypse?

This would explain the constant apocalyptic events in South Park that the boys are often central in, as well as their connections to so many high tier government officials and supernatural creatures. Cartman obviously comes front and center as War, constantly provoking and dividing people, and even in a trademark red coat. Kenny is Pestilence, living in poverty and squalor and on many occasions contracting deadly diseases or doing incredibly unsanitary things. Kyle (unfortunately a weak link) is Famine, just instead of being literally starved he is starved morally, constantly forced to observe all the heinous things his friends do but unable to stop them despite trying. Finally, we have Stan as the pale horseman, Death. Often announcing Kennys death, leading the group yet often being soft spoken and in the back. He also is depicted as being the most natural one of them all.

It’s been a long time. Does anyone even remember theories 1-18? Should I repost?

Anyway…. how do you feel about this fun theory?