I realize that I posted about a day or so ago that I wanted to distance myself from this site for the time being, as well as the South Park fandom, yet the many kind comments I received from you all made me understand how genuine some of the connections I have made on here truly are. As you may all know, I struggle with personal issues involving mostly anxiety and OCD, which can lead me to be much more susceptible to self-doubt than most.

I also have trust issues at times due to past wounds I have yet to heal, which has led me to want to focus on my mental health for the time being. Still, I have met some of the nicest people on this wiki and it truly saddens me to lose touch and contact with many of them. I think the administrators and moderators on this website are doing a great job at maintaining a positive sentiment between users and keeping things running smoothly, and I appreciate that. I came to conclude that running away from my problems is not always the best solution, as I need to be a stronger person and learn to take things as they come and confront reality head on.

I can’t allow every negative remark to ruin my day or take a toll on my self-esteem and need to learn to adapt to all kinds of people. In a similar way, I also realized that I need to stop pushing people away with my own insecurities and let myself be cared about genuinely by others, realizing that I am just as worthy of love and acceptance as anyone else can be. If it doesn’t bother you guys too much, I would like to return to this wiki and keep on contributing positively towards you guys. It feels great to be connected with someone and I truly do need a friend at the moment.

As @HeidiTurnerStan suggested, perhaps my real life Hannah Quigley is just around the corner without my realizing it, but for time being, I am glad to simply be able to share my thoughts and views with you guys. I also apologize for causing a dramatic scene a few days back and seeming as if I wanted to draw attention to myself, which was not my intention by any means. I’ll also keep in mind that these characters are entirely fictional and try not to take what happens in South Park too seriously, as at the end of the day, I have to remember this is just a show. I’m sorry for fixating too much on Scott Malkinson as well and potentially seeming creepy in my obsession with him. I tend to get emotionally attached to characters fairly easily and sometimes forget momentarily that they aren’t real. Perhaps I sometimes project qualities of my personal self onto them and use them as a way to fill a void in my heart in a way. Who knows? Maybe one day, the reason I tend to do this will become clearer to me.

I know I have a long way to go to become emotionally healthier and that I need to work on loving myself and having better self-esteem, but I just wanted to let you all know that mean a lot to me. I’ve reconsidered my past decision and realized I want to return.