You Have 0 Friends

"You Have 0 Friends" is the fourth episode of Season Fourteen, and the 199th overall episode of South Park. It aired on Comedy Central on April 7, 2010.

Synopsis
Kyle adds Kip Drordy as a "friend" on Facebook, due to Kip being the only person in South Park not have any friends. This causes all of his old friends to desert him. Kyle's situation is so desperate, he seeks help from Cartman. Meanwhile, Stan literally gets sucked into Facebook after attempting to delete his account with 845,000 "friends".

Plot
While at Kyle's house, Cartman mockingly states that he has more Facebook friends than Kyle does, which Kyle is stunned by, as does the fact that Kenny has 62 friends while he only has 37. Stan arrives at Kyle's house, only to cause Stan to tell his friends that he has no interest in Facebook and wants nothing to do with it. Kyle attempts to convince Stan of how great Facebook is by talking about its assorted features like a farming game (based on Farmville) and Yahtzee. However, Stan continues to firmly state he doesn't want a Facebook page. As such he finds himself infuriated to discover that Kyle and Cartman made him one. Cartman advises Stan to get with it or suffer as someone who has no Facebook friends, like a kid named Kip Drordy. Stan becomes fed up at last and leaves to play Xbox, while Kyle feeling bad for Kip, decides to add him as a friend. Kip, accepting the friend request is over-joyed, and tells his parents all about his new friend's interests and how he wants "the world to stop talking about ninjas."

When Randy discovers Stan's page, he begins to pester Stan with complaining of "So...We're not friends?" causing Stan to add him, if only to shut up his father. Kyle meanwhile rapidly starts to lose friends as a result of adding Kip. When Wendy discovers Stan's Facebook, she become furious that Stan lied to her about having one, didn't add her as a friend and that his relationship status is single, despite Stan's attempts to explain the situation to her, fueling his already existing hatred for Facebook. While updating his profile, he finds that Cartman has a podcast on Facebook that tells people how to get friends, which friends people should add, and that people should stop being friends with Kyle because Kyle is friends with Kip. As a result, people that are already friends with Kyle de-friend him, only leaving him with 1 friend, Kip. And he then proceeds to beg Stan (in the most pathetic manner possible) to be his Facebook friend.

Although Kyle is miserable, Kip is overjoyed at having his first and only friend, and apparently views it as something far more. He begins to address Kyle as his best friend, and repeats all of Kyle's Facebook status to his parents, who share his excitement that their son has friend, though appear to be unaware this friend of his is only online.

When Stan doesn't pay attention to his Facebook status, it results in people getting mad at him for ignoring them, even one person spits on him. All the friends of his friends add him. Wendy in particularly becomes furious because one of his female friends saw pictures of him in a bunny costume despite the woman being a friend of his grandmother's at 92 year of age, while Randy bullies Stan into adding and checking Grandma Marsh's status more often. Stan eventually gets over 845,000 friends, without trying, and he continues to tired of dealing with Facebook. It gets so bad that he final decides to try to delete his account only to find that his computer won't let him and he literally gets absorbed into his computer, via the web camera. He finds himself in a digital world similar to the 1982 film, Tron. He finds himself unable to talk to random people who either ignore him or request him to be their friend. Stan gets angry that he's done exactly what he warned everyone about, he got sucked into Facebook.

Meanwhile in the real world, eager to get friends Kyle goes to Cartman for help to get more Facebook friends. Cartman seems more than happy to help Kyle (even calling him his friend later on), and suggests that Kyle unfriend Kip. Kyle is reluctant to do so out of guilt for Kip's lack of friends, and so Cartman then tells Kyle about Chat Roulette. Together the pair of them go on "Chatroulette" to get friends, but it only shows various men masturbating in front of their webcams.

Back in the digital world of Facebook, Stan is 'arrested' by Facebook avatars, who pit him in battle against another user. However, rather doing anything cool, he ends up having to play Yahtzee with some random person. Stan wins in one throw with Yahtzee causing his opponent to apparently be killed via digital deletion. Stan then escapes the Avatar in charge and goes in search of answers.

Meanwhile after many more hours of searching "Chat Roulette", Cartman finds someone who isn't masturbating on Facebook. The person happens to be a Jewish boy who agrees to become Kyle's new Facebook friend. All the while, Kip continues to try and maintain his 'friendship' with Kyle, by taking his computer around with him, such as to the movies, where he laughs obnoxiously and takes photos of himself with his computer.

Kyle, enjoying his new Facebook friend, plays on his Facebook farm and is shocked to see Stan appear. After calling him an asshole, Stan demands that Kyle help him by pulling up his Facebook status. Apparently Stan's Facebook page has taken on a life of its own and is holding a online chat with all his friends. As Stan goes off to figure out what's going on, Kyle discovers that his new Jewish friend from Chat Roulette has removed him from his friend's list due to Kyle's friendship with Kip. The forces Kyle to finally decides to remove Kip from his friend's list or else risk being a permanent Facebook outcast. He sends Kip a 'good-bye' message, that causes Kip to return into his state of depression.

Stan finally arrives at the 'chat party' and finds that his profile has become a giant sentient monster of a being and appears to working without him. Stan's profile then challenges him to a game of Yahtzee in which again Stan wins only one roll. The win results in Stan being returned to the real world, and he immediately deletes his page. Randy is disappointed that Stan is not friends with him and attempts whining again in the hopes that Stan will re-friend him. Stan however tells him to "fuck off" and that his profile went rogue and sent all of his friends somewhere else. Kip, staring blankly at his Facebook, is exhilarated to find that in the blink of an eye, he now has 845,323 friends.