Probably

"Probably" is episode 58 of the Comedy Central series South Park. It originally aired on July 26, 2000. It is the second part of a two-part episode, the first being "Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?"

Plot
In this episode, the South Park children build a church to live in sinlessness, and do not go to school, avoid home as much as possible, and listen earnestly to Cartman, who acts like a televangelist-esque preacher. Meanwhile, Kenny calls from Ensenada, Mexico (about 60 miles (95 km) south of Tijuana on the Baja California peninsula) where the bus he was run over by dragged him and which he thinks is hell, and tells about the "Underworld" for Cartman's sermons: "that everyone in Hell speaks Spanish, that in Hell there is water, but if you drink it you will bleed out your ass for seven hours, and there are a lot of trinket stores that all sell the same trinkets."

Meanwhile, in the real Hell, Satan sleeps with Saddam. He then tells Chris about what happened. Chris forgives Satan, which actually upsets Satan more. Satan screams at Chris saying that he wishes that he would at least be angry at what happened. Then, Chris and Saddam keep getting into fights, which lead to the two murdering each other; nevertheless, they keep reappearing in Hell to kill each other again, and Satan wonders if he should be with Saddam, whom he finds sexually attractive, or Chris, who is kinder. A little girl in Hell suggests that he ask God for help.

Satan goes and sees God in Heaven (which is occupied solely by Mormons); God calls Satan a pussy himself for complaining about such a problem, saying to him, "You got kicked out of here for being a headstrong rebel. And now you're a whiny little bitch." God further tells Satan that he should dump them both and try to learn to appreciate himself before he tries to find a relationship.

Back in South Park, Cartman reveals to Stan and Kyle that he, in fact, only opened the church to con kids out of money, and not out of religious fervor (according to him, people can easily be forgiven by God). Sister Anne then manages to disband Cartman's church by having Jesus come and close it. As punishment for his sins, Cartman is sent somewhere worse than Hell, Mexico, and happens to meet Kenny at the bus stop. A similar event happens in Hell, when even after Satan explains his intent to be single, Saddam continues to harass him, the Devil reveals that he has "Asked an old friend for a favor", and Saddam is forced to go live up in Heaven with the Mormons. This, to him, is Hell.

Cultural References

 * During the "previously on South Park" recap at the beginning of the episode, a reference is made to the Happy Days episode where Fonzie jumped the shark.
 * The repeated line throughout this episode, "Yeah, well, where was I going to go? Detroit?" was from the 1970s cult film Kentucky Fried Movie.
 * When Cartman says "the tooth fairy thing didn't work" it's a reference to "The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000".
 * Cartman also says "the boy band thing didn't last"; it's a reference to the episode, "Something You Can Do With Your Finger".
 * The organist for the children's church is Schroeder from the Peanuts comics.
 * God claims he's a Buddhist.
 * The way Cartman acts in his church is very similar to how famed evangelist Marjoe Gortner used to act as seen in the film Marjoe.
 * The young girl of whom Satan asks advice about his lovers resembles JonBenet Ramsey.
 * Cartmans actions after opening his church are most likely are reference to Peter Popoff.

Quotes

 * [Cartman is warning the other children about Hell]
 * Ms. Cartman: Poopikins, it's time to stop preaching damnation to everyone, sweetie!




 * [Cartman preaching behind the schoool]
 * Cartman: Many of you knew Kenny McCormick. He was a playful school-going 8 year old. And then yesterday, he was smacked down by the Lord! God bitch slapped him right down to the fiery depths of hell!




 * [Kenny has arrived in Mexico]
 * Kenny: [mumbling] Where am I?
 * Mexican: Qué?
 * Kenny: [mumbling] WHERE AM I?
 * Mexican: Qué?




 * [Cartman preaching in Church]
 * Cartman: Friends. I have to tell you that last night I received a phone call from beyond the grave.
 * Children: gasp
 * Cartman: It was our departed friend, Kenny, calling from the depths of hell and he described what hell is like in horrid detail. He said that in hell, the smell is awful. He says that in hell... Everyone speaks SPANISH!
 * Children: gasp
 * Cartman: He said there is water in hell, but if you drink it you pee blood out your ass for SEVEN HOURS!
 * Children: gasp
 * Cartman: And perhaps worst of all, in hell there are dozens and dozens of little trinket stores, but they all have the SAME little trinkets in them!
 * Children: gasp




 * Random Protestant: Hey, wait a minute, I was a complete and devout Protestant. I thought we got into Heaven?
 * Hell Orientation Director: Yes, well, I'm afraid you were wrong.
 * Random Jehovah's Witness: I was a practicing Jehovah's Witness.
 * Hell Orientation Director: You picked the wrong religion as well.
 * Random Orientation Attendee: Well, who was right? Who got into Heaven?
 * Hell Orientation Director: I'm afraid it was the MORMONS. Mormons were the correct answer.
 * Orientation Attendees: (collective groan)




 * Chris: Satan!
 * Satan: Chris!
 * (they run to embrace each other)
 * Satan: But I thought Saddam killed you?
 * Chris: Well, yeah, where was I going to go, Detroit?




 * God: [after hearing Satan's story] Jesus, what the hell happened to you?
 * Satan: Huh?
 * God: You got kicked out of here for being a headstrong rebel. And now you're a whiny little bitch.