Trapped in the Closet

"Trapped in the Closet" is the twelfth episode of the ninth season of South Park.

The show became controversial due to its portrayal of Scientology in the episode, in particular in its treatment of famous Scientologist Tom Cruise.

Synopsis
After taking a personality test in an attempt to find something that was "fun and free," Stan discovers that he is the reincarnation of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

Plot
When Stan doesn't go with the rest of his friends to play video games, attempting to save up money for a new bike, he runs across some Scientologists, who encourage him to take a free personality test. Stan starts to question whether Scientology is a "religion," which the auditors try to avoid. The auditor, after asking Stan a series of questions, makes the assessment that Stan is "one messed up kid."

Stan, depressed at dinner, asks his parents for the money to go through auditing, telling his parents that he was depressed and didn't know it. Randy tells him to use his bike money if he wants the auditing so bad.

After Stan goes through his auditing session, the auditor gives his results to his boss, who sends them to the home office. The head of Scientology concludes that Stan is the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard.

The president of Scientology visits Stan's home, and tells his family the news. Randy sends Stan up to his room while he talks with the Scientology people. When Stan goes to his room, he encounters Tom Cruise, who asks him what he thought of his movies. Stan said he thought they were okay, but hints that he thinks the Napoleon Dynamite guy was a better actor. Cruise gets upset and locks himself in Stan's closet, resulting in the running joke of "Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!"

The head of Scientology tells Stan that he will tell him the secrets of Scientology, which he kicks Stan's family out of the room so they will not hear. He then tells him the Xenu story (which is played out on the sreen with the words "This is what Scientologists Actually Believe" on the bottom of the screen). The head of Scientology tells Stan that his job is to write new doctrine for the church, and when Stan tells him he did not know how to do it, the president tells Stan that Hubbard did not know either.

As he is writing, the whole town has gotten involved in trying to get Tom Cruise out of the closet. John Travolta, another famous Scientologist, is called in, but he also ends up in the closet with Cruise. During the newscast R. Kelly (singing like he did in "Trapped in the Closet") randomly sings then pulls out his gun. Nicole Kidman is brought in to try to coax him out of the closet, to no avail. R. Kelley is also called in, but also finds himself in the closet as well.

As Stan is writing the documents, Kyle and Cartman pay Stan a visit at home. Kyle tries to talk to Stan about the truth of Hubbard, but Stan will not listen.

Stan presents his new levels to the president, telling him what is in them. When he says that Scientologists should not have to pay for services anymore, the president talks to him inside and tells him the truth -- Scientology is a big scam. And he tells Stan that he can't tell anyone that it is.

When Stan tries to read his documents to the followers outside, he can't do it, and proeeds to tell everyone that it is a big scam. This gets all the Scientologists angry with him, and the president tells him that he will sue Stan for saying that their religion is a scam. In the meantime, Cruise, Travolta and R. Kelley have come out of the closet, and Cruise tells Stan, "I'll sue you in England!" Stan proceeds to shout after them, "Go ahead! Sue me! I dare you!"

The credits roll, with everyone named as "John Smith" or "Jane Smith."

Trivia

 * In a planned re-run of this episode, it was suddenly pulled after Issac Hayes, the voice actor for Chef suddenly quit the show. It was rumored that the episode was pulled because Cruise threatened to pull his support for "Mission Impossible III." (Comedy Central is part of Viacom, which also owns Paramount Pictures). Comedy Central said that the episode was pulled in order to do a tribute to actor Hayes after his announcement. The episode has since re-aired.
 * Chef does not appear in this episode. Issac Hayes, who did his voice, is a Scientologist. He left soon before the planned re-run of the episode, allegedly because of his displeasure with the episode. His comments were only given by a Scientologist spokesperson. At this time, Fox News columnist Roger Friedman was reporting that the real reason Hayes left was because of an alleged stroke and was not in a condition to quit on his own.