Conjoined Fetus Lady

"Conjoined Fetus Lady" is episode 205 of Comedy Central's series South Park. It originally aired on June 3, 1998.

Plot
In this episode, the boys meet Nurse Gollum, the South Park Elementary nurse. They are horrified to discover, however, that she has a dead fetus attached to her face, due to a (fictional) condition called "Conjoined Twin Myslexia." Upon hearing about this and the boys making fun of her, Kyle's mom Sheila decides to help the woman, and winds up causing a "Conjoined Twin Myslexia Week" declared in South Park for its sole sufferer.

Meanwhile, the school dodgeball team becomes eligible for competitions, and goes on to fight the State Competition in Denver, the Nationals in Washington, D.C., and finally goes to China for the World Championship. In the State competition, South Park is able to win because Pip, the British exchange student, becomes filled with rage whenever kids incorrectly call him "French", giving him the strength to take down the other team. In the National competition, the Washington, D.C. team forfeits because of their fear of the inevitable international opponent, China. In China, South Park discovers the Chinese kids to be unstoppable, and the team is crushed until only Pip remains.

Pip, however, manages to win when the one of the kids tricks the Chinese into calling him French; he singlehandedly decimates the entire Chinese team, but by this point everyone has decided they don't want to play dodgeball anyway and he gets no credit for it. Back home, the townspeople have donned hats that make them appear to have fetuses on their faces, held a parade for Nurse Gollum and videotaped her constantly. She angrily declares that she does not want any extra attention or special treatment, and that by doing so they make her feel singled out. She says she only wants to be harassed and ridiculed just like everybody else in the town and storms away. The adults think she is ungrateful, but the kids begin to question if the fetus actually makes her smarter.

Kenny's Death
Smashed into a wall by a ball thrown during the world dodgeball championship in China.

Trivia

 * The three calligraphy scrolls hanging at the back of the training gym in China contain typical Chinese swear phrases. They are "操你老妈", meaning "fuck your mom"; "野种", meaning "bastard", and "她妈的", which means "her mum's".
 * There is no condition named Conjoined Twin Myslexia. There is a condition, parasitic twins, in which two fetuses develop into a single viable human being. The vestigial fetus is either absorbed into the host's body ("fetus in fetu") or develops externally. The latter condition is usually treated with pre- or neonatal surgery.
 * The Chinese sports announcers are reminiscent of the ones at the football game in Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride. They make endless tasteless jokes and one of them finally says, "You're going to get us in trouble again".
 * In the opening scene, after Clyde gets knocked out, Stan says, "Jordan, Swanson, pull forward! We need backup!" A boy and a girl walk forward, the boy later known as Butters
 * This is the first episode in which Pip gives in to anger. Previously he is inhumanly forgiving to even the worst abuse.
 * Kenny wears the number 69 on his jersey, a reference to a sexual position and his perverted nature. Cartman wears number 325, the biggest number on the team. Also when Cartman is knocked out, the Chinese announcer says, "Oooh, another American is down! It's number... oh I dunno all Americans look alike!" a jab at how many Americans think Asian people all look the same.
 * Cartman's line "Sure! Captain Ahab has to get his whale, huh?" is an almost direct quote from Star Trek: First Contact, which in turn is a reference to Herman Melville's novel Moby-Dick.
 * Somehow the South Park Cows manage to take a bus to China.
 * In the book that Kyle's mom shows the boys, one of the pictures is a meld of Micky Dolenz and Mike Nesmith, of the Monkees.
 * Nurse Gollum is an obvious reference to the hideously deformed hobbit in The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
 * At one point, Kyle is giving Pip French insults, but then calls him a "limey", a derogatory term for a Briton.
 * Nurse Gollum's speech: "Thank you mayor. I don't know what to say. This has been quite a week. What I really wanna say is... Well, this may sound odd coming from a woman with a fetus sticking out of her head, but... You're all a bunch of freaks. Don't you realize that last thing I ever wanted was to be singled out. I just wanted to do my job and live my life like any normal person, but instead you've made everybody focus on my handicap all week long. Look, I don't wanna be treated different. I don't wanna be treated special or treated gingerly. I just wanna be ridiculed, shouted at and made fun of like the rest of you do to each other. And take the stupid things off your heads."
 * The Chinese Announcers made a brief cameo at the end of South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut in the crowd scene.

Quotes

 * [The conjoined twin song.]
 * You've got the strength, you've got the courage
 * Even with a dead fetus on your head
 * Carry on, you fight for tomorrow
 * Dead fetus or no, you'll never let go
 * You're my conjoined twin, dead thing hangin' off your head woman.''




 * Cartman: My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.




 * Cartman: I love you guys.
 * [Stan and Kyle stare at Cartman during a long pause.]
 * Cartman: Ah, screw you guys.




 * Nurse Gollum: Well, this may sound odd coming from a woman with a fetus sticking out of her head, but you're all a bunch of freaks.




 * Gerald Broflovski: Could you please pass the dead fetus? I mean gravy!