Dances with Smurfs

"Dances With Smurfs" is the thirteenth episode of Season Thirteen, and the 194th overall episode of South Park. It aired on November 11, 2009.

Synopsis
Eric Cartman seizes the opportunity to become the voice of change at the school when he takes over the morning announcements. His target is South Park Elementary’s Student Body President, Wendy Testaburger. Cartman is asking the tough questions and gaining followers.

Plot
During the morning, the ginger boy, Gordon Stoltski, is killed while performing the announcements due to confusion with another man who had an affair with the killer's wife. Mr. Mackey leads the school body in a memorial service for little Gordon and asks for someone to replace him. Eric Cartman pulls a dirty trick on his best competitor, Casey Miller from 3rd grade, to win the competition to take over the announcements. The next day he calls out Student Body President Wendy Testaburger and with each passing day despite teacher protests, continues slamming her and referring to her as communist or "a socialist dunghole". When Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey confront Cartman extending the morning announcement time (Cartman asks why Gordon's last announcement time was five minutes longer,Mr. Mackey answers because he was being murdered), Cartman gets government officials to inspect the school who is denying free speech of children. This gets Butters attention and throughout the episode he gets drawn further into Cartmans machinations. Eventually Eric gets TVs installed into classrooms to do the professional looking EC Show. He says "I am a normal kid like all of you and as a normal kid I ask questions" then states unfounded attacks against Wendy using loaded questions. He walks to a chalkboard with KILL SMURFS down the two columns. They stand for: Keywords:, Integrated, Leftist, Liberal, and Socialist, Modern, Utopian, Reformed, Farce, School. Which is what he suggests is what Wendy wants to do.

Eric refers to Butters Stotch as "Another person who cares about the future of our school", then sets up a table in the school hall and sell his book for $5 a piece. The book is over 500 pages of ripping on Wendy. Stan reads a passage of sexually explicit rumors about Wendy and Eric tells him to turn the page where he writes "or does she?" (More usage of the loaded question). Stan later goes up to Wendy to tell her what he feels about the incident, only to have Wendy rebuff him. When the teachers of the school tell him to stop, he says "You're a lackey, Mackey!" and leaves the school, but returns the next day, weaving a story of how he chose to live with the gentle smurfs. In this story Cartman paints his face blue, wears a Smurf costume with his bare chest showing. The Smurfs teach him to pick Smurf berries and he falls in love with Smurfette. A very fat Wendy (Cartman in drag) comes to destroy Smurf village because the Smurf berries can power the school for a whole year. She runs down the Smurfs and their village in graphic cartoon violence. Cartman again uses a fallacy to convince the kids it all happened by saying "Go ahead and look outside, you won't see any Smurfs!" All of this is documented in Eric's new DVD: Dances with Smurfs.

Butters infatuation with Eric's views brings him to call the first cry of rebellion against Wendy. Butters organizes a group with similar t-shirts that state: "I ask questions" and leads the group to Wendy's house. There he climbs her steps and pisses on Wendy's front door (and her father when he answers it) telling her to go on the EC show and defend herself. The next morning, Cartman is seated opposite Wendy and the sides of his hair has been dyed gray. He tells her he will take it easy on her yet begins with more loaded questions. He starts "How many Smurf berries is the life of each Smurf worth?" "If a Smurf dies when no one else is around does it still scream?"

Wendy turns the table with her own loaded questions, "Do you know how much power a single Smurf berry can generate?", and spinning a story about her plan to get someone on the inside of Smurf Village. She asks Cartman if he knew they would die and claims she has written a book, Going Rogue on the Smurfs, where she describes all the dirty details about the plan and how she used Eric on the inside to take down the Smurfs. She claims that she has already sold the movie rights to James Cameron. She steps down and gives Eric the class presidency. Cartman runs to the theater to find James Cameron's Avatar playing and screams in dismay. Since Eric, as the class president, is not allowed to also do the morning announcements he sits in class and listens to Casey Miller as he takes over the morning announcer job and scathingly criticizes Eric as class president. The episode ends with Cartman leaving the room crying bitterly.