User blog:Manic The Hedgehog/My Future on South Park Archives

In lieu of a community update for this month, I have opted for a slightly less exciting blog post, one people probably don't want to read. I'd be lying if I said I was 100%, in fact I'm quite the opposite. I'm a bit burnt out.

There are several parts to this problem, the first being that I simply cannot keep up anymore. Admittedly, I am quite picky when it comes to how things are organized, organization in general, and the use of the English language. This has devolved into me looking at every single edit which comes through the activity, more so it has caused internal conflicts, which, in turn, are the reasons why I am the only active admin. I am passionate about South Park, and I really want this wiki to succeed, but perhaps I am going too overboard with it.

The second reason is that I am probably alienating good editors, such as those who are active and newbies. Contribwhim, for example, is a fantastic new editor. I feel that my being burnt out, coupled with my wanting to be as active as I always was, is causing me to hold this wiki back, severely. This is a huge issue because this wiki shouldn't revolve around my schedule, no matter convenient it is when it does.

The third reason is that this wiki is a huge time sink for me. And by "huge", I mean gigantic. I am always connected to this wiki, at pretty much all times of the day. This is an issue because it's detracting from my wanting to do other things. Other things such as video games, something I, ironically, rarely do these days. For example, I wanted to play Gravity Rush, but still haven't. I could list other things, but needless to say, it's impacting negatively.

The fourth, and is more related to the second, is that there are probably some users, both inactive and active, that plain just don't want me here anymore. Probably those who have left the wiki more than others. And I can understand that, and feel free to jump for joy at this slightly depressing blog post.

The fifth reason, and this is absolutely an important reason, is that I believe this is starting to affect my being a South Park fan. It's not that I'm losing faith in the show, or that I'm starting to dislike it, it's that I'm more associating my experience with it to this wiki, something I am not enjoying right now, rather than associating it to when times were much simpler.

If I we're to retire, it would be because of me. No matter how seemingly frustrated or annoyed I may appear, I never am and I would never leave because of any of you. Before, I'd have someone to talk to about this, that way it would be resolved in private, but I done messed that up too. Part of me wants to leave because I'm burnt out. I'm not having fun, I'm affecting others, and I'm probably not fun to interact with. The other part of me wants to stay because I feel obligated to make the wiki look good, I have to help and encourage others to be great editors, and I know that this wiki can be A LOT of fun, especially when I get to interact with such great people.

I strongly just want to let go right now. I also strongly want to stay. Both choices are unfair to the wiki, from what I hear. Maybe it is time to take the hat off. Maybe I'm overwhelmed. For instance, the episode plots need to be checked, all the trivia pages need to be redone, there are a ton of pages to be made, Season 16B, replace some episodes' images, and general moderation, etc, etc, etc. There's also the stigma that if I don't stay active, my place on the wiki will diminish.

I want to get your input on this matter. You may say that I've been active for 262 continuous days and that I should perhaps take a break. This isn't really an option, for various reasons. I have felt this way for about a month or two now and it gets progressively worse.

This isn't a jab at anyone here. I'm the problem, not you.