Mr. Mackey

Mr. Mackey, Jr. is the elementary school counselor at South Park Elementary. He also serves on the City Council as head of Public Health. His first name has not been revealed but it is likely his first name is the same as his father's because he is referred to as "Junior" by his father in "Child Abduction is Not Funny".

Singing
Mr. Mackey is known to have a talent in signing and has sung the following songs:
 * In "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics", Mr Mackey sings Carol of the Bells.
 * In "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut", Mr Mackey sings his own song "It's Easy, Mmm'kay" to his students to stop them from swearing.
 * In "I'm a Little Bit Country", he sings the episodes final song with other South Park townspeople.
 * In "Royal Pudding", he is shown to be in charge of a play for the Kindergartners, involving helping their singing.

Appearance
He wears a green shirt, blue tie, blue jeans, and blue shoes. His hair is black, and thinning. He wears large, black-rimmed glasses. He is well known for his exaggeratedly large Balloon head. It has been implied in "Ike's Wee Wee" that his head's size is caused by the tightness of his tie. Yet, in "Child Abduction is Not Funny", his parents are shown to have the same condition (though this might simply be because they all tie their ties too tightly.) However, in "Proper Condom Use", his tie is removed before he and Ms. Choksondik have intercourse, and his head remains the same size. This may simply be a continuity error or a goof or perhaps his tie would have to be removed for a limited time his head to shrink.

Personality
Mr. Mackey is one of the few relatively sensible and level-headed adults in South Park. He has occasionally taught classes at the school, and taught sex education with Ms. Choksondik. After her death, he took over the fourth grade class until Mr. Garrison returned. During a drug-education class, he passes some marijuana around the classroom, and it was stolen (apparently by one of the children, though it is later revealed that the actual thief was Mr. Garrison). For this, Mr. Mackey is fired by the school, and evicted by his landlord, and, feeling depressed, he ends up taking drugs himself. He hates it when the children at the school defecate in the urinals, and has used at least seven different terms for the word "crap", including "mud monkey" and "chocolate corn/hot dog". He also enjoys messing with pranksters and is a prankster himself as seen in "Summer Sucks". He sides with the "Rock n' Roll" side in "I'm a Little Bit Country", but is later seen as a John McCain supporter in "About Last Night...". He isn't very proficient with computers, as seen in "The Ungroundable". In "How to Eat with Your Butt", Mackey suggests to Cartman he should pursue a career writing for the show Friends, showing he's not a fan of the show.

It is revealed in "Insheeption", Mackey is a hoarder as a result of intense psychological trauma as a child. Mackey is shown as a timid fourth grader in 1974 who is bullied by a group of children led by Billy Thompson. It is also revealed that Mackey was a fan of Woodsy Owl, who at the end of the a field trip during his fourth grade year, molested Mackey. His "give a hoot, don't pollute" message stuck in Mackey's mind as he repressed the memory, causing his hoarding tendencies.

Mrs. Mackey
In "Ike's Wee Wee", after he became an outcast for supposedly giving drugs to the children, Mr. Mackey met up with a young female drug addict, who invited him to her house to fingerpaint. He accepted, and a short while later, at her place, she said they should get married and have their honeymoon in India. He agreed, but then he was rescued by the A-Team who put him into rehab. His wife has never been seen since as she was left in India. A goof is that in "Proper Condom Use", he states that the last time he had sex was 21 years ago (which accounts for his age as he also mentions he was 19 at the time). However, he clearly had sex with Mrs. Mackey. However, this is clearly backed up by the fact that he was high, so he couldn't remember it, like in "Proper Condom Use".

Liane Cartman
Mr. Mackey is seen flirting with Liane Cartman in "Cat Orgy" at his meteor shower party. When Cartman calls his mother to complain about Shelly Marsh, who is watching him, she appears to not hear him and provides no help.

In "Something You Can Do with Your Finger", Cartman finds a tape that was recorded between his mother and Mackey, where he was her sex slave and had to drink out of a cup Liane urinated in.

In "Tsst", Mackey had a parent-teacher meeting with Liane, to discuss Cartman's behavior. This led to her bursting into tears, claiming that she's unable control him. After, Mackey suggests calling one of the nanny reality television shows.

Ms. Diane Choksondik
During her introduction in "Fourth Grade", Mr. Mackey finds Ms. Choksondik, like the other teachers, disgusting, especially her sagging breasts. However, in "Proper Condom Use" Ms. Choksondik taught the girls about sex, and Mr. Mackey taught the boys. The two starting to talk personally with each other, and this ultimately led to the two of them having intercourse. Indeed, after Ms. Choksondik's corpse was studied in "The Simpsons Already Did It", Mr. Mackey's semen was found in her stomach. The news reporter explains that the semen was not what killed her, leaving the audience to presume that Ms Choksondik took some irony to her name and died choking on Mr Mackey's penis.

Principal Victoria
He is very often seen with Principal Victoria, even outside of school, but there has never been any concrete evidence that they are in any sort of relationship, other than business, especially since the Principal's husband appeared in "About Last Night...". They do seem to have a friendly, casual relationship, though.

Hot Tub
In "Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub", at his party, Mr Mackey shows his guests his backyard hot tub and says he gets a lot of action because of it, jokingly. It was revealed in "Proper Condom Use" that he hadn't had sex in 21 years (besides with his "wife", when he was drugged).

Quotes
Clyde: "I don't know." Mr. Mackey: "You got a whole school here, Clyde! M'kay? You got over three hundred people that need to use the boys' room. Then, you decide you're gonna be a comedian, m'kay, and pinch one off in the urinal, and leave it layin' there for everyone to have to look at! Okay, okay, you think it's funny, but nobody else does! They gotta walk in that bathroom and see your rancid dook propped up against the back of the urinal like a brown rag doll! Principal Victoria: "Mr. Mackey, Clyde's parents are here." Mr. Mackey: "M'kay, that's good! Let's see what your mom and dad have to say about your little poopscapade! Come on in, please. I'm just trying to get your son to explain why... he would drop a dook in the urinal!" ... "M'kay, m'kay."
 * Mr. Mackey: "Why, Clyde? Why did you do it?"
 * Mr. Mackey: "Drugs are bad, m'kay?"

Trivia

 * Rare among major adult characters, his first name is not revealed, though it's known he has his father's according to "Child Abduction is Not Funny".
 * In "Insheeption", we learn that Mr Mackey was a "level 5 office hoarder", meaning that he had a hoarding disorder (which he was cured of at the end of the episode by his dream therapy).
 * Also in "Insheeption", we learn that he was raped (or at the very least molested) when he was in fourth grade by an anti-littering mascot called Woodsy Owl.
 * He has a verbal tick which causes him to almost always insert the word "m'kay" into his sentences (usually at the end or after a clause.) This is his most well known character trait. He speaks fluent Spanish and inserts "m'bien", the equivalent Spanish word, into his sentences when speaking the language, as shown in "Rainforest Shmainforest".
 * In-keeping with his nervous habits as an adult, he is shown to be a very nervous child in "Insheeption". Aside from his verbal tick, he is shown frequently tapping his knuckles together and behaving quite skittishly; shaking profusely and jumping when talked to. He seems to have had a very traumatic time at school, telling referring to his bedroom as "his happy place" in the same episode.
 * Trey Parker stated on the commentary on the Season 1 DVD that this character was based on his school counselor Mr. Lackey, "[Mr. Lackey used to say], 'Trey, quit fooling around and get back to your school work, m'kay' 'but, now, I'm making millions out of him' ".
 * Mackey is one of only two teachers at South Park Elementary, the other being Mr. Garrison, who have been fired from their jobs but later continued their jobs.
 * It was implied in "Ike's Wee Wee" that his head size is caused by the tightness of his tie. Yet, in "Child Abduction is Not Funny", his parents are shown to have the same condition (though this might simply be because they all tie their ties too tightly.) However, in "Proper Condom Use", his tie is removed before he and Ms. Choksondik have intercourse, and his head remains the same size. This may simply be a continuity error or goof, or perhaps his tie would have to be removed for a limited time his head to shrink.
 * In "Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods", he is shown to possess a mild psychic ability; using a "mild-meld" to discover what's happening to the brainwashed children. This hasn't been used since then.
 * He appears to be on good terms with all of the faculty staff; he and Principal Victoria are shown spending together outside of school, he and Chef appear interact with each other favourably and he was invited to Mackey's meteor shower party in "Cat Orgy" and "Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub", and he frequently tries to help Mr. Garrison with his various mental health problems, going as far as to track down and visit his family to intervene and "save Mr Garrison's life", describing himself as Mr. Garrison's therapist to his father in "World Wide Recorder Concert".
 * In "Child Abduction is Not Funny", his father is seen, but in "Royal Pudding", his father is said to have been dead for two years. Though the episodes aired almost a decade apart, in-universe, they couldn't have taken place more than nine months apart.
 * He seems to hold a grudge against Kyle, as seen in "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo", "Tonsil Trouble", and "Royal Pudding".
 * In "Butterballs", it is revealed that Mr. Mackey has an internet degree.
 * He tends to use euphemisms for various words. In "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo", he used the word "mookystinks" to describe fecal matter, and in "Clubhouses", he would use the words "skylarkings" and "tomfoolery" to describe Stan Marsh's notepassing.

Prominence

 * "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo"
 * "Damien"
 * "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut"
 * "Ike's Wee Wee"
 * "Conjoined Fetus Lady"
 * "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka "
 * "City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)"
 * "Summer Sucks" (heard)
 * "Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls" (cameo)
 * "Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods"
 * "Clubhouses"
 * "Cow Days" (cameo)
 * "Chef Aid" (cameo)
 * "Rainforest Shmainforest"
 * "Spontaneous Combustion"
 * "Jakovasaurs"
 * "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut"
 * "Sexual Harassment Panda"
 * "Cat Orgy"
 * "Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub"
 * "Hooked on Monkey Phonics"
 * "The Red Badge of Gayness"
 * "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics"
 * "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus "
 * "World Wide Recorder Concert"
 * "Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000"
 * "Timmy 2000"
 * "Cherokee Hair Tampons"
 * "Chef Goes Nanners"
 * "Something You Can Do with Your Finger" (in home video)
 * "Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?"
 * "Fourth Grade"
 * "Fat Camp"
 * "The Wacky Molestation Adventure" (cameo)
 * "A Very Crappy Christmas"
 * "Cripple Fight"
 * "Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow"
 * "Proper Condom Use"
 * "Kenny Dies"
 * "Jared Has Aides"
 * "The Simpsons Already Did It"
 * "Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society"
 * "Child Abduction is Not Funny"
 * "The Death Camp of Tolerance"
 * "Toilet Paper"
 * "I'm a Little Bit Country"
 * "Fat Butt and Pancake Head"
 * "Red Man's Greed"
 * "South Park is Gay!"
 * "Butt Out"
 * "Good Times with Weapons" (cameo)
 * "Up the Down Steroid"
 * "Douche and Turd"
 * "Goobacks" (cameo)
 * "Pre-School" (in flashback)
 * "Die Hippie, Die"
 * "Erection Day"
 * "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow"
 * "Trapped in the Closet"
 * "The Return of Chef" (cameo)
 * "Cartoon Wars Part I"
 * "Smug Alert!"
 * "Manbearpig"
 * "Tsst"
 * "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce"
 * "Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy"
 * "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson"
 * "Cartman Sucks"
 * "Le Petit Tourette"
 * "Tonsil Trouble"
 * "Major Boobage"
 * "Canada on Strike"
 * "Eek, A Penis!"
 * "Breast Cancer Show Ever"
 * "About Last Night..."
 * "Elementary School Musical"
 * "The Ungroundable "
 * "Fishsticks"
 * "The F Word"
 * "Dances with Smurfs"
 * "Sexual Healing "(cameo)
 * "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs"
 * "200"
 * "201"
 * "It's a Jersey Thing"
 * "Insheeption"
 * "Funnybot"
 * "Royal Pudding"
 * "T.M.I."
 * "Ass Burgers"
 * "Bass to Mouth"
 * "1%" (cameo)
 * "Butterballs"
 * "Sarcastaball"
 * "Insecurity"
 * "A Nightmare on Face Time"
 * "A Scause For Applause"
 * "World War Zimmerman"
 * "Taming Strange"
 * "Ginger Cow"