Mr. Mackey

Mr. Mackey is the elementary school counselor in South Park. His first name is never revealed but according to "Child Abduction is Not Funny", his first name is the same as his father's, when he is referred to as "Junior", by his father. He also serves on the City Council as head of Public Health.

Appearance
He is well known for his exaggeratedly large Balloon head. It has been implied in "Ike's Wee-Wee" that his head's size is caused by the tightness of his tie. Yet, in "Child Abduction is Not Funny", his parents are shown to have the same condition (though this might simply be because they all tie their ties too tightly.) However, in "Proper Condom Use", his tie is removed before he and Ms. Choksondik have intercourse, and his head remains the same size. This may simply be a continuity error or a goof.


 * He wears a green shirt, blue tie, blue jeans, and blue shoes. His hair is black, and thinning. He wears large, black-rimmed glasses.


 * Starting with "Major Boobage", Mr. Mackey's look changed a lot, mostly evening a lot of things out, much like Mr. Garrison at the end of "Eek, a Penis!", and Jimbo Kern in "Night of the Living Homeless".


 * He is also well known for almost always inserting "M'kay" into his sentences, it being his most popular character trait. He speaks pretty much fluent in Spanish and puts "M'bien" into his sentences instead.


 * Trey Parker stated on the commentary on the season 1 DVD that this character was based on his school counselor, Mr. Lackey, who used to say. "Trey quit fooling around and get back to your school work m'kay." He stated after that, "But now I'm making millions out of him."
 * Mackey is one of only two teachers at South Park Elementary (the other being Mr. Garrison) who have been fired from their jobs but later continued their jobs.

Personality
He has occasionally taught classes at the school, and taught sex education with Ms. Choksondik. After her death, he took over the fourth grade class until Mr. Garrison returned. During a drug-education class, he passes some marijuana around the classroom, and it was stolen (apparently by one of the children, though it is later revealed that the actual thief was Mr. Garrison). For this, Mr. Mackey is fired by the school, and evicted by his landlord, and, feeling depressed, he ends up taking drugs himself. He hates it when the children at the school defecate in the urinals, and has used at least seven different terms for the word "crap", including "mud monkey" and "chocolate corn/hot dog". He also enjoys messing with pranksters. It is revealed that he isn't amused by the TV show Friends, when he jokingly suggests that Cartman should pursue a career writing for it after he claims to have lost his sense of humor in How to Eat with Your Butt. When the town sided rock'n'roll / stop war against country music / continue war in I'm a Little Bit Country, Mackey sided with rock'n'roll. He isn't very proficient with computers as seen in The Ungroundable.

Mrs. Mackey
In Ike's Wee-Wee, after he became an outcast for supposedly giving drugs to the children, Mr. Mackey met up with a young female drug addict, who invited him to her house to fingerpaint. He accepted, and a short while later, at her place, she said they should get married and have their honeymoon in India. He agreed, but then he was rescued by some local townsfolk who put him into rehab. His wife has never been seen since. A goof is that in Proper Condom Use, he states that the last time he had sex was 21 years ago (which accounts for his age as he also mentions he was 19 at the time). However, he clearly had sex with Mrs. Mackey. However, this is clearly backed up by the fact that he was high, so he couldn't remember it, like in Proper Condom Use.

Liane Cartman
Referencing the factor of Ms. Cartman being with many men, in Cat Orgy, at his meteor shower party, Liane is invited. When Cartman calls his mother, the screen switches to the party with Liane on the phone and Mackey walking over to her. The screen switches back to Cartman and we hear through the phone Liane and Mackey flirting with each other. Also, in Something You Can Do with Your Finger, Cartman finds a tape that was recorded between his mother and Mackey where he was her sex slave and had to drink out of a cup that Liane urinated in.

"A lot of action"
In Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub, at his party, Mr Mackey shows his guests his backyard hot tub and says he gets a lot of action because of it, jokingly. It's revealed that he was actually joking in Proper Condom Use, where he says he hasn't had sex in 21 years (besides with his "wife", when he was drugged)

Ms. Diane Choksondik
In Proper Condom Use, while Ms. Choksondik was teaching the girls about sex, Mr. Mackey taught the boys. Later, Diane and Mr. Mackey started talking personally with each other, and this ultimately led to the two of them having intercourse. Indeed, after Ms. Choksondik's corpse was studied in Simpson's Already Did It, (in which he took the form of Simpsons character, Mr Burns) Mr. Mackey's semen was found in her stomach. The news reporter explains that the semen was not what killed her, leaving the audience to presume that Ms Choksondik took some irony to her name and died choking on Mr Mackey's penis.

Principal Victoria
He is very often seen with Principal Victoria, but there has never been any concrete evidence that they are in any sort of relationship, other than business, especially since the Principles husband has been seen in About Last Night

Singing
In Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics, Mr Mackey sings Carol of the Bells

In South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Mr Mackey sings his own song It's Easy, Mmm'kay to his students to stop them from swearing.

In I'm a Little Bit Country, he sings the episodes final song with other South Park townspeople.

Episodes in which he is prominent

 * 'Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo - His first appearance. Kyle sees him as a counselor after the town thinks he is crazy for believing in Mr. Hankey. Mr. Mackey then agrees.


 * Damien - Damien visits him due to his unpopularity.


 * Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut - Stan and Kyle see him to ask why Cartman is playing with dolls. He was also accused of being Cartman's father.


 * Ike's Wee Wee - Mr. Mackey teaches the class about marijuana, though a sample he brought was stolen by Mr. Garrison though it is believed to be stolen by one of the students, resulting in him being fired by Principal Victoria. Mr. Mackey then becomes homeless and turns to drugs and alcohol. He even gets married to a hooker. He is then placed in rehab. At the end of the episode he is cured and returns to his job.


 * Clubhouses - Stan is sent to his office and his parents are called in. However, Mackey is distracted from Stan and focuses on the relationship between the parents.


 * Rainforest Schmainforest - After dealing with Craig, he sends the boys to Getting Gay With Kids. He also organizes the performance and speaks Spanish for most of the episodes.


 * Cat Orgy - Mr. Mackey holds a meteor shower party, that Liane Cartman attends.


 * Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub - During the same party, he is unaware of the cops bent on killing them.


 * Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics - Has his own musical number (Carol of the bells)


 * World Wide Recorder Concert - Organizes the class field trip. He also loses a fight with Mr. Hat and works on the relationship between Mr. Garrison and his father.


 * Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000 - Mr. Mackey is about to punish Cartman for throwing a rock at Token Black, but agents burst in and charge Cartman for a hate crime.


 * Something You Can Do with Your Finger - Cartman comes across a sex tape with Mackey and Liane Cartman.


 * 4th Grade - Joins Chef and Principal Victoria in seeing Ms. Choksondik and Mr. Garrison.


 * Fat Camp - Joins the intervention to send Cartman to fat camp


 * Cripple Fight - Enjoys Jimmy's stand-up comedy performance, including the impersonation of him.


 * Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow - Watches Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow and Jews Phillip out during the film.


 * Proper Condom Use - Teaches sex education to the boys in 4th grade. After finding out he can't teach it because he doesn't know about it himself, he and Ms. Choksondik, try and come up with their lesson plans as she is teaching the girls. They end up having sex themselves.


 * Kenny Dies - Helps break the news to the boys that Kenny has been stricken with terminal illness.


 * Simpsons Already Did It - Ms. Choksondik dies after presumably choking on Mackey's penis during oral sex. A picture of him on the news takes the form of Mr. Burns from the Simpsons in Butters's mind.


 * Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society - Mackey takes over the class, due to Ms. Choksondik's death.


 * Child Abduction is Not Funny - Has trouble teaching the class with all the students parents following them around, especially with his own parents following him around.


 * The Death Camp of Tolerance - Introduces Mr. Garrison as the 4th grade teacher and goes back to being school counselor.


 * Toilet Paper - Accuses the boys of T.P.-ing the art teacher's house.


 * I'm a Little Bit Country - Joins the anti-war side of town.


 * South Park is Gay! - Only appears in the background, with his own metrosexual get-up.


 * Butt Out - Finds the boys smoking.


 * Up the Down Steroid - Timmy tries to tell Mackey that Jimmy is taking steroids, but Mackey can't understand him.


 * Die Hippie, Die - During a PHA meeting, he doesn't believe Cartman that they have to exile all hippies, but later on asks Cartman to help when the hippies take over the town.


 * Erection Day - Mackey takes over the class to read out anonymous letters, though majority of them just say that he's gay. After reading Jimmy's letter about his erections, he dismisses him of board work and tells Jimmy's parents.


 * Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow - Hides in a building with the rest of the town from Global Warming.


 * Smug Alert! - Drives a hybrid car, and can't handle not gloating about it.


 * Manbearpig - Introduces Al Gore to the school




 * Tsst - Recommends to Liane that she should hire a nanny for Cartman after he ties a boy to a flagpole for calling him chubby.


 * Mystery of the Urinal Deuce - Mackey becomes furious about a student crapping in a urinal and makes Stan clean it at the end (because Stan was the one who had done it)


 * Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy - Gives Cartman the duty of hall monitor.


 * With Apologies to Jesse Jackson - Mackey tries to silence Cartman when he can't control his mirth at David Nelson. Later apologises to him.


 * Cartman Sucks - Gives Cartman Liane's message at the end that she found Cartman's embarrassing picture.


 * Tonsil Trouble - Watches Butters kiss Cartman


 * Elementary School Musical - Gets slapped by Mr. Guermo.


 * Dances With Smurfs - Presents Gordon Stoltski's memorial and holds trials for the new morning announcements.

Trivia

 * Lewis Brian, age 13 at Mullion School was put in isolation for hanging up posters of Mr. Mackey saying "Drugs are bad, mmkay" all over his tutor room. The previous day, he printed out 40 copies on the school printer

Señor Mackey