A Song of Ass and Fire

"A Song of Ass and Fire" is the eighth episode of Season Seventeen, and the 245th overall episode of South Park. It aired on November 20, 2013. It continues the story arc that began in the previous episode "Black Friday" and ends in the next episode "Titties and Dragons".

Synopsis
The console wars are heating up in South Park. Princess Kenny's betrayal has left Cartman out for revenge. The kids prepare for an epic battle where one faction's favorite gaming device will come out on top. Will Stan and Kyle's friendship survive Black Friday?

Plot
The episode begins with Lady McCormick, narrating, telling of what will happen in the coming days and of her conquest to be accepted as a queen by all.

At Eric Cartman's house, Butters Stotch and Scott Malkinson are training by fighting one another, much to the disgrace of Cartman, who eventually goes off on them. Kyle Broflovski discusses the PlayStation 4 Army and the console itself getting well-received with Cartman, who blames Kenny for everything.

Later, Cartman calls the Microsoft and tells them of the coming battle.

At the Microsoft headquarters, after marketing insists they help the Xbox One army in the war, the Microsoft CEO denies their requests because of how ridiculous the entire thing is.

Channel 4 News's Field reporter, Niles Lawson, commentates on the most recent mall security death and the mall's dropping another 10% off.

Inside the mall, the other members of security hold a ceremony for their fallen comrade. Randy Marsh, still wearing Officer Krum's scar, keeps the eager buyers from going on to the mall's property.

At the Garden of Betrayal, Cartman manipulates Butters, in order to get him to travel to George R.R. Martin's house with Scott Malkinson. The old man who owns the garden grills Cartman on how he always has talks of betraying someone in his garden, making Cartman angry.

At the Microsoft Headquarters, the CEO is greeted by Bill Gates, who has someone murder him. While he is dying, Bill explains to him, that there can only be one winner and that the time where Xbox and PlayStation could coexist is over.

Butters and Scott make it to George R.R. Martin's house and ask about the dragons. Although George goes on a tangent about penises, Butters and Scott go in to hear it all because Scott, being a diabetic, needs to eat.

Again, at the Garden of Betrayal, Cartman tries to convince Kyle to get Stan grounded. When Kyle says he doesn't want to play dirty, Cartman brings up the fact that Randy, who is Stan's father, has a temporary job at the mall. This makes Kyle reevaluate the option. The old man from before warns Kyle of Cartman's manipulation, making Cartman even more angry.

Meanwhile, Tom Thompson and his fellow news anchor, and sister, Tammy Thompson are having sex when Niles interrupts. He tells them that Bill Gates promises a bloodier war if they report a certain story and that it will be better for them. When Tom goes against this, Niles threatens to tell of Tom and Tammy's incest.

At the mall, Bill Gates and Niles talk about how Bill is giving the Xbox followers access to weapons.

The Xbox One Army goes to Kenny's house and Cartman tries to get the PlayStation 4 Army to surrender and fight with them on Black Friday. The PlayStation 4 Army decides not to.

At George R.R. Martin's house, Scott is on the brink and George hasn't even gotten to the dragons yet.

Cartman and Bill are at the Garden of Betrayal when Bill uses Cartman's techniques against him, worrying Cartman. The old man from before laughs at the irony.

That night, at the Sony headquarters, Niles, after having sex with the President of Sony, asks about how Sony will make the fight more even. The Sony president shows him something in a box, to his amazement.

Meanwhile, at George R.R. Martin's house, Butters finally decides to leave, as Scott is going to die if he doesn't eat. George tries to get them to stay and Butters announces his reasons for coming. George decides he can help them and starts calling people.

The Sony president and other CEOs present Kenny a medallion, that will make him a princess and help them win the coming war.

That night, at the mall, shortly after Randy finds out about this, Niles reports that they are pushing Black Friday and Thanksgiving back a week and that the mall is offering 96% off to the first 100 people inside. This was proposed by George R.R. Martin. As the consumers start fighting, Niles goes on to say that this war will be a bloodbath and that many will die.