Douche and Turd/Script

Cast

 * Stan
 * Kyle
 * Cartman
 * Kenny
 * Butters
 * Bebe
 * Mandy
 * Clyde
 * Red
 * Wendy
 * Jimmy
 * PETA members
 * Mr. Garrison
 * Mr. Mackey
 * Randy, Sharon, and Shelley Marsh
 * Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich, and Mooey, the South Park Elementary mascot
 * Puff Daddy and his posse of bodyguards
 * Principal Victoria
 * Mayor McDaniels
 * Jim Lehrer
 * Ostrich-baby