Mr. Mackey

Mr. Mackey, Jr. is the elementary school's counselor at South Park Elementary, best known for saying "m'kay" at the end of most of his sentences. He also serves on the City Council as head of Public Health. His first name is unknown.

Singing
Mackey is known to have a talent in singing and has sung the following songs:


 * In Ike's Wee Wee, he sings the Pat Benatar song Love is a Battlefield, while staggering home drunk.
 * In "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics," Mackey sings Carol of the Bells.
 * In South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Mackey sings his own song "It's Easy, Mmm'kay" to his students to stop them from swearing.
 * In "I'm a Little Bit Country," he sings the episodes final song with other South Park townspeople.
 * In "Royal Pudding," he is shown to be in charge of a play for the Kindergartners, involving helping their singing.

Appearance
Mackey wears a green long-sleeved shirt, blue tie, blue jeans, and blue shoes. His hair is black, and thinning. He wears large, black-rimmed glasses. Mackey is well known for his exaggeratedly large balloon head. It has been implied in "Ike's Wee Wee" that the size of his head is caused by the tightness of his tie. Yet, in "Child Abduction is Not Funny," his parents are shown to have the same condition. However, in "Proper Condom Use," his tie is removed before he and Ms. Choksondik have intercourse, and his head remains the same size.

Personality
Mackey is one of the few relatively sensible and level-headed adults in South Park. He has occasionally taught classes at the school and taught sex education with Ms. Choksondik. After her death, he took over the fourth grade class until Mr. Garrison returned. During a drug-education class, Mackey passes some marijuana around the classroom, and it was stolen (apparently by one of the children, though it is later revealed that the actual thief was Mr. Garrison). For this, Mr. Mackey is fired by the school, and evicted by his landlord, and, feeling depressed, he ends up taking drugs himself. He hates it when the children at the school defecate in the urinals, and has used at least seven different terms for the word "crap", including "mud monkey" and "chocolate corn/hot dog". He also enjoys messing with pranksters and is a prankster himself as seen in "Summer Sucks". He sides with the "Rock n' Roll" side in "I'm a Little Bit Country", but is later seen as a John McCain supporter in "About Last Night...". He isn't very proficient with computers, as seen in "The Ungroundable". In "How to Eat with Your Butt", Mackey suggests to Cartman he should pursue a career writing for the show Friends, showing he's not a fan of the show.

It is revealed in "Insheeption", Mackey is a hoarder as a result of intense psychological trauma as a child. Mackey is shown as a timid fourth grader in 1974 who is bullied by a group of children led by Billy Thompson. It is also revealed that Mackey was a fan of Woodsy Owl, who at the end of the a field trip during his fourth grade year, molested Mackey. His "give a hoot, don't pollute" message stuck in Mackey's mind as he repressed the memory, causing his hoarding tendencies.

However over the time of the series he developed a very bad temper. In "Royal Pudding" he angrily states he will fucking rape anyone who complains in the school play.

Mrs. Mackey
In "Ike's Wee Wee", after he became an outcast for supposedly giving drugs to the children, Mr. Mackey met up with a young female drug addict, who invited him to her house to fingerpaint. He accepted, and a short while later, at her place, she said they should get married and have their honeymoon in India. He agreed, but then he was rescued by the A-Team who put him into rehab. His wife has never been seen since as she was left in India. A goof is that in "Proper Condom Use", he states that the last time he had sex was 21 years ago (which accounts for his age as he also mentions he was 19 at the time). However, he clearly had sex with Mrs. Mackey. However, this is clearly backed up by the fact that he was high, so he couldn't remember it, like in "Proper Condom Use".

Liane Cartman
Mr. Mackey is seen flirting with Liane Cartman in "Cat Orgy" at his meteor shower party. When Cartman calls his mother to complain about Shelly Marsh, who is watching him, she appears to not hear him and provides no help.

In "Something You Can Do with Your Finger", Cartman finds a tape that was recorded between his mother and Mackey, where he was her sex slave and had to drink out of a cup Liane urinated in.

In "Tsst", Mackey had a parent-teacher meeting with Liane, to discuss Cartman's behavior. This led to her bursting into tears, claiming that she's unable control him. After, Mackey suggests calling one of the nanny reality television shows.

Ms. Diane Choksondik
During her introduction in "Fourth Grade", Mr. Mackey finds Ms. Choksondik, like the other teachers, disgusting, especially her sagging breasts. However, in "Proper Condom Use" Ms. Choksondik taught the girls about sex, and Mr. Mackey taught the boys. The two starting to talk personally with each other, and this ultimately led to the two of them having intercourse. Indeed, after Ms. Choksondik's corpse was studied in "The Simpsons Already Did It", Mr. Mackey's semen was found in her stomach. The news reporter explains that the semen was not what killed her, leaving the audience to presume that Ms Choksondik took some irony to her name and died choking on Mr. Mackey's penis.

Principal Victoria
He is very often seen with Principal Victoria, even outside of school, but there has never been any concrete evidence that they are in any sort of relationship, other than business, especially since the Principal's husband appeared in "About Last Night...". They do seem to have a friendly, casual relationship, though. In fact, Mackey hangs around Principal Victoria enough to look like not only the counselor but more a vice principal. Though in "PC Principal Final Justice" it was revealed that he got Principal Victoria fired due to being used and not being listened to for 18 years.

Hot Tub
In "Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub", at his party, Mr. Mackey shows his guests his backyard hot tub and says he gets a lot of action because of it, jokingly. It was revealed in "Proper Condom Use" that he hadn't had sex in 21 years (besides with his "wife", when he was drugged).

Quotes
Clyde: "I don't know." Mr. Mackey: "You got a whole school here, Clyde! M'kay? You got over three hundred people that need to use the boys' room. Then, you decide you're gonna be a comedian, m'kay, and pinch one off in the urinal, and leave it layin' there for everyone to have to look at! Okay, okay, you think it's funny, but nobody else does! They gotta walk in that bathroom and see your rancid dook propped up against the back of the urinal like a brown rag doll! Principal Victoria: "Mr. Mackey, Clyde's parents are here." Mr. Mackey: "M'kay, that's good! Let's see what your mom and dad have to say about your little poopscapade! Come on in, please. I'm just trying to get your son to explain why... he would drop a dook in the urinal!" ... "M'kay, m'kay."
 * Mr. Mackey: "Why, Clyde? Why did you do it?"
 * Mr. Mackey: "Drugs are bad, m'kay?"

Trivia

 * Rare among major adult characters, his first name is not revealed, though it's known he has his father's according to "Child Abduction is Not Funny".
 * In "Insheeption", we learn that Mr. Mackey was a "level 5 office hoarder", meaning that he had a hoarding disorder (which he was cured of at the end of the episode by his dream therapy).
 * Also in "Insheeption", we learn that he was raped (or at the very least molested) when he was in fourth grade by an anti-littering mascot called Woodsy Owl.
 * He has a verbal tick which causes him to almost always insert the word "m'kay" into his sentences (usually at the end or after a clause.) This is his most well known character trait. He speaks fluent Spanish and inserts "m'bien", the equivalent Spanish word, into his sentences when speaking the language, as shown in "Rainforest Shmainforest". However, in newer seasons, he does not seem to say "m'kay" as much as he used to.
 * In-keeping with his nervous habits as an adult, he is shown to be a very nervous child in "Insheeption". Aside from his verbal tick, he is shown frequently tapping his knuckles together and behaving quite skittishly; shaking profusely and jumping when talked to. He seems to have had a very traumatic time at school, telling referring to his bedroom as "his happy place" in the same episode.
 * Trey Parker stated on the commentary on the Season 1 DVD that this character was based on his school counselor Mr. Lackey, "[Mr. Lackey used to say], 'Trey, quit fooling around and get back to your school work, m'kay' 'but, now, I'm making millions out of him' ".
 * Mackey is one of two teachers at South Park Elementary, the other being Mr. Garrison, who have been fired from their jobs but later reinstated.
 * It was implied in "Ike's Wee Wee" that his head size is caused due to his tie. Yet, in "Child Abduction is Not Funny", his parents are shown to have the same condition (though this might simply be because they all tie their ties too tightly.) However, in "Proper Condom Use", his tie is removed before he and Ms. Choksondik have intercourse, and his head remains the same size. This may simply be a continuity error or goof, or perhaps his tie would have to be removed for a limited time his head to shrink.
 * In "Roger Ebert Should Lay off the Fatty Foods", he is shown to possess a mild psychic ability; using a "mild-meld" to discover what's happening to the brainwashed children. This hasn't been used since then.
 * He appears to be on good terms with all of the faculty staff; he and Principal Victoria are shown spending together outside of school, he and Chef appear interact with each other favorably and he was invited to Mackey's meteor shower party in "Cat Orgy" and "Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub", and he frequently tries to help Mr. Garrison with his various mental health problems, going as far as to track down and visit his family to intervene and "save Mr. Garrison's life", describing himself as Mr. Garrison's therapist to his father in "World Wide Recorder Concert".
 * In "Child Abduction is Not Funny", his father is seen, but in "Royal Pudding", his father is said to have been dead for two years. Though the episodes aired almost a decade apart, in-universe, they couldn't have taken place more than nine months apart.
 * He seems to hold a grudge against Kyle, as seen in "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo", "Tonsil Trouble", and "Royal Pudding".
 * In "Butterballs", it is revealed that Mr. Mackey has an internet degree.
 * He tends to use euphemisms for various words. In "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo", he used the word "mookystinks" to describe fecal matter, and in "Clubhouses", he would use the words "skylarkings" and "tomfoolery" to describe Stan Marsh's note passing.
 * He also very OCD about people clogging up toilets and urinals.

Prominence
Mr. Mackey has thus far had a speaking role in multiple episodes in every season, as well as South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, South Park: The Stick of Truth, and South Park: The Fractured But Whole.


 * "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo" - Debut appearance.
 * "Damien" - Talks to Damien about why no one likes him.
 * "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut" - Stan, Kyle and Kenny go to Mr Mackey to find out what wrong with Cartman.
 * "Ike's Wee Wee" - Fired from his job after he accused of giving children drugs.
 * "Conjoined Fetus Lady"
 * "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka " - Seen in detention room.
 * "City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)" - Parents come to him asking where their children are.
 * "Summer Sucks" (heard) - Calls Mr Garrison.
 * "Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls" (cameo)
 * "Roger Ebert Should Lay off the Fatty Foods"
 * "Clubhouses"- Stan Marsh is called to his office after being caught passing a note.
 * "Cow Days" (cameo) - Seen at carnival.
 * "Chef Aid" (cameo) - Seen being carried by the crowd.
 * "Rainforest Shmainforest" - Director of the Getting Gay With Kids.
 * "Spontaneous Combustion" - Makes a fart joke, when he see Stan and Kyle.
 * "Jakovasaurs" - States that Jakovasaurs piss him off.
 * "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut" - Sings a song called It's Easy, Mmm'kay.
 * "Sexual Harassment Panda"
 * "Cat Orgy" - Seen flirting with Liane Cartman at the meteor shower party.
 * "Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub" - Seen at the meteor shower party.
 * "Hooked on Monkey Fonics"
 * "The Red Badge of Gayness" - Seen as part of Cartman's drunken army of male soldiers.
 * "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" - Sings "Carol of the Bells".
 * "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus"
 * "World Wide Recorder Concert" - Goes to Arkansas with Mr Garrison and the third grade class.
 * "Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000" - Gives Cartman two weeks detention for throwing a rock at Token Black.
 * "Timmy 2000" - He and Principal Victoria ignore Timmy's disability and think he has ADD.
 * "Cherokee Hair Tampons" - Advises Herbert Garrison to write a novel after he loses his job as a teacher.
 * "Chef Goes Nanners" - Seen shopping at the supermarket when Chef talks to him.
 * "Something You Can Do with Your Finger" (in home video) - As Liane Cartman's sex slave.
 * "Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?"
 * "Fourth Grade" - He and Principal Victoria and Chef are disgusted by Ms Choksondik.
 * "Fat Camp" - Appears at a meeting discussing Cartman's weight.
 * "The Wacky Molestation Adventure" (cameo) - Arrested by the police for child sexual abuse.
 * "A Very Crappy Christmas" - States that he is sick of Christmas.
 * "Cripple Fight" - Jimmy Valmer does an impression of him.
 * "Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow" - Tells Terrance to be quiet as he watching Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow.
 * "Proper Condom Use" - Forms a sexual relationship with Ms. Choksondik and teaches the boys of the fourth grade sex education.
 * "Kenny Dies" - Tells Stan and Kyle about Kenny's illness.
 * "Jared Has Aides" - Seen in the angry mob chasing Jared Fogle.
 * "The Simpsons Already Did It" - Mentioned by a news reporter.
 * "Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society" - Teaches the fourth grade class.
 * "Child Abduction is Not Funny" - Teaches the fourth grade class but has trouble since all the students have their parents present as well as his parents.
 * "The Death Camp of Tolerance" - Reintroduces Mr. Garrison to his class.
 * "Red Sleigh Down" - Seen in the crowd with the townspeople.
 * "Toilet Paper" - Calls The Boys to his office.
 * "I'm a Little Bit Country"
 * "Fat Butt and Pancake Head" - Seen listening to Cartman's speech.
 * "Red Man's Greed"
 * "South Park is Gay!"
 * "Butt Out" - Catches The Boys smoking behind the school, which causes the school to burn down.
 * "Good Times with Weapons" (cameo) - Seen at the angry town meeting.
 * "Up the Down Steroid" - Timmy tries to tell him that Jimmy is on steroids, but Mr. Mackey fails to understand Timmy due to Timmy's limited vocabulary.
 * "Douche and Turd" - Counts the up between Giant Douche and the Turd Sandwich.
 * "Goobacks" (cameo)
 * "Pre-School" (in flashback)
 * "Die Hippie, Die"
 * "Erection Day" - Mr Mackey is offended when the students call him gay and he reports Jimmy Valmer's erection to his parents.
 * "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow"
 * "Trapped in the Closet" - Seen at the Scientology church.
 * "The Return of Chef" (cameo) - Seen at Chef's funeral.
 * "Cartoon Wars Part I" - States that he likes the idea of people burying they head in the sand.
 * "Smug Alert!" - Buys a Highbird along with everyone else in town.
 * "Manbearpig" - Welcomes Al Gore at the school assembly.
 * "Tsst" - Tells Liane Cartman that her son's behavior his gotten out of control.
 * "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce" - Tries to find the boy who defecated on the urinal.
 * "Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy" - He and principal Victoria give Eric Cartman the hall mentor position.
 * "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson"
 * "Cartman Sucks" - Delivers an emergency message to Eric Cartman from his mother about the photo of Butters and Cartman.
 * "Le Petit Tourette"
 * "Tonsil Trouble" - Breaks up the fight between Cartman and Kyle.
 * "Major Boobage" - Gives students a lesson on cat urine.
 * "Canada on Strike" - Tells the students its Canada appreciation day.
 * "Eek, A Penis!" - Tells Mr Garrison he should not teach until he get his emotions under control and tell Eric Cartman he did a good job at teaching.
 * "Breast Cancer Show Ever" - Comes to break up the fight between Eric Cartman and Wendy Testaburger.
 * "About Last Night..." - Seen supporting John McCain along with Herbert Garrison, Principal Victoria, and many others.
 * "Elementary School Musical"
 * "The Ungroundable " - Teaches a computer class.
 * "Fishsticks"
 * "The F Word"
 * "Dances with Smurfs"
 * "Sexual Healing "(cameo) - Seen at Kenny's funeral.
 * "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs"
 * "200"
 * "201"
 * "It's a Jersey Thing"
 * "Insheeption" - Revealed to have been sexually abused by Woodsy Owl in his childhood which caused him to develop a hoarding disorder.
 * "Funnybot" - Seen being held hostage by the Germans along with the rest of the school.
 * "Royal Pudding" - Directs a kindergarten play on tooth decay.
 * "T.M.I."
 * "Ass Burgers" - States that Stan Marsh Asperger Syndrome due to him receiving the flu a year earlier.
 * "Bass to Mouth"
 * "1%" (cameo) - Seen at the school assembly.
 * "Butterballs"
 * "Sarcastaball"
 * "Insecurity"
 * "A Nightmare on Face Time"
 * "A Scause For Applause" - Crying because he does not know what to believe in anymore.
 * "World War Zimmerman" - Eric Cartman and Token Black are called to his office numerous times.
 * "Taming Strange" - Buys a new computer system which does not work right and refuses to admit that the system was a negative idea.
 * "Ginger Cow" - Kyle comes to his office to talk about the fart issue with Cartman.
 * "The Hobbit" - Calls Wendy Testaburger to his office numerous times.
 * "Gluten Free Ebola" -Talks about himself being gluten free much to everyone's annoyance.
 * "The Cissy" - Listens to a Mr Garrison's speech about transgender people.
 * "#REHASH" - Calls CartmanBrah to the principal's office.
 * "Stunning and Brave" - Given detention by PC Principal when he states Token is black.
 * "Where My Country Gone?"
 * "The City Part of Town"
 * "Safe Space" - Tells Eric Cartman that he should not have put a picture of himself on the internet.
 * "Sponsored Content"
 * "Truth and Advertising" - Kyle finds him in the principal's office.
 * "PC Principal Final Justice" - Revealed to be the one who got Principal Victoria fired from her job as principal as he was tired of being used by her for eighteen years.
 * "Member Berries" - Tries to help Kyle with his issue and eats Memberberries.
 * "Skank Hunt" - Frustrated with Scott Malkinson's constantly dramatic threats to quit Twitter, he begrudgingly prevents him from doing so.
 * "Members Only" - Seen announcing to PC Principal the arrival of President Garrison.
 * "Not Funny" - Seen at church.
 * "Franchise Prequel" - Introduces the parents to Mark Zuckerberg at the school.
 * "Hummels & Heroin" - Oversees Marcus Preston's presentation in the school cafeteria.
 * "Moss Piglets" - Forces Heidi to judge the special education annual Science fair.
 * "SUPER HARD PCness"
 * "Dead Kids" - He stands behind PC Principal and then he runs into the hallway to try to stop an active shooter.
 * "A Boy And A Priest" - Seen in church. Later calls up the Denver Cathedral for help when Father Maxi goes missing.