The Wacky Molestation Adventure/Script

{|
 * Kyle:
 * Come on. Throw the football, Ike.
 * Ike:
 * [picks up the football] No on dahdo. [the football weighs him down and he sinks into the snow. Kyle rushes forward]
 * Stan:
 * [rushes up with Cartman and Kenny] Dude! [Kyle looks] You're not gonna believe what Cartman has!
 * Kyle:
 * Hepatitis B?
 * Cartman:
 * No, dickhole. Four tickets, 28th row, for the Raging Pussies!
 * Kyle:
 * …You got Raging Pussies tickets??
 * Stan:
 * We're going tomorrow night! Cartman's got the bus schedule all figured out!
 * Kyle:
 * [withdraws] Hold on. I'll be right back. [turns and runs into the house]
 * bgcolor="#dcba98"|[Kyle's house, living room. On the sofa Gerald reads a newspaper, Sheila reads a book. Kyle rushes up to them]
 * Kyle:
 * Mom, Dad, can I go with the guys to see the Raging Pussies?
 * Sheila:
 * No, Kyle.
 * Kyle:
 * But all the guys are going!
 * Sheila:
 * Kyle, you're not old enough, and those concerts are dangerous and vile.
 * Kyle:
 * But Mom, I-
 * Gerald:
 * The answer is no, Kyle!
 * Kyle:
 * Ugh! [turns right and walks out]
 * bgcolor="#dcba98"|[Kyle's house, front lawn. Kyle rejoins the boys]
 * Kyle:
 * My parents said I can't go.
 * Stan:
 * [blinks at Cartman, who blinks back] Well, of course your parents said you can't go!
 * Cartman:
 * Dummy, you don't ask if you can go! I'm telling my parents I'm staying at Stan's house, Stan's telling his parents he's staying at Kenny's house, and Kenny's not telling his parents anything, 'cause they're alcoholics and they don't care!
 * Kenny:
 * (Yeah!)
 * Kyle:
 * [looks down] Ah. Oh, now I already told them.
 * Cartman:
 * Well, I guess you're screwed, then. [walks away with the other two]
 * Kyle:
 * No! It's alright! Just give me some time to work on them. I'll see you guys later. [turns and runs back into the house. Ike finally throws the football off and looks out from the snow]
 * bgcolor="#dcba98"|[Kyle's house, living room. Kyle tries to persuade his parents]
 * Kyle:
 * …But what if I do a bunchof chores around the house? Come on, you're being unfair!
 * Sheila:
 * Alright. Fine, Kyle, you can go to the Raging Pussies concert if you clean out the garage, shovel the driveway and bring democracy to Cuba!
 * Kyle:
 * What's Cuba?
 * Gerald:
 * A communist country run by a dictator named Fidel Castro.
 * Kyle:
 * And do I have to shovel the whole driveway, or just the side the car is on?
 * Sheila:
 * The whole thing.
 * Kyle:
 * Hoh, geez. [walks away]
 * bgcolor="#dcba98"|[Kyle's house, his bedroom, night. He's at his desk writing a letter. He's done his other chores]
 * Kyle:
 * Kyle:
 * [looks down] Ah. Oh, now I already told them.
 * Cartman:
 * Well, I guess you're screwed, then. [walks away with the other two]
 * Kyle:
 * No! It's alright! Just give me some time to work on them. I'll see you guys later. [turns and runs back into the house. Ike finally throws the football off and looks out from the snow]
 * bgcolor="#dcba98"|[Kyle's house, living room. Kyle tries to persuade his parents]
 * Kyle:
 * …But what if I do a bunchof chores around the house? Come on, you're being unfair!
 * Sheila:
 * Alright. Fine, Kyle, you can go to the Raging Pussies concert if you clean out the garage, shovel the driveway and bring democracy to Cuba!
 * Kyle:
 * What's Cuba?
 * Gerald:
 * A communist country run by a dictator named Fidel Castro.
 * Kyle:
 * And do I have to shovel the whole driveway, or just the side the car is on?
 * Sheila:
 * The whole thing.
 * Kyle:
 * Hoh, geez. [walks away]
 * bgcolor="#dcba98"|[Kyle's house, his bedroom, night. He's at his desk writing a letter. He's done his other chores]
 * Kyle:
 * Kyle:
 * And do I have to shovel the whole driveway, or just the side the car is on?
 * Sheila:
 * The whole thing.
 * Kyle:
 * Hoh, geez. [walks away]
 * bgcolor="#dcba98"|[Kyle's house, his bedroom, night. He's at his desk writing a letter. He's done his other chores]
 * Kyle:
 * Hoh, geez. [walks away]
 * bgcolor="#dcba98"|[Kyle's house, his bedroom, night. He's at his desk writing a letter. He's done his other chores]
 * Kyle:
 * bgcolor="#dcba98"|[Kyle's house, his bedroom, night. He's at his desk writing a letter. He's done his other chores]
 * Kyle:
 * Kyle:


 * }
 * }


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