User blog:Rankiit/TOP 10 KENNY DEATHS IN SOUTH PARK

For this list, we’ll be looking at the most iconic ways that Kenny McCormick has bitten the dust. As such, there will be a few spoilers down the line as well as some pretty mature content, so you have been warned.

Death by Baked Potato
The “South Park” movie gave us some of the franchise’s greatest gags. It also gave us Kenny’s most hilariously memorable death. Considering he spends most of the feature wandering around hell, he would have to kick the bucket first in order to get there. While getting set on fire via a fart was funny enough, the real treat came when the doctors tried to save his life by replacing his heart with a baked potato. They managed to buy him three more seconds, but then his chest explodes. It’s as gory as it gets, but you’ll end up laughing your ass off all the same!

Death by Drowning (in Pee)
Considering Kenny ended up dead in nearly every single episode, you can understand that audiences might become complacent and expect it. But in true “South Park” fashion, the creators kept upping their game by delivering unexpected deaths. While at a water park and consequently without his typical hoodie, Kenny is just another face in the crowd as the park is suddenly flooded with urine. As we see lifeless bodies wash away with the pee tide, Stan immediately recognises one of the kids as Kenny. While he’s left in a state of shock, we’re left in fits of laughter.

Death by Ozzy Osbourne
To be honest, anything featuring the Godfather of Heavy Metal is bound to be awesome, even if it involves decapitation. In an obvious reference to the legendary singer’s tendency to bite the heads off of live animals during concert, Kenny becomes something of a substitute for the usual bat or dove. Still, this is probably one of the deaths that Kenny can be more proud of, since now he has an unusual spot in the heavy metal hall of fame. In this case, he just so happened to have earned it by getting his head bitten off.

Death by Autoerotic Asphyxiation
Leave it to “South Park” to mask clever commentary with dark comedy. In order to divert blame from themselves, male scientists justify sex addiction as a disease rather than individual actions. This eventually leads to Kyle, Butters, and Kenny being diagnosed with the condition, and are warned that should they continue down their path of non-existent sexual exploits they will end up dead via autoerotic asphyxiation while dressed as Batman. As it happens, Kenny decides to give it a try, and wouldn’t you know, it doesn’t end up working too well for him.

Death by Mr. Jefferson
“South Park” has never been known to hold back when it comes to controversy, case in point: Michael Jackson. Presenting himself as Mr. Jefferson, the boys become good friends with his neglected son Blanket, and decide one night to sneak him out and swap him with a random lookalike. The plan seems to go off without a hitch… until Mr. Jefferson bursts into the room with his face falling apart. Wanting to play with his son, he swings the lookalike around before tossing him up so high his head get smashed into the ceiling.

Death by Antacid Tablets
Ooh, that’s a nasty way to go. While everyone in South Park is divided over the state of their obviously racist flag and whether or not to change it (not to mention the rather creepy premise of Wendy having a crush on Cartman), Kenny doesn’t manage to give his side of the argument due a sudden case of… exploding. After mistaking antacid tablets for mints and eating way too many of them, he rapidly starts to bloat and explode in a rather gruesome fashion. While we’re all left in shock, everyone else seems to find it rather funny.

Death by Laughter
We all shared in the laughter as we watched the obnoxious Cartman get what he deserved when he initially went up against Scott Tenorman - who showed the entire town a video of Cartman acting like a pig in order to try and win back his money… which he originally spent on buying pubic hair. Kenny finds this so funny that he literally has an out of body experience and passes away from it. Maybe that’s for the best since he didn’t have to witness the horrific revenge that Cartman dishes out when he later tricks Scott into eating his own parents.

Death by Space Station
While this rather simple death, by “South Park” standards at least, does lead to the rise of a zombie horde, we can’t ignore just how funny the opening scene is. While two Russian astronauts get into an argument, rather fittingly about Halloween, they end up causing the MIR Space Station to malfunction and come crashing down to Earth… and also crushing Kenny in the process. Of course no one seems to be that bothered… at least until Kenny’s corpse gets reanimated and he ends up having to be killed yet again. Yikes, Kenny did not get off easy in this episode.

Death by Tampon
It’s hard to forget that despite all the violence and foulness that befalls them in every episode, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny are still technically kids. Nowhere is this better shown than when they mistake a bleeding anus for being on your period. As a growing stomach infestation spreads through South Park, the boys remain blissfully unaware and revel in their supposed maturity, even going as far as sticking tampons into their rectums… which does not work out so well for Kenny as the eventual build-up of pressure leads to yet another bloody farewell.

Death by Syphilis
You would think that Kenny’s life would be on the up after getting himself a new girlfriend. He’s even elated over the fact that she’s regarded as the slutty type. However, his dreams of receiving oral sex behind a TGI Fridays come crashing down when the Jonas Brothers convince her to start wearing a purity ring. Stuck inside a monotonous and celibate relationship, things couldn’t look bleaker for Kenny, that is until the episode’s end where we’re told he did receive that dream blowjob… only to die of syphilis as a result. Guess Cartman was right about girls’ mouths.

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