Quest for Ratings

The boys' school news show is in competition against a rival television program created by Craig. Eric Cartman, Jimmy, Butters, Kyle, Token and Stan are taping "Super School News", a newscast airing on South Park Elementary's closed-circuit television system. Cartman and Jimmy play the leading roles as head anchors, Butters is the entertainment/celebrity reporter, Stan is a field reporter, Token is the meteorologist, and Kyle does sports. However after their news program premieres, their teacher (Mr. Meryl) tells them that they did horribly in the ratings, trailing far behind Craig's home video show, "Animals Close-Up With a Wide-Angle Lens" (which uses the Benny Hill theme song, "Yakety Sax"), which they consider pointless and banal. (Kenny apparently also helped Craig, since Cartman hadn't allowed him to participate in their news show since (quote Cartman) "he is too poor, and poor people don't watch the news").

The news team then pledges to make a program that will be a ratings booster and gain the attention of all students. They rename the show "Sexy Action School News" and add flashy elements (in a parody of various infotainment shows), including random "Panda Madness Minutes" in which the newscasters spontaneously dance with pandas. However, nothing seems to work; although they beat Craig's original series, they fall behind his follow up "Animals Close-Up With a Wide-Angle Lens Wearing Hats". To get ideas, the boys decide to get high on cough syrup. They hallucinate and wake up the next day with hangovers (and ironically enough, watching "Animals Close-Up With a Wide-Angle Lens Wearing Hats"), but their notepads contain nothing useful. Remembering that they had seen Craig's program while high and thought it to be brilliant, they conclude that a majority of the school must be perpetually high on cough syrup, accounting for his ratings. They then decide to produce a special report that gets cough syrup banned from school.

Soon after, the ratings drop and Craig's show is cancelled, as the children are no longer high, and they start to cough endlessly. To emphasize the importance of good ratings, the AV teacher then suspends Craig from school and recommends the removal of his testicles. Satisfied with their results, the "Sexy Action School News" team discovers the curse of a successful show: each subsequent episode has to be just as good. Back in the writer's room, they come up with nothing and eventually decide to just bail.

Cultural References

 * While the boys have hallucinations from the cough syrup you see a video clip of the intro from the new Doctor Who.
 * The apperance of the boys as newscasters is a parody of 1970's-1980's newscasters, who were famous for big poofy hairstyles. It may also be a reference to the Will Farrel film Anchorman.
 * The cough syrup news report is made to look similar to the news reports done by Nightline and 20/20.

Trivia

 * Neither Stan nor Kyle wear their trademark hats at any point during this episode; Cartman only wears his in a flashback.
 * Whislin' Willy's was formerly know as Crust E. Krotch's in the episode "Child Abduction is Not Funny".
 * This is one of the few episodes Kyle and Stan call Cartman by his first name, yet Cartman pronounced it "Ric".
 * When Kyle does the report on the girls' basketball team, he talks about how that had to forfeit their last game and haven't won one at all. However, Cartman makes the error saying they have been on a 6-0 slide instead of 0-6 slide.
 * During the report on cough syrup abuse, they show Middle Park Elementary. This is the only time it was shown in the series.

Goofs

 * At one point when the guys are at 'Whislin' Willy's,' you can see Kevin Stoley sitting at table, but he is also seen standing behind Stan. At another point, Kevin is still sitting at a table, but he is also watching Craig's "Animals Close-Up With a Wide-Angle Lens." The debate of whether this was a mixed-up duplicate or that these could be different kids who look very similar is still up for debate.