City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)/Script

{|class="wikitable" border="1" width="100%" ! !Ms. Crabtree: !Stan: !Cartman: !Stan: !Cartman: !Kyle: !Cartman: !Stan: !Ms. Crabtree: !Kyle: !Stan: !Kyle: !Cartman: !Stan: ! !Ms. Crabtree: ! !Stan: !Kyle: !Ms. Crabtree: !Stan: !Cartman: !Kyle: !Ms. Crabtree: !Kyle: !Ms. Crabtree ! !Guide: ! ! ! !Cartman: !Ms. Crabtree: !Stan: !Ms. Crabtree: !Stan: !Kyle: !Ms. Crabtree: !Cartman: !Ms. Crabtree: !Instructor: !Ms. Crabtree: !Instructor: !Ms. Crabtree: ! !Redshirt: !Kyle: !Ms. Crabtree: !Kyle: !Ms. Crabtree: !Stan: ! !Ms. Crabtree: !Marcus: !Ms. Crabtree: !Marcus: !Ms. Crabtree: !Marcus: !Ms. Crabtree: !Marcus: !Ms. Crabtree: !Marcus:
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 * Be quiet back there! These roads are slick!
 * Hey, Cartman.
 * What?
 * Are you gonna share any of that cake with the rest us?
 * Hmm, let me think... No.
 * Come on, fat-ass, you shouldn't be eating all that cake anyway.
 * Mmm... It's chocolatey and delightful.
 * Give us some, Cartman!
 * Be quiet back there!
 * Whoa dude, the road is really snowy out there.
 * Dude, the road is always snowy.
 * I know, but it's really snowy today.
 * Mmm. I can't possibly finish this whole cake. Uh, yes I can.
 * Shut up, Cartman!
 * bgcolor="white"|[Ms. Crabtree slams the brakes on, opens a box and pulls out a bunny]
 * Okay, that does it. Y'all be quiet or the cute little bunny dies! [points a gun at its head]
 * bgcolor="white"|[The class gasps and look at her for a while. Sure that she has made her point, she puts the bunny back in the box and resumes driving]
 * Dude, she always tries to quiet us down by threatening to kill that bunny, but I wonder if she ever would.
 * Oh, she would, dude. She would. [the bus comes to a halt at a road block]
 * God! [a sign says "Road closed due to avalanche"] Oh, for Christ's sake, I believe this! [two signs read, "Detour", "at your own risk." She starts up the bus and takes the detour]
 * Come on, fat boy, give us some cake now.
 * I cannot possibly eat one more bite of its chocolatey goodness. Oh, wait, wait, wait, try.
 * Dammit, Cartman, you are suck a fat fuck!
 * What did you say?!
 * I'm scared!
 * Be quiet, kid!
 * And right up here you can see a red-bellied chickadee. They're indigenous to this area. []
 * What was that?
 * What was what?
 * bgcolor="white"|[]
 * [finished his cake] All gone.
 * Sit down and shut up! [Cartman returns to his seat. The students groan in pain] I said quiet, or else I'll kill the bunny! [students notice and are immediately quiet]
 * Where are we?
 * I have no idea.
 * I don't think we're in a safe spot.
 * Yeah, what are we supposed to do?
 * Just keep your traps shut; I'll consult the manual. []
 * Ms. Crabtree?
 * Shut up, kid! I have to watch a training video! []
 * Hello and welcome to tape seven of the Bus Drivers' Video Guidebook: "What to do if you get stranded?" By now, you've calmed down the children and kept order by using the "Keep quiet or I'll kill the bunny" technique. Now, it's time to get help. The most important thing to remember is that the children will be safe, as long as they stay on the bus. So do not, under any circumstances, let any children off the bus. The best way to achieve this is to tell them something like, "A big, scary monster will eat you if you step off the bus."
 * Kids! Do not get off this bus! If you do, a big scary monster will eat you!
 * That's right. With the children properly subdued, you can leave the bus and go out looking for assistance. And remember your bus driver's code: "Sit down and shut up."
 * I'm going for help. [Cartman waves at viewers] I'll be back as soon as I can. Remember, don't get off this bus or a big, scary monster will eat you!!
 * Hey, why doesn't the scary monster eat her?
 * 'Cause, dumb-ass, scary monsters don't eat big, fat smelly bitches.
 * What did you say?!
 * I said Larry King won't grant me three wishes.
 * Oh.
 * Dude, this is not good. She could have at least left the heat on.
 * Had to happen to me, didn't it?
 * [singing] Looking for love in all the wrong places Looking for love in too... [notices Crabtree] Oh, it's suppertime. Come to papa. [] Hello, little lady. Going my way?
 * Shut up and help me into this thing! [] Come on, I haven't got all day!
 * All right, sure, of course. []
 * Take me to the nearest town and make it snappy, you freak-ass crackpot!
 * Yes, ma'am-- Right away, ma'am. So, what's a fragile little doe like yourself doing out on a night like this?
 * Look, mister, I've got a busload of kids trapped up on that pass. I need a crane, helicopters, all that crap. Here, let me have some of your aspirin.
 * Ma'am, those are actually roofies.
 * Roofies, aspirin, right now I don't give a rat's ass. How far to the nearest town?
 * It's a ways.