The Red Badge of Gayness/Script

Cast

 * Stan/President Jefferson Davis
 * Cartman/General Robert E. Lee
 * Kyle/President Abraham Lincoln
 * Kenny
 * Jimbo Kern
 * Ned Gerblansky
 * Randy Marsh
 * Grandpa Marvin Marsh
 * Gerald Broflovski
 * Stuart McCormick
 * Mr. Garrison and Mr. Hat
 * Announcer
 * Fort Sumter tour guide
 * Bartender
 * Butters
 * Ralph, the mailman
 * Mrs. Hollis
 * Topeka Traffic Officer
 * News Reporter
 * Chattanoga citizens
 * Sgt. Larsen, Dawkins, and the National Guard
 * Suzette, the S'more Schnapps girl
 * Citizens of South Carolina
 * Bill Clinton
 * Al Gore
 * Adviser
 * Aide
 * Cameos: Chef, Marklars, Aliens