Trapper Keeper

"Trapper Keeper" is the thirteenth episode of Season Four, and the 60th overall episode of South Park. It aired on November 15, 2000.

Plot
Kyle comes to school with a Dawson's Creek Trapper Keeper. He then is joined by Cartman who reveals he has a special, advanced Dawson's Creek Trapper Keeper Ultra Keeper Futura S 2000, which has incredibly advanced computerized features including a TV, a music player with voice recognition and the ability to automatically hybrid itself to any electronic peripheral device. But of all its endless functions, Cartman seems to be most interested in using it to make Kyle jealous; around the same time, a mysterious man going by the pseudonym Bill Cosby (who bears no resemblance at all to the real Bill Cosby) appears and begins to ask about Cartman's Trapper Keeper, which he then attempts to steal. He is caught by Officer Barbrady and Cartman, and Officer Barbrady says, "I'm not going to shoot somebody for stealing your school folder", and when "Bill Cosby" is caught, he explains his actions: It seems this binder is destined to gain sentience and hybrid into a supercomputer to conquer the world in the future and wipe out all traces of humanity (or "hu-monity" as Cosby calls it). Cosby himself is a cyborg from the future named VSM-471, sent back in time to destroy the binder before it could rise to power; Cosby manages to destroy it, but Cartman then buys another one, which, according to the laws of time travel, would be the one that is actually destined to destroy the world, and Cartman refuses to allow this one to be destroyed.

Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison has been demoted to a kindergarten teacher, and his class holds an election for class president. Kyle's brother Ike runs against a boy named Filmore, the result being a tie that would be broken by the vote of a little girl named Flora. Unfortunately, she cannot decide who to pick. "OK, Flora's undecided," Garrison remarks. After she picks, the kids protest about an absent student, then demand recounts, then involve Rosie O'Donnell, who comes to protest that Filmore (her nephew) hasn't won. While this is going on, Stan, Kyle and Kenny have gone with their robotic companion to Cartman's house to convince his mother to help them, but she goes off with Bill Cosby to have sex; Cartman's Trapper Keeper, meanwhile, integrates itself into Cartman's computer and most of his belongings, and then absorbs Cartman himself, becoming a twisted bio-mechanical blob monster in a vaguely Cartman shape. The boys try to bang the door open, Kenny attempts to run and smash the door but he gets crushed against the wall and sets off to Cheyenne Mountain, to absorb a secret military base's computer that will make it unstoppable.

Is Cartman still in there somewhere? After hearing farts coming from an exhaust tube, Stan smiles and says, "He is in there."

Kyle sneaks in to the gigantic Cartman-Trapper Keeper through a ventilation pipe, but before he can disable it the creature incapacitates him in a take-off on 2001: A Space Odyssey. Soon Rosie O'Donnell appears and yells at the Trapper Keeper for blocking the road, which leads to much confusion over which one is the amorphous blob. The creature then absorbs her, but it appears infusing with her made Trapper Keeper sick ("Eeeeww...bad pie...bad pie..."). Kyle is freed, and he takes his chance; he disconnects Trapper Keeper's CPU, and the beast returns to its powerless state. The creature's destruction causes Bill Cosby to disappear, as the robot needs not be created in the future to fight it if it is unable to take over the world, therefore he cannot come back in time (see Grandfather paradox). Stan tells Cartman to thank Kyle, who just saved his life, and Cartman starts to just as the episode ends. The credits roll before he can finish, cutting him off at "Kyle..."

As for the kindergartners, after countless lawyers come in and legal forms and endless meetings, Filmore concedes because "this game is stupid." With Ike as president, the kids decide to go fingerpaint. Garrison is so relieved, finally at peace. There is a moral here.