Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

Cartman Gets an Anal Probe is the first episode of the first season of South Park. It is noted as being the first episode, (not including the unaired pilot episode).

Synopsis
Eric Cartman is abducted by aliens, who give him an anal probe. The aliens also kidnap Ike Broflovski when Kyle Broflovski abandons him at the bus stop and he must get him back. Meanwhile, Stan Marsh has a date with Wendy Testaburger.

Plot
In this episode, Cartman details his dream of being abducted and receiving an anal probe. The others try to convince him it was real, but Cartman dismissed it as them just trying to scare him. Chef then pulls up he asks if they saw an alien spaceship, inadvertently confirming the reality behind Cartman's "dream." After Chef leaves, the school bus shows up, introducing Mrs. Veronica Crabtree, a scary-looking, loudmouthed, middle aged school bus driver who constantly tells the children to "sit down and shut up." As the bus is driving away Kyle looks back and sees his brother, Ike, being held by two aliens.

Several other aliens try to lure away cows by whistling and offering straw. The cows aren't falling for the trap as several of them have been turned inside out. Officer Barbrady explains that cows turning inside out is nothing unusual, clearly revealing that he's an incompetent law officer.

Worried about his brother, Kyle asks his teacher, Herbert Garrison, if he can be excused to find his brother. After being asked Mr. Garrison tells Kyle he has to ask Mr. Garrison's puppet, Mr. Hat. This is when Mr. Garrison and Mr. Hat's shared catchphrase of, "You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!" is introduced.

After class, the four are standing in line when Stan's love for Wendy is revealed by him vomiting when Wendy talks to him. When asked of Chef what to do when someone doesn't believe you, he breaks out into a sultry, erotic, (but off-topic) song.

After being told Kyle's brother was abducted by aliens, Chef freaks out and says, "What the hell do you think you're doing in school eating Salisbury steak? Go find him, dammit!" This is when a cycloptic robot pops up from behind Cartman and quickly retreats from whence it came. To help the children find Kyle's brother, Chef pulls the fire alarm. It is the first time Cartman says one of his famous catchphrases, "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

To lure the aliens back, Stan, Kyle, and Wendy tie Cartman up to a tree. After Cartman farts flames several times, an 80-foot satellite dish protrudes from his butt. After the alien spaceships show up, Ike is revealed behind a door on a ship. Kyle, in trying to get his brother to jump down, tells him to do his impersonation of David Caruso's career. Before jumping out, the aliens talk to the cows. The aliens explain the inside-out thing was "Carl's fault" and gives them a device that makes people sing.

The next morning, Cartman lands at the bus stop with pinkeye that was given to him by Scott Baio.

Trivia

 * In this episode, Mr. Hat lacks eyes. In later episodes, Mr. Hat is given eyes that can even move.
 * I Love to Singa plays when Cartman and Officer Barbrady are being put under alien control.
 * In the original pilot of this episode, Chef gives the boys Super Hot Tamales, instead of pulling the fire alarm to let the boys sneak out.
 * In a later episode, Cancelled, the first part of this episode is redone, with harsher language, with the boys thinking that they are experiencing déjà vu.
 * This episode was parodied in an episode of the children's show Arthur titled "The Contest", along with other shows such as Beavis and Butt-Head, and Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist.
 * In a pan shot of the cafeteria, a voice identical to Kyle's Cousin, Kyle Schwartz can be heard, talking about his bad gas. Cousin Kyle would not be introduced until several seasons in the future.
 * This episode made #9 on the list of 10 South Parks That Changed The World.