What Would Brian Boitano Do?

What Would Brian Boitano Do? is a song in the South Park movie, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Lyrics
What would Brian Boitano do

If he was here right now,

He'd make a plan

And he'd follow through,

That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

When Brian Boitano was in the olympics,

Skating for the gold,

He did two sow cows and a triple lutz,

While wearing a blind fold.

When Brian Boitano was in the alps,

Fighting grizzly bears,

He used his magical fire breath,

And saved the maidens fair.

So what would Brian Boitano do

If he were here today,

I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,

That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

I want this V-chip out of me,

It has stunted my vo-ca-bu-lar-y.

And I just want my mom

To stop fighting everyone

For Wendy I'll be an activist, too,

Cos that's what Brian Boitano would do.

And what would Brian Boitano do,

He'd call all the kids in town,

And tell them to unite for true

That's what Brian Boitano would do.

When Brian Boitano travelled through time

To the year 3010,

He fought the evil robot kings

and saved the human race again

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids,

He beat up Kubela Khan.

Cos Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from an-e-y-body

So lets call kids together,

And unite to stop our mom's

And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,

Cos that's what Brian Boitano do.

And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,

Cuz that's what Brian Boitano dooooo,

That's what Brian Boitano do.