Sexual Healing

"Sexual Healing" is the first episode of Season Fourteen, and the 196th overall episode of South Park. It originally aired on Comedy Central on March 17, 2010.

Synopsis
The latest in scientific testing reveals that some of the boys at South Park Elementary have a sex addiction problem.

Plot
The new edition of the Tiger Woods PGA Tour series of video games incorporates elements of the alleged physical altercations Woods had with his wife regarding his extramarital affairs, and resembles a fighting game more than a golf simulation. Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny become big fans of the game. Meanwhile, scientists at the Center for Disease Control determine that sex addiction is a disease reaching epidemic proportions. They decide to screen schoolchildren for the disease, and Kenny, Kyle, and Butters are diagnosed as sex addicts. Kenny is killed after attempting autoerotic asphyxiation while in a Batman suit, while Kyle and Butters are sent to attend a therapy session for sex addicts consisting of Michael Douglas, Michael Jordan, Ben Roethlisberger, David Duchovny, Charlie Sheen, David Letterman, Bill Clinton, Billy Bob Thornton, Kobe Bryant, Eliot Spitzer, and Tiger Woods.

When performing an experiment on chimpanzees, the CDC determines that money is somehow responsible for infecting males with sexual addiction. Because an image of Independence Hall appears on the back of a $100 bill, they believe the origins of the disorder can somehow be traced there. They submit their findings to President Barack Obama, who reveals that a virus for sex addiction had previously been brought to Earth by extraterrestrials. He accompanies a SWAT team on their raid on Independence Hall in search of the "wizard alien" that is responsible for the sex addiction epidemic. When one member of the team suggests that the mission is irrational and that sex addiction is simply an inherent part of the male ego, he is ordered by Obama to be hauled away.

Because Kyle also feels sex addiction is not a disease, but rather a natural male desire that can be kept under control with the proper discipline, others suggest he is somehow immune from the "spell" of the wizard alien. He is brought to Independence Hall along with Butters and both are given rifles by the SWAT team. The hauled-off SWAT member, gagged and bound in an alien wizard costume, stumbles into the room. On orders from the SWAT team, Kyle and Butters shoot the costumed officer dead and the "spell" is suddenly lifted. Woods announces he is cured of his sex addiction, and the next incarnation of his video game once again focuses on golf. Cartman and Stan reject the new game, with Stan proclaiming that "golf is stupid again."