Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride

"Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride" is episode 104 of Comedy Central's series South Park. It originally aired on September 3, 1997.

Synopsis
Stan's new dog, Sparky, may be gay. He seeks advice, but finds none in the usual places.

Meanwhile, the South Park Elementary football team, The Cows, has their biggest rivals, the Middle Park Cowboys, coming up on the schedule and Jimbo and Ned decide to bet on it.

Plot
While waiting for the school bus, Stan's dog, Sparky, shows up. Stan claims his is the toughest dog in South Park, but Cartman thinks Sylvester is the toughest. Sparky and Sylvester circle each other and prepare to fight, when Sparky jumps on top of Sylvester. Apparently, Sparky is a "gay homosexual", as Cartman puts it. Sylvester runs away yelping.

At football practice, Stan's Uncle Jimbo and his buddy Ned show up (representing the South Park alumni) asking (Coach) Chef if the boys can beat the spread of 70 points. Impressed by a catch, Jimbo and Ned run off to the bookie where Jimbo puts $500 on the South Park Cows, to cover. Unsure of wanting to rely on Stan, Jimbo and Ned seek a backup plan and learn that John Stamos' brother Richard will be singing "Lovin' You" at halftime.

After practice, Sparky shows up and mounts another dog, Rex, who also runs away yelping with his tail between his legs. The next day, after class, Stan asks Mr. Garrison to tell him what a homosexual is. Mr. Garrison's response is that "Gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold, black hearts, which pump not blood, like yours and mine, but rather a thick, black vomitous oil." Stan sets on a quest to make his dog more masculine, hopefully to prevent him from being gay. His first attempt, presenting Sparky with Fifi, a female poodle, fails miserably when Sparky steals Fifi's pearl collar. Thinking that homosexuality might not be bad, Stan calls up Jesus on his show Jesus and Pals to ask him what He thinks of homosexuality. but before he can answer, the show cuts to a commercial. Frustrated, he rants about wanting a butch dog, a Rin Tin Tin. Sparky overhears this and runs away, ending up at Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary.

As they talk to Carl, a bomb and explosive expert, Jimbo and Ned's plan is revealed: to blow up the opposing team using a sonic triggering device as Richard Stamos hits the high F note in the song. They attach the bomb to Middle Park's mascot. At halftime, Richard Stamos fails to hit the note, upsetting Jimbo and Ned, who shout that he isn't as talented as his brother.

Worried about his dog, Stan looks for him and finds him at the Big Gay Animal Sanctuary. Here, Stan learns from Big Gay Al that homosexuality has been around for a long time, and Stan eventually accepts his dog's homosexuality. Returning to the game in progress, Stan steps in as the quarterback, passing the ball to Kyle for a touchdown that beats the spread as time runs out. In his interview after the game, Stan tries to tell the people of South Park about the Big Gay Animal Sanctuary and that "it's okay to be gay."

He attempts to lead the people to the site of the Big Gay Animal Sanctuary, but it is mysteriously missing; people's runaway pets, however, return. As everyone dissipates Big Gay Al appears to Stan, thanking him for bringing everyone, before he disappears as well.

Although the Cows beat the spread, Richard Stamos shows up to prove he can hit the high note that he missed earlier, which triggers the bomb and blows up the Cowboys' mascot.

Kenny's Death

 * Arms pulled off and head knocked of during a tackle by three Middle Park players. Rats chewed on his corpse, following an early running gag.

Trivia

 * The song played during the closing credits is "Now You're a Man" by DVDA.
 * This episode was nominated for an Emmy Award. One year before, The Simpsons won an Emmy for the episode "Homer's Phobia", which also dealt with homosexuality.
 * The Sports Book betting shop is about the size of an outhouse from the outside, but gigantic when they go inside.
 * When this episode first aired on Comedy Central, one of the sports announcer's lines that gets him in trouble was, "And the South Park Cows are absolutely getting molested by the Cowboys. I haven't seen this many children molested since Michael Jackson came to town". On all re-runs, video, and DVD versions of this episode, the line is cut to remove "Michael Jackson" (so, it goes, "I haven't seen this many kids molested since...") and goes straight to the part where Jimbo is in the stands.
 * The disappearance of Big Gay Al at the end of the episode is a spoof of Dr. Lao's disappearance at the end of the movie 7 Faces of Dr. Lao.
 * Jersey numbers: 00 Pip, 4 Stan, 12 Kyle, 13 Kenny, 29 Clyde, 59 Kevin C., 68 Cartman. "13" is often considered unlucky, while "00" emphasises just how bad Pip is.
 * The real John Stamos has no brothers.

Goofs

 * When Kenny receives the punt the announcer say that he is number 23, but the number on his jersey is 13.