Thread:AaSoKawaii!/@comment-3095286-20160918221435/@comment-3095286-20160918223409

Okay, I'll review with you.

Revision as of 22:08, September 18, 2016
You added , whle having a very wrong sun tan.
 * "While" is spelled wrong.
 * This clause doesn't relate to the clause before it or after it. (Out of place)
 * Two adjectives without punctuation.

Revision as of 22:11, September 18, 2016
You added I'm to the beginning of the document. You added , while having the wrong fake sun tan
 * Out of place "I'm".
 * This clause doesn't relate to the clause before it or after it. (Out of place)
 * Two adjectives without punctuation.