Fatbeard

Fatbeard is the seventh episode of the thirteenth season of the Comedy Central show, South Park. It aired on Comedy Central in the United States and Canada on April 22, 2009 and aired in the United Kingdom on April 24, 2009.

Synopsis
Butters and a small group of recruits join Cartman in his dream of living on skull island where they will frolic in crystal clear waterfalls and discover buried treasure. Cartman promises that paradise awaits if they can just get to Somalia.

Plot
After misinterpreting the current pirate pandemic in Somalia as the return of classic mythological piracy, Cartman uses his mother's credit card to book a trip to Somalia for him and his 'crew' (Cartman himself, Butters, Ike, Clyde, and Kevin). After a flight from Denver to Miami to Cairo and then a 49-hour bus ride, the boys arrive in Mogadishu. Once there, however, Cartman and the boys witness the exact opposite of their expectations as Somalia is a rugged, unpleasant impoverished state rather than being a tropical paradise. The boys ask where the pirates are then arrive to their hideout, only taken hostage without their knowledge, as the pirates all speak Somali. The pirates take the boys out to international waters, where they are ransomed to a French luxury liner for 5,000 Euro. Once on board, however, Kevin uses a faux-lightsaber to hijack the vessel from her French crew, stereotypically portraying the French as cowards. After returning to Mogadishu with the captured vessel, Cartman and the boys are finally accepted by the pirates. Cartman starts then start fashioning them into a stereotypical crew and sings a sea shanty "Somalian pirates we" with them. Meanwhile, the French crew is rescued by a NATO vessel, and NATO, horrified that the pirates had a lightsaber, order more forces to the Horn of Africa.

Meanwhile, back in South Park, Kyle realizes that his brother Ike has run away to Mogadishu with Cartman and the other boys. He had earlier convinced Cartman to go to Somalia in hopes of never seeing him again, thus inadvertently shipping off his own brother. He then sets off for Mogadishu to bring his brother home. Once Kyle arrives he is taken captive by the pirates and held hostage. Cartman and his gang demand 10 million Euros for Kyle's release, and Kyle tries in vain to convince Cartman that Somalia is not the paradise Cartman claimed it was. Later, one of the pirates, Guleed questions Butters and Ike for wanting to become pirates, as he explains that he himself never wanted to be one, but had to out of desperation as his family and friends were dying. Realizing they had misinterpreted the pirate's life, the boys renounce their pirate activities, angering the delusional Cartman, who threatens them if they dare to leave. The US military, sitting off the coast, has snipers lined up to attack. Cartman tells all of the boys that they can never leave because they are surrounded by his pirate allies who, a few seconds later, are all killed by the snipers. Defeated, he curses at the massacre.

Cultural References
"And if one more person talks to me about Susan Boyle's performance in Les Miserables I was going to puke my balls out through my mouth."
 * This episode is the second episode to reference France's historical military cowardice. The first being Make Love, Not Warcraft.
 * The scene which shows the boys traveling to Mogadishu is a parody and reference to the classic "traveling" scene in all four Indiana Jones movies.
 * The Pirates theme sounds similar to the Pirates of the Caribbean theme.
 * Susan Boyle, who was well known for singing Les Misrables on Britain's Got Talent around the time. was referenced in this episode.
 * The box of ammo in the pirates quarters is .303 ball, this is only used in the British Lee-Enfield Rifle.
 * The theme of the episode comes from the recent news of pirate attacks in Somalia.
 * Les Miserables, a show that Matt Stone and Trey Parker like and inspired several songs in South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, is referenced when Ike writes:

Trivia

 * Cartman states that Jews, Mexicans and Gingers are not allowed in his pirate club, and even kicks one ginger boy out; however, he allows Ike to be in, only because his origins are from Canada.
 * It is revealed that Kevin's last name is Stoley; thus, he is no longer identified as "Kevin C."
 * The ginger kid who does the morning announcements appears at the pirate meeting; he was one of Cartman's lieutenants in Ginger Kids. He was later murdered in Dances with Smurfs.
 * A new kindergarten teacher is shown. She has brown hair, wears a long purple skirt and a yellow top.
 * A kid with black curvy hair, a red top and brown shoes replaces Eric Cartman in the classroom.
 * Cartman's new catchphrase in this episode is "The fuck?" whenever he's shocked or angry.
 * This is the second episode where the word "cock" is said; the other being Le Petit Tourette. It was also said occasionally in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.
 * Cartman tells Butters to move the ship "Hard to port" then tells him to go to the right. Port is a salor term for left however being kids they probably didn't know that anyway.

Quotes
Cartman (repeated line) The fuck?!

[Clyde is crying during Cartman's pirate trip]

Cartman: Clyde, the fuck?!

Clyde: (crying) You said there was gonna be treasure, crystal-clear lagoonsm and plunder!

Cartman: Calm down, Clyde. Everything's gonna be okay.

Clyde: No, it's not! You made me run away to be a pirate, and there's not even any treasure! (cries even harder)

Cartman: Ike, would you do something about Clyde, please?

[Ike slaps Clyde, shutting him up]

Cartman: Very nice, Ike.