Proper Condom Use

Proper Condom Use is episode 72 of Comedy Central's South Park. It originally aired on August 1, 2001.

Plot
Stan and Kyle are playing with their Jennifer Lopez play set when Cartman comes over to demonstrate something he learned from the Fifth Graders. The trio then run to Kenny's house where he then begins to masturbate Kenny's dog which leads to ejaculation, which they think is milking it.

Stan, not knowing what masturbation really is and thinking that what Cartman did was cool, demonstrates the technique "Red Rocket" on his dog Sparky in front of his parents' company, after which he is then grounded for ten months. Stan does not understand why he is being punished and when his parents try to explain to him what sex is, they don't really know how to explain it. They then decide with other parents that the schools should be teaching sex education at a younger age, apparently forgetting about Stan's punishment.

Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik instruct the fourth graders on sex-ed and while Miss Choksondik is teaching the girls about the perils and horrors of sexually transmitted diseases, Mr. Mackey tries to explain to the boys how to have sex. Not remembering what to do from his last encounter, Mr. Mackey comes up blank, while Miss Choksondik tells the girls that they will catch an STD and die if the boys are not wearing condoms. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison is tasked with teaching proper condom use - to kindergarten children. His preferred method of applying one using the mouth shocks his students.

The boys, not having learned anything, ask the girls what they learned. The girls, still horrified from their lesson with Miss Choksondik, back away and tell the boys that they need to wear condoms at all times. The boys then go to the pharmacy where the male pharmacist refuses to sell the boys condoms. However, the female pharmacist is on the boys' side and sells them the condoms because she wants them to be safe if they are in fact having sex.

The boys then buy the condoms and wear them at all times, but when they get too uncomfortable, they talk to Mr. Mackey who tells them they only have to wear them when they are having sex. Angry that the girls misled them, they go to a fort where the girls are hiding and tell them to come out a la The Road Warrior. When the girls refuse, it leads to a violent confrontation. The boys and girls start fighting with improvised weapons and explosions erupt, which gets everyone's attention.

While Miss Choksondik and Mr. Mackey are preparing the lesson plan, they swap stories about their sexual past, both come up empty and they become interested in each other. The two then undress, kiss passionately and then have a rather grotesque sexual encounter.

The aftermath of the battle between girls and boys lead to several casualties, and the parents think the children are the ones responsible. But then Ms. Choksondik takes full responsibility for the conflict and apologises to the girls, since she never actually told them you must have intercourse in order to catch an STD.

After this, Chef explains that sex is emotional and needs to be taught by family, rather than at schools through textbooks and diagrams. When asked when children are ready to have sex, he responds with an unconditional, "17 — you're ready," a reference to the age of consent in Colorado. All of the children are relieved they don't have to worry about disease for at least 7 years (especially Stan and Wendy, who are in love), and the episode ends with Cartman playing "red rocket" with another dog.

Trivia

 * The Jennifer Lopez doll and car Stan and Kyle were playing with in the beginning is the same one from the episode Cartmanland. In this episode there are burn marks already on the car, caused by the firecracker the boys stuck in it.


 * The sex positions that Mr. Garrison describes – Hot Carl, Hot lunch, Filthy Sanchez, Glass bottomed boat, Fish Eye, Pile driver, Donkey Punch and Chili dog –are real, and many involve anal sex and/or feces.


 * In Australia, this episode received an MA rating (similar to the TV-MA rating on American TV) as opposed to the usual M rating (similar to the TV-14 rating on American TV), due to its strong sexual content throughout the episode and the graphic violence near the end of the episode (the sequence where the boys attack the girls at the fortress). Because of its content, this episode also aired at 9:30 at night instead of its usual 8:30 timeslot. However, the British satellite channel Sky One banned this episode for its strong sexual and violent content (despite airing a TV trailer with scenes from the episode). The UK terrestrial channel Channel 4, however, aired this uncut. Paramount Comedy 1 has also shown this episode. MTV UK has also shown this episode uncut.


 * In the television airings of this episode and the Best of South ParkDVD, the afterbirth scene had a fart sound effect, but on the Season 5 DVD boxset, it was replaced by a squishing sound effect.


 * A study by the Parents Television Council on violence, sexual content, and profanity on cable television briefly referred to multiple scenes in this episode.

According to DVD commentary, the Comedy Central censors told Trey and Matt to drastically shorten the part where Mr. Garrison demonstrates how to put on a condom by using his mouth with a condom around the lips and deep-throating the model penis used in the lesson.

Goofs

 * When Cartman says “Red Rocket” when he shows Stan, Kyle, and Kenny how to “milk” a dog, his mouth moves but he doesn’t speak. This was corrected in the Comedy Central reruns, but not on the season five DVD.


 * In this episode, it is implied that Mr. Mackey had limited experience with sexual intercourse: first when he is teaching sex-ed to the students; again talking to Ms. Choksondik, planning their sex-ed curricula; finally, on the closing of the episode, Chef says that Mr. Mackey doesn't know anything about sex. However, in the episode Ike's Wee Wee, it is implied that he has sexual intercourse, and subsequently marries a rather attractive woman. Also, in the episode Cat Orgy, it’s implied that he is going to have sexual intercourse with Mrs. Cartman. In Something You Can Do with Your Finger we see a video clip of Mrs. Cartman and Mr. Mackey involved in bondage.


 * The child who was shot with a nail gun is first shown with brown hair but in another shot, has red.